With the flick of a finger
As anyone I believe myself to be stronger, not physically, than most people. Of course, I know my limits.
But I'm impressed to see how easy I can fall down.
The simple flick of a finger is enough to tilt me into falling.
Something as simple as... breaking my ice cream cup. Not that ordinary cup, but one my mom bought years ago when we lunched together on a certain restaurant. A cup I probably can't get again.
So simple.
So nerve breaking.
So sad.
I wonder why it make me so sad, it's supposed to be just glass breaking, and I've broken many glasses through life.



Why?

Fear
One of the most basic instincts. One we can't control, or understand. Some people say we fear the unknown, I agree. Fear is simply a sensation from the adrenaline rushing through one's blood. Biologically speaking fear is just a stimulus to produce adrenaline which itself makes us faster, increases our reflex, makes us stronger and braver. This is mainly for our survival, I guess most, if not all, animals have the same mechanism, they even say to kill chicken fast and painless, so they won't produce adrenaline which tensions all the muscles.
So, when someone asks you what fear is, you can say it is the production of adrenaline in your body to make you more powerful. But like everything in life, you can tell it like it is, or you can embellish it. I'd like to try the second.
So I've been thinking, (about two weeks ago), fear could be compared to a door. We say that in life we walk through lots of paths. So it would be only logic to say that we don't trail one certain path because there is a locked door in the way.
You fear losing someone you like, so you get afraid of going forward. This in life is usually unavoidable, so eventually life will push you forward through that door.
You fear dying, so take one doors that seem to avoid your death, even though the other doors may lead to a perfect future and life.
You fear an animal, so you take doors that don't make you meet such beast.
What causes a door to be locked? Is it such unconditional fear, that no logic can understand? I'd say it is. Some of our fears go unexplained, we don't, or can't, reason with them. Like fear of heights, speed, people, flying on a plane or even the fear to speak in public, this like I've heard is number one reason of fear in the U.S., while Death is second.
We fell our lives threatened, so we are afraid. It is the same fear that keeps me from going on big roller coasters. I have no reason to fear such a fun ride, many people a day go on it and nothing happens, even so I'm held back by a force beyond my power, a lock. The same goes everyday with people who are afraid of flying.
In many cases people pull up some courage to unlock those doors. So the metaphor goes on comparing courage as a key.
As we walk through life we find many doors in our way. Some we would like to cross, but don't have the key, some we don't want to cross even when we have the key.
But many people try to make the best to open some doors. Usually there is a reason to get to the other side. A love, a friend, a job or just family.
We do not have all the keys, sometimes the key to that door may be with the people you know, or even with people you never met. If you wish to get to the other side, muster all the power you can and see if you have the key, if you don't, don't be afraid of asking people you know for help to get on the other side, they may just have the words that hold the key.
There are many things other than fear that may be locking a door. But the same as with fear, someone has to have that key, so go on search for it.
We let our fears hold out part of our lives, we take trails we'd rather not, we hurt people, we hurt ourselves, we become unhappy because we can't face our fears. Maybe it is something unknown, maybe you won't like it, but we eventually change, that is absolute. One day you may cross one door and end up liking something you've been afraid your whole life, so why wait? If you have no better path to chose, if there is nothing more important in your life to do now, face the uncharted. Go on to places you've never seen, even if it is only inside yourself. Never hold back on what could be better because of your fears. Don't avoid doors because of it, that way your feelings may turn to hate, pain, jealousy, envy, grudge and even worse.
Whenever possible find a new key and open those doors. Like the Sunscreen song tells: "Do one thing everyday that scares you!"
I'm not saying to open doors that seem stupid to open, only to find the key that is well hidden inside of you. You may need it in the future.
And if ever possible, find a master key. The one that will open all your doors when needed, or all doors locked by fear. I have mine, do you have yours?

~ The Adventurer Chronicle 24 ~
" - So, what does it read? - asked Cid impatiently looking back through the door they came.
