Shimmering Limits
It seems as I've wondered near my limits.
It's not that limit all know so well between good and evil. It's a strange place. Deep within the darkness, following the very dark blue lights you come to a place very isolated. The sound of a nearby waterfall fills the air, the smell of wet flowers and the mix of fear are all around me. There is little light mostly coming from the ground. The sky seems brown, but it's so dark up there it is hard to tell, there are some occasional lightning bolt crossing it. On the ground several lines cross. The emit a very faint white, blue light. But they don't seem to be crossing altogether, they are.... they.... they are shimmering.
These lines, they mark the limit. Limit between lots of things, where love turns to hate, where sanity ends, where you take decisions opposed to your own preferences. Thats why they are not still, because limits have thin boundaries, that are unclear.
As I stand there, where the crossing lines oscillate from one side to another, I find my own will to be doubtful. There is also a voice a heard recently, that seems to reverberate with the same feeling as me, at least in part. What do I want? I can't seem to find something I really want, that is, I know what my heart wants, but I know not if it now will make me happy.
I don't was has happened. I've just been walking, lately I haven't been alone, at least not physically, but it somehow drove me to will being completely alone. Maybe it is just a reaction to being constantly surrounded by people and feeling so apart from them, not personal connection.
I've know I was different for a long time, but never have I felt so left out. Standing in the limit is making me confused, this time I think I wandered too far.
So against my normal way, I think being alone is best, even if I wish I had someone by my side. I guess, what I really wish for, is someone who is a little more like me, someone who wants my by his/her side. Of course, maybe this is just because of that little voice I heard. I'd just like more meaningful relationships. Hehehe, or I just miss having a good game to play.
Well, since I'm here, might as well enjoy it. Let's sit there by that tree, and rest a little, by the sound of running water. Such peace.