New Year.
As the celebration of a time passage. The celebration of challenges passed, of battles fought and the hopes of a better time ahead.
Well, since I was little I knew that the next year would always hold more difficult challenges. I have beem saying "Last year was so much better than this one, I was happy and didn't appreciate it.", of course if you have a troubled time, when you feel at the botton of the pit you always think "Well it can't get worse.", so you wait for a better year and live shows its neverending ability to break the limits.
Of course some people have better years, I guess it all balances out in the end.
I just survived through 2005, I was not a matter of having a good year, it was about living to see 2006, not that I have any particular reason to want to see the future, at least not any other than to feed my hopes of living a happy life.
Even feeling like 2006 couldn't be worse, I know that it could be a lot worse.
This year I had to deal with more than my soul was ever prepared. The complicated relationship I hold with everyone, the friends trying to get closer, the pain of a blow that hit inside my defences, inside my body, and made my soul bleed as never before, the challenge of college and the trembling failure face my troubles, the distance of one of my greatest entertainements... the RPG, the face of many unhappy friends, the tears of my friends that torn my heart, the lonely time, the moments crying, the moments I was ignored, the pain if have caused, the shameful birthday, so many deceptions and the loss of love...
This year I have done some interesting things. I have survived a semester with 32 hours of class per week, I have finished many games, I have tried out in new RPG systems, I discovered some funny comics, and started to buy some others, got to know some new people better, I saw some of my friens go away, I discovered some interesting facts about some friens, I went with my friends two times to my aunts coutryhouse, I went along in Bohemias drinking circuit, I played an official Super Smash Bros Melee tournament(even if I lost), I started a project with my friends to make an RPG and a racing game(even if they seem a little discouraged at this time), I got closer to a dear friend of mine(even if we grew apart lately), I helped some friends, I tried to make some friends laugh(and come times succeeded) and I discovered a new level of love, one I didn't think could be possible and one I am proud to have felt.
I think I left 2005 stronger than ever, even if at this moment two thirds of my soul are "dead". I hope I can find the energy to put this new strengh to use.
I expect nothing from 2006, I just have a little bit of hope that life will take some time to make me happy, but it is just hope, I am preparing to face the new worst year of my life, I just hope to be overpreparing.
I will try and do better this year. I will try to gather some energy so I can try to make my friends life better, make them happier. I wish my friends have the best year of their lives, I hope everyone of them finds happiness. My special wishes of happiness for those special friends who deserve, those who make the lives of everyone near them better.
As for me, the battle goes on. I just hope to find the happiness in the caring arms of someone, someone that will keep me fighting, and will fight by my side.
May this year bring new battles and more challenges, may this year make me stronger, may it lead to happier times. May this year make your life perfect as you deserve it. May this year solidify our relationships.
Wishes of happy lives to everyone, and
"Save the cows, they roll low on fortitudes" ~ Thomas ~
"My sword to bring you happiness, your live to make me fight" ~ Maelstron, fallen ~
"Smile it makes everyone near you happy, trust me" ~ Maxim, fallen ~