- Well... if my translation is correct, it should be something like this. "Your passage, is only but a test, so to be worth of something you must prove your value. One may only enter through the barrier with the burden of the ten curses in this room."
- Curses, what does it mean curses, like when you curse someone for doing something wrong? - asked the whipmaster.
- No not quite. It is more personal. Its like any spiritual power, it just... wait you don't know about curses?
By this point the group was looking oddly to her, and the question only made everyone look around at each other to see if anyone knew what she meant. The collective look she got back only indicated they did not.
- Well, - she explained - curses are spiritual powers, just like any other power, but they are used and applied in a more specific way. It was very common way to user our powers, but it was abandoned many ages ago since it only brought destruction. Curses can't be used to restore, and heal. Well, that is what my mother told me. Apparently curses can be used by anyone, but if you are not familiar with the basis of the concept of cursing, you can only do curses related to your elemental power.
- So you know how to use these curse powers. - asked Maelstron.
- Well, it is not what I developed, but I know some very basic curses my mother taught me.
- So you can tell us what are these ten curses over here. - Cid said pointing to runes carvings in the walls of the room.
- Well, you know... - she blushed - I can try.
As she started to read the runes, Maelstron headed for the door, and started an incantation. After some seconds he cast a major illusion over the place to try to cover their tracks. As he was finishing the incantation Selina finished deciphering what she could read.
- As I expected I can't make out what the other seven curses are, but these three I've seen something similar. This one is a curse of movement, probably we won't be able to use any special movement inside. This is a spell block curse, basically no spell casting with this curse. And if I'm not mistaken, the last one should be recovery curse, we can't recover health naturally.
- If those are three of the ten curses, I imagine this will be most challenging.
- Yeah, we are so used to using our powers.
- So, shall we?
Everyone looked around. They knew they had to go on. But most of them were scared, not only they could not use most of their power, but they didn't know what other curses would there be to impair them. Of course..."
~ End of Part 24 ~

Immortalization
Immortal, one who cannot die. Many people dreamed about being immortal, but from my point of seeing, immortality will only lead you to seeing your loved ones die. To some people it may be time to wander through a vast planet, and experience and infinity of new sensations.
But working on the real of Earth, where we know not how to be immortal, what does this word mean? Well, I agree with some points of view on this, but to put it simple, no one lives forever and that is that. So I take that immortalization is just as some people say. To have your name echoed through eternity.
Albert Einstein, John Lennon, Leonardo da Vince, Beethoven, Shakespeare, Walt Disney, Mahatma Gandhi. People who are worldly know, and will be heard through history for a long time, even though some have just recently become part of history.
Once again, an old concept that many people are familiar with. And I risk to say many dream of becoming part of history.
Do I? Yeah, why not. I just want to give back to the industry that gave me so many great moments. I'll strive to have my name known as a great part of it, but I don't care if my name is ever mentioned long after I am gone.
Of course, we all want to be recognized.
Immortalization is just a step further, a large step. But what does it take to become part of history.
Well there are many things one can do. I have no clue to most of them since my connection to history is very low. But I have my own take about it.
From the ways to become part of history, there is only one I truly respect. The others are not as meaningful as this one is, but on this selection many people who deserved to be here may be left out. Of course one can try to kill the pope, the president or any person greatly known to the world, but this is NOT a respectful way of putting your name into history.
If you look back to these people, they have something in common with each other. They all did something, or mostly many things, that marked an era, a turning point, and with that had their names immortalized. It may have been a song, many songs, a work, a collection of works, masterpieces, ideals, or simply a revolutionary discovery. None of them where fools, or lazy. They may not have been rightful people, they may have been evil, clueless or simply nuts. But they had it in them to put more then everything they could into their work/passion, so that their accomplishments were nothing short from perfect. They may not have been perfect, but they had more in them than most things through centuries.
One whose dedication to one's work exceeds that normal human limit. Those who work to be more than best. Those who are true to themselves and will make their dreams into reality.
