Human?
I am starting to think I am not human... it is just not feasible to exist such a prime difference between me and humans.
I always had evil toughts, just like anyone else I think, but opposed to what I hoped for, I seem to be one of the few rare people that fight against these toughts. Not that I can get rid of them, just that I wish they never happen and usualy feel bad when they do. It just deeply hurts my hopes to see that people actually enjoy seeing others misery, even if it is on an fictional world.
I do believe that my friends are good people, I think the best of them, but sometimes(like now) I fear that I know no one(or maybe one or two) that is really