The Life is a Toad
So, one day I'm the proud owner of a new car, had the house to myself, was enrolled in a japanese course, going to a free training in Photoshop & Maya, had the perspective of getting a job in the area I wanted.
Suddenly, I'm walking about a mile to get to the train to got to work, not enrolled in the japanese course, not going to the training, and stuck for some months on a job that is quite dull and mindless, not in the area I like, for the next 4 months or so.
No, I did not hit the twilight button or something.
This is all simple reverberations from the accident. I'm still getting used to the new life, considering it all changed in about a week or so.
Last week was really random, some days I had a lift from my boss, other my dad took me shopping for some basic things I would need, like social clothing (ha... imagine me using a social pants and shirt to go to work. Almost seems like a nightmare.), food and to take care of some insurance problems.
I've been throwing around the "I've been in an life changing accident." lately. Not to get sympathy, as this does not seem to strike sympathy. But more to get people to think more before they complain about things.
People from all the places still come to me and say the know people who have brain problems like mine, and that they live under medication, but live a normal life. My parents also keep saying I'll live a normal life. Little they are able to realize that I haven't lived a normal life in quite some time now, and now I'm a lot farther from it. Where did human kind go that saying others are worse than you should make you feel better? Come on, if I'd think that meant something I could always think about african cities that live under wars, people starve, and have to work 16 hours a day from 7 years old, just to make it alive.
The irony, is that some of those people are far happier than me. Not because I am ungrateful, but because happiness varies from person to person. And my life has taken me down a road that is hopeless, in the lack of a better word.
My boss tells me the things he has to organize in order to get some business, how he works on the weekends to keep a contact with a possible contract for us to work. He tells me about the taxes we pay.
In the end he shows the simple things, which I've come to realize a long time ago, but accomplishing has been more than hard, while life sucks, all you can do is enjoy the things you like, because next week it all starts again. He said: "The life is a toad." in a literal and accurate translation. And I find it a perfect description.
This life we are forced to life is more than ugly. Poisonous sometimes. It gets by with weird hops, slimming its way from here to there. But from time to time we find a special gift to make it seem more fun and happy.
There is no way to predict the future. That is what most believe.
Maybe you'll win the lottery next week.
The only thing to do is keep on going. It is either that, or die.
Why worry about life. It is all random chance.
So take your odds. Gamble a bit every now and then. Maybe luck will shine your way.