Those are the ones who deserve to have their names wrought into history. After all, a name to be told through ages, should be worth saying.
This comes after a song compiling John Williams' works. After some research on him, mostly wikipedia, I saw what a great guy he was, and even if his name may not be worldly known, at least his work is. You heard it, 99% sure. The theme from Superman, from Indiana Jones, from Star Wars, E.T., Jaws and many others. His contribution to the music/film industry should be nothing less than an inspiration for the new artists to do a more than best job.
Like the song ends:
"John Williams is the man!"
Do you wish to have your name into history? Then do something to deserve, and when you do... don't stop!

Dreams from the Realm of Impossible.
Dreams, are they just impossible things we want in life?
I am one to believe that dreams are just a goal we set for ourselves to keep us going.
But I find myself often daydreaming about things that I am mostly certain that will NEVER happen.
That girl that would never waste a day with you, coming and just sleep on you lap from the gentle caress in her hair.
That friend who almost never calls you, takes the phone and calls you for the weekend in his house.
What to do if you won the lottery.
What if back then she had said it differently.
People say that wondering what could have been is a bad thing. That it holds your life back. But then again, I don't respect most people's opinion. Besides, I've seen so many people making the same mistakes over and over, they could learn a bit from their own past if they only looked.
This world is too big. Even there being too many humans, this world is too big for anything to be done.
We can't see the whole world, even if we can trick ourselves into satisfaction.
We can't meet everyone, there is just not enough time, and each person you meet means someone is dying and therefore one less to meet, at the same time many people are born, meaning MORE people to meet.
We can't play every game, see every movie, read every book, listen to every music and so on.
Of course. That only means we have to enjoy every moment of our lives. Hehehe, now I sound just like those motivational speakers.
But like anyone, all we want is to experience things that makes us feel good, that is, being happy.
And according to the first Law of Murphy, most of the times that won't happen, (excluding those people who actually manage to pull it). So it is perfectly natural to wonder what if it DID go the way you wanted.
What if he/she said yes instead of no.
This thought may have passed through the head of about 80% of the world population. Of course, where I study we have the saying the all statistical figures are made right on the spot, therefore meaning nothing, but I find it accurate enough for my argument here.
I take some pleasure to imagine what my life would be if things were different. I learn a lot about myself that way.
I've seen some people talk with regret about their past. I would lie if I said I didn't do that. But I've learned a long time ago not to grow regret, because it only makes you feel bad about things you can't change.
It is a new world.
Sometimes we fail to realize this, but we made so many choices along our lives. They are from the simple second you took to go after someone, to what you said that moment that you could have said better.
Each time you take a decision, or fail to take one, your life goes down one path. There are so many paths left behind. So many great paths. Many of them were not just up to you, but they were possible at one moment.
Some paths are special to us. We treasure them, and many times we dream about them. These special treasures are usually related to our young dreams. Should we abandon them? No. But we can never get too attached to something too far from our every day life.
Just work to get on the path you want, and never forget how your dreams are important.
Spend some time once a month, to see your past choices, and to plan your next action to get on course.
Never say you didn't have a choice. You had, many. And never despair, you'll always have many choices to make.
So many what ifs...

A Small Talk in the Dark
- I know I shouldn't react like this anymore. But somethings are out of my power to control. - said the young boy tossing a stone into the lake.
- We've all been there. What to do? You can always leave forever, but is that a feasible solution? - replied the girl next to him gazing into the lake, and observing the clashing ripples in the water.
The boy stood up and walked towards the lake. He stopped and just looked the reflection of the moon in the water. A few seconds latter the ripples arrived scrambling the image he observed, as thus breaking his trail of thoughts and spilling it over his voice.
- I don't want to run away, I liked what I had. If only I didn't feel this way I could enjoy it. Instead of that I feel more and more split apart.
- Sure, you don't want to see anyone, at least not anyone who is capable of hurting you, but on the other hand you don't want to be alone.
- No one wants.
