The Edge Between Extremes.
There is a place, some weird and uncharted place, where extremes meet. Not any extreme, the most common one, happiness versus sadness.
This place, is kind of a fluke, you don't realize when you enter it of even when you leave it. This place, has a thin line, commonly seen in many different places, where two different states are separated only by this line. The difference here is that you have states with such a difference, where they would normally have many states in between and that much lines dividing them.
So I know not how I got there, or how (if) I got out, but there was I.
When I saw that scene, classic happy ending, at the same time I felt that empty feeling like that same ending was missing in my life. So process took me to a familiar place, the tear filled eyes.
As the tears feel, the pain and sadness collided with the warmth of the happy ending, among the chaotic breathing, with the classic running nose, I was crying because I was happy, AND because I was sad.
This, my people, is truly confusing.
Maybe there are more lines between extremes, but this one I've seen in person.

The Beauty of Death
What do you think about death?
If you ask any person on the street, around you, a friend or just someone you know, good chances are that the answer will be around "death is bad, I don't want to die"
Of course people don't want do die, and those who want usually try to kill themselves. Eventually there will be people who will say they don't care, that life is bad, that they look forward to death. This can be because killing oneself is not as simple as the will to die, and of course many people who "look forward to death" will cower when time comes to meet the grim reaper.
Some say death is part of life. Well, if you live you'll die, hence they are intrinsically connected. But even if we know well die someday, people fear death like it is the weirdest thing in life, like they didn't know it was coming. This is strange to me in someway.
Life, as much as people generally like to live, is not even close to fair... and so while some people seem to get everything they want, some seem to be cursed to fail at anything that might make them happy. Some people, I believe, really do have nothing to live for, this leads to one powerful but sad thing, they do not fear death. Like a movie once joked, you don't have to fear a man afraid to die, you have to fear the one who is NOT afraid to die.
Some people live, but aware that they'll eventually die, and they enjoy every single moment of life because someday they won't be able to do so anymore. I guess this philosophy is a great one.
But that is not the seven headed hydra that they say around it. Death, as much as life is part of something really beautiful, just look around nature. Many people have understood this, death brings life, from death the most beautiful things grow, and they one day will die, this cycle remains constantly bringing this awesome flow into the universe.
If you've seen some good dramas, you probably have seen another great thing about death. People are unusually true to their nature around death, be it the one who lie to get his ass out of it, or the one will joke around because they have no respect for death or the one who cries desperately because they find death to be the ultimate tragedy. And for this same reason deaths brings out one good thing... literally a good one. People, usually, are "gooder" when in the face of death. When someone close to you is dying you treat him/her better. When someone died, people arise to comfort those suffering from the tragedy. And of course, my personal favorite, when one dies, this legion of people, friends, family, co-workers, people from old days, they all appear, sometimes as if from nowhere, to say everything they didn't say because they are (I apologize for this) stupid. They come to pay respect, they come to show sympathy, they come to regret their bad-timed words, their unspoken voice the not getting to know one better. Of course, those who feel the backlash of death suffer, and my sympathy goes to them. I believe in this moment arises a kind of unique opportunity, not that anyone will take it, but this may be the time for some people to reflect, upon their own life, are they happy, are they treating everyone fairly any question about life. This can, and probably will, lead to personal growth.
Dealing with death is always hard, but life is not easy, why should death be?! But there may be important consequences in death. If you have an encounter with the reaper and survive, just think about your life, don't take such event for granted. In the same fashion, if you know someone who is dying, observe, talk with him/her get to know the life of someone who has not the luxury of changing his/her own fate. See what motivates them in their life, the rest of it. This may prove to be enlightening to you.
Death is here to show us what really matters. And it is important to know what makes you wake up the next day. Why do you live?!
My personal advice, if you have nothing to live for, DON'T look for death, it will find you when the time is right. Until then, live on doing something you find important, even if it's not something that will make you wake up the next day, but you may change people's lives to the best, and maybe in the process find something that makes you want to see the next day.
And remember, honor the dead, those who are dying and death itself.

