Facing the Truth
6 years ago my life changed... drastically.
We look at our past, and remember events.
Since that day, so many things happened.
I've seen deep fears come true. I've seen the selfish side of humans.
I've seen how helpless I was, and in the process, how self absorbed I acted.
I know, when people are plunged into their worst nightmares, there's little they can do to act civil, and I see how poorly, despite my age, I reacted.
My actions had their ramifications, and consequences. I've lost important friends. I saw how fragile the bonds around me really were.
I learned how to turn despair into resolution, and took arms to fight for my own freedom. But I fought the wrong battle, I fought to free myself from the shackles of responsibility, instead, I should have fought for myself, for my humanity, for being a better person.
I've paid the price. With the road I choose, the power I used, there was a cost. As I knew, it was steep, but blinded I saw no other way.
I traveled. Far, close... to many places. I've seen beauties in my country that make me proud and humble to live in this planet. I've gone abroad, with friends, and for a slight moment, on my own.
I traveled with friends. And with family too. I've seen that different places, are not so different.
Neither are people.
I've had lots of fun. I had friends to keep my mind busy most of the time. I created stories, games, songs, adventures.
I've changed jobs a few times.
I moved to a new city. And met new and incredible people.
I was robbed... twice. But, despite the frustration and injustice. It is as insignificant as a grain of sand in the beach.
Countless movies.
I've got engaged in worlds that now I hold so dearly with me.
I've bought two videos game consoles.
I got to know a face of beauty and kindness. And even though, we are apart, she gave me a lot, and I am thankful and wish everyday for her happiness.
I've got to live some adventures.
Being at a distant view, I saw the changes in bonds around me. Bonds filling with tears. I saw unexpected bonds blooming incredibly.
I heard people telling to wait.
I heard people telling me to take action.
I learned that it's not about either one. MY life, is about reacting, doing the things needed when they are needed, and waiting when it's right.
I miss the life I had.
I miss what I was.
But it's not about what could have been, or what I should have done. It's about making my life the best it will allow me to achieve.
I won't forget that day. I think I can't. I'll take it with me to my grave, or to the crematory if anyone pays attention to my desires.
But six years latter, I realized something I've known for some time.
That day, that day of the year, contrary to the first few years, is no longer a part of my life.
Despite it being a reminder that I now don't even pay attention to, I does not affect me.
My life now is fully independent from that event.
Despite what I do feel now, despite the price I paid or the memories that will serve as lesson, I don't care about that particular event anymore.
My life has found a path with no intersections with that event.
Not that I'm celebrating of complaining.
It's about accepting.
It's about me fully understanding that my life has moved on. Full of troubles and sorrows. But glowing with friends and fun. Still with a lot of opportunities. I don't need to look to the doors that were closed, or the doors that opened. I just live in a knew situation, and I'm focused in dealing with it, and not the past that led me there.
We can't fight things stronger than us. But it is still our own story, and we can answer to the call of the wind, take the stage without questioning, and act the lead role of our lives.

The Consuming Power
For a while now I've been wanting to analyze the difference and main aspects of both Rage and Hatred. First we begin by the dictionary definitions.

Rage:
1. a : violent and uncontrolled anger b : a fit of violent wrath c archaic : insanity
Hate:

1 a : intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury.

Even though they seem to refer to almost the same emotion, even by looking at the definition we can see the nature of both is different.

Rage, often associated with fire, is as said, uncontrolled. Rage comes as a severe reaction to an event. Rage usually bypasses all rational judgment, fueling one's desire to action. It makes them act violently, being straightforward and trying to solve the problem instantly. The downside, is that when ignoring all rational thoughts, one is very prone to make some mistake, or take an action they might regret. It can be seen as something that consumes the body, empowering it, while rendering one's mind disabled. It make your body more ready to take action, ignoring fear or personal safety. Any animal trying to protect their young from predators, is showing anger.
Hatred works very differently. Hatred is not something one suddenly feels, it does not lead to immediate action and it does not cloud someone's judgment. Hatred is a byproduct of other emotions, if one can't properly process one's emotions, they might end up turning into hate. Being mistreated, abused or psychologically wounded may lead to hatred. Hatred has a point, it's own agenda, and it leaves one's mind free to calculate, think and plan how to complete this agenda, with least personal damage. Hate does not prepare the body to do anything, it occupies the mind to think, but the mind is left intact, but there is one problem with hate. Hate consumes the soul. It changes people's attitudes, the way they see the world. It kills innocence. It may not lead to action, but those willing to take action, are likely to do something drastic.
None of these are good to feel. While anger may lead to a solution to an immediate problem, it does not last, it leaves no scars, but the occasional regret of some action taken. Hatred on the other hand may seem like a way to end pain and other negative emotions, but is a one way road, it consumes and changes.