- Agreed. - she said getting up silently - So you need someone who wants to be with you. - and saying that she rushed to shove him into the lake.
He tried to avoid falling by stepping into the water, but on the third step the water resistance made him lose his balance, and so he fell into the water.
She stood there near the lake, just giggling. He rose from the water, his clothes completely soaked, sticking to his body, his hair somewhat muddy and falling in his face. He took some water off his face and opened his eyes directly at her.
- What the hell?
She laughed a bit.
- Yeah you're right, I should go after someone who wants to be with me. You want to be with me right? - he said looking deeply towards her, and walking near her. She kept giggling but started to back up a bit - So come her and give me a hug.
She turned around to run, but she was stopped by a hand firmly holding her wrist. He pulled her near him and grappled her. He started to drag her to the lake, she struggled a bit.
- No, don't even think about it.
- What, you don't want to be with me? Ok then, - he said turning around and holding her in front of him with the lake behind her - you can just sit with the fish.
Her eyes opened wide as he held her shoulders and pushed her into the lake. She went directly down, without trying to keep her balance, but tried to soften the fall with her hands. She splashed into the water, but as she fell sitting part of her didn't get wet. Part of her knee, hair and from the breasts up didn't get much soaked as the rest of her, they just got sprinkled with some of the splashing water.
He went back to the tree, took off his shirt and tried to get his chest dry.
- You're mean! - she said in a childish but yet giggly voice. Then she got up and walked near him.
- Oh sorry, maybe I should have stayed wet while you were dry.
She just smiled at him. They didn't say anything for about half a minute.
- You know, it is not about what could have been. If it didn't go the way you wanted, just try to make the best out of your new situation.
- Sure. - he looked down - But eventually I'll get tired of things not going how I would like. It's just so many good opportunities wasted just because people don't see things as I do.
- I know it's hard to find someone who has so much in common with you. That's why so many people end up never getting married.
- And it's not even about love in my case.
- But it's still hard. - she said putting her left hand in his arm, and her right hand in his left hand.
- Yes. I just thought that I would find a place where I could identify myself to people, and would therefore find someone. But I end up with the person who has most in common with me is the one who came into my life the most randomly.
- The usual when you least expect right? But there are other who care about you.
- Sure, they just don't have enough time to spend with me, or very little in common.
- And those who do have the time and same interests, just lack the perception of friendship you have, and therefore they don't do the simple things you would like them to.
He sat on the tree once again. Silence held for some time. The mud in the lake feel silently into the ground, clearing the water as the ripples just faded. She sat by his side. A group of ducks swum nearby, eventually diving to wet their heads, or do whatever ducks do that for.
- Even with the occasional arguing, and the pushing into the lake, this is much better. Having someone who is not running around constantly doing things, never stopping to talk with you, or spend a day without worries, just a day to relax, is good. Like this.
- You lead a very calm life, sure of what you want to do with it. Too bad you're doing it alone. Many people prefer to have a busy life. But occasionally you'll find someone who can do this with you more often. I guess it's only a matter of finding someone who likes you, and has this kind of time.
- You know that's not enough. But from this point I would be too picky to ask more right?
- Well, each person has it's own demands about life. Most ignore them, but if you pay attention closely you'll see...
- That everyone is picky about something, and for some reason they still manage to get what they want.
- Yep.
- I wonder...
Silence fell again.
- Yes, don't worry. You'll find someone in your life that is like in your dreams. Just lay down a little on your simple hopes of people changing and being nice to you, or doing things you would like them to. Spare yourself.
- Yeah, it's their loss right?
- Heh, maybe. You just don't deserve to suffer for people who are not concerned about you.
- No one does. No one should.
- But humans like to suffer. Hehehehe.
- That they do.
The night went silent. The few stars in the sky blinked endlessly. The lights on the streets kept the place just lit enough to see around. They wrapped their arms around each other to keep their bodies warm.
"This is nice. This is what I want. Support, understanding." - he thought.
She smiled.