Energy Waves
- You remember when we were little, we used to play around with our energies all the time.
- But that's because we were hyperactive children. Grown people don't just spread energy waves around for no reason.
- Yeah, but grown people also do many stupid things, so... they're not the best model for this comparison. But still, energy waves can be felt all around, even without expanding it, or actively using it. They are part of our "personality".
- But there are those who can conceal their energy.
- Yes, I should know. - he grimed - But they are not a majority and neither do they conceal their auras all the time.
- So you believe these auras, even if we don't consciously try to track, we feel and our response changes accordingly to other people's energy?
- Mainly. It would explain more things than thinking it is wrong.
- Like what?
- Well too many things to keep us here more time than we should. But I could exemplify one more evident.
They turned the chairs in which they were sitting to face each other. The place was a bit more crowded than usual, so the noise was covering most they were saying. So mainly no one was paying attention to them.
- See people here?! Well, they all seem to be talking to someone they know. But why do people talk with others?! You probably wondered about this. Most of these people had no reason at all to be together this day. Hell, we didn't have a reason to be friends.
- We didn't?
- Well, think about the things in common. We have some great things, but mostly we are completely different. So are most people. What binds them... energy waves.
- No wait, there are many reasons to be together with someone, even if you have nearly nothing in common.
- Agreed. But still, you probably know a lot of nice people. What stops you from being with them all the time, and getting to know them better? People eventually know much more people than they actually pass time with. And some of them surely are great people. But study akin to numerology and astrology, but lacking the precision of the former and the success of the latter. still, they lack something that allows this binding. This is the same with love at first sight. Or why some people arouse others' curiosity while others don't. This all happens because at some point they got together, for some random and unimportant reason, and as their energy waves were proper for them to want to get to know each other. This sudden interest, in someone you don't know has no logical reason. But it happens somehow. I can only give it to energy waves.
- Well, it does have no logical explanation.
- Yep. I realized this a long time a go, when I looked around my classmates and even though many of them were cool, some very nice people, some very beautiful, some with many interests in common with me, I had no special interest in becoming better friends with them. But for some reason, I wanted to meet some very random people from my class, or friends of my friends, even though they seemed not interested in me, some treated me with disdain, or just ignored me. Some I've become very good friends despite the odds. That can only be due to our matching energy waves.
- Probably.
- Likewise, even if you have such an affinity for someone, if they don't have the same feeling for you, the relationship probably won't work, at least not on the long run.
- I think that happens more often then the first case.
- Hehehe, I agree. This is a strange part of things. But remember when you see someone that interests you for no apparent reason, there are things there that may turn this person in one of the best you've ever met.

Memory Check List
Recently I realized how weird my memory is. Well, at least I realized a new level I didn't perceive before.
I had a tendency to forget things I told myself to remember over and over. Like those things you remember that you must do the next day, and say to yourself, don't forget, but when it comes to it you never remember it. But I got used to, important things I sometimes send an e-mail to myself as a reminder, sometimes I focus really hard and kind of "save" in my memory what I had to do, so I keep remembering from time to time.
This saving things in the memory leads to something I can only describe as memory check list. You brain thinks all the time, even when you don't realize it (probably not during your sleep, who knows), but it is hard to keep it thinking on the right track. So I think we have a part of your memory destined to check up things. Important things eventually end up there and so when your brain wonders off in random thoughts it sometimes glimpses at this check list sees if there is some upcoming pending important thing to do.
Have you ever remembered something kind of urgent on your way home, just out of nowhere when thinking about something completely unrelated? So that would be the function of this check list.
But as any list it requires maintenance. You can't remember everything after all.
So what I came to realize is that I have a bug in my maintenance function.
I had something important I had to do, simple, like warning someone about something. I was waiting for the opportunity to do it, so from time to time I checked if I could do it. Eventually an event occurred so I didn't have to do anything anymore. But still, I check about 6 times if I could do the thing I had to do but didn't have to do anymore. Then I went to bed and reset the check list.
It was kind of annoying saying to myself for the sixth time, you don't have to check this anymore, so stop wasting your time. Instinctively I went to check for something I didn't need anymore, even though I knew I didn't need to check. But this check list access is so fast, that it goes and does not warn the rest of the memory, resulting in unprocessed actions.
Weird huh?
I've done this several times, but only really registered it recently.
My memory is one of the worst I know.
I wonder if these things happen to others as well.

Attached Memories
Sit.
Wait.
Stop.
Breath.
Listen.
Listen well.
what does is remind you?
this familiar song. It carries so many memories.
Great ones.
You don't need to do something great over again to feel the same feeling.
All you need is to sit.
Listen. Listen well. This song was a mark in time, it has ALL the feelings you need with it.
Songs & Memories. A very powerful duo.
All you need is to listen.
Stop.
Sit.
Listen.