Chances
I could hear that sound: "tu-tum", followed by the sound of chains grinding against each other.
Something held back.
Hesitation?
I pushed forward. The sound faded. Or I grew used to it.
Something moved. It did little but to shift sideways, enough for me to feel its presence.
Hope?
The path followed a long way before it came to a trisection.
There was a decision to be made, and not much time about it.
How to decide, when they all seem so different and lead to unknown futures?
It all comes to chance in the end.
We try to analyze the status, I for one usually trail only those with high status, we think about the consequences in the other paths and sometimes we give it to random chance.
I had only one high status path, but it lead towards a road I knew would be a dead end, if it didn't change along the way. And as though it would be a fun path, it did not seem to lead to a good outcome.
The other two were reasonably new, even though I had passed near one of them in the past. None showed much promise and they didn't meet the basic expectations I usually have.
But I took the chance, and went for the most clear, accessible and with high gamble way.
I may regret along the way not having chosen another path, but I would regret it the same anyway. Maybe this will turn for the best.
Contradiction?
But I still believe the path for me lies beyond that huge blanket of water.

Paths
It is around my birthday that I become uncomfortable.
It is the defined time of the year that I become anxious. It's been like this for 110 years now.
Mostly to me it is a reminder of things that are not.
But it's also usually a time of weird things happening.
I'm facing paths.
Weird and unbalanced ones.
Unstable and without promises.
Either way I go, doesn't seem to change much for me. Some seem to lead to enjoyable moments, that may be followed by some regret and pain, while others lead a more familiar and bland path.
It is always the simple gestures that get me.
A kiss, some kind words, or even the slight gift of hope.
Company is usually appreciated, but less important since it is a reflection of a custom in our society.
In the end, I'm left lonely, with a lot to think about. And each day less time to either think of enjoy the stuff I like.
But maintenance must be done... and with it, I must choose paths and products that will result in a better road.
At least I don't put hope in finding a good road anymore. After all, there is now less than 6 years.

Shut Up!!!
Have you ever felt the quiet and unsatisfied urge to raise from your desk and yell "shut up" to someone who was saying something completely, mindbogglingly stupid?
I am proud of knowledge, and arrogant about my attitude. I say this now, because of what I'm gonna tell.
I recently joined this course about computer animation applied to games. The first part of the course encompasses art concepts, drawing, perspective and such things. The classes consist of series of exercises about drawing. And it is not something very serious, so most of the time there are people conversing, be it about the concepts seen in class, asking the teacher about something or plain talking nonsense with a friend.
I remain silent most of the time, placing a witty comment here and there where it seems fit to apply. I prefer the role of observer, as I stated many times, and so I hear what others say, all while trying to make use of the little artistic skill I have.
I first was in the saturday night class. I had an acquaintance there, and people were nice. But sometimes the things I had to hear were just too much for me. Those people are very strong minded, showing opinions without knowledge, or with biased facts. Not to mention, inappropriate topics, such as discussing hentai. Heck, I don't mind it, but there is a place and time to talk about it, and doing so publicaly is not appropriate with people you don't know. I could not restrain myself from thinking "what the hell, I'm I surrounded by 14 year olds?".
Maybe I'm being too uptight. Still, I managed to keep silent.
I changed to the tuesday/thursday class so I could free my saturday, which has proven to be more than precious to me.
This is a change I came to regret. Though I will not change back, there were some inconveniances about it. The first and offtopic was the train is extremely crowded all the way.
But continuing, I've seen one class only in the new group. New people, new talks. Unfortunaly far more stupid topics.
Come on, it has been some time since I've heard this level of stupidity. At one point I really considered getting up and shouting "shut up you ignorant twerp". There seem to be a group of old friends who wouldn't be silent for even a minute. I'd venture to say the brain age of the group was near 10 years old. While the group seemed older, between 15 and 20, their words clearly did not mach their bodies.
The irony of it all. The "leader" of the group, was the one who had a girlfriend there. A beautiful one to. It's not only that I can't get up and yell "shut up", or that I "HAVE" to listen to all the crap, but in the end I don't even get to say that he won't get laid so soon.
I wonder if people are becoming more stupid, I'm becoming more demanding about people and/or I ventured into this weird place of low intellect.

Rocknrolla
This is a great movie.
Really well put together.
The music fits it like a glove.
And the ending is great.
Expectation build up is good.
And the intro music - "I'm a man" from Black Strobe - just won't leave my head. I just want to hear more of it.
If you're not into the type of movie, at least search the music on youtube and see if you like it.

The firefly night.
They say it takes a catastrophe to make us appreciate something in our lives.
I never disagreed but this last one was rather unusual.
There I was surfing the net, and watching the last two laps of the F1 race, when suddenly this lightning strikes in the middle of the rain and blackouts the whole region.
Ok I didn't see the last laps, but heard on the radio the results. Unimportant. After some time and a nap, it was already night and no prospect of getting the lights back.
My parents had things to do, and I much preferred to have something electronic to play with. But nothing. Eventually we hear a strange sound in the street and hoping it had something to do with the repair guys I went outside to see if there was one of those spinning lights from an official car.
It was pitch black. The clouds covered the sky, no lights in some good distance.
That is when I saw. There were an incredible amount of fireflies blinking in my yard, all of them hoping to find a mate. But to me, it was all a light show.
Go fireflies, I hope you find your partners, or whatever the hell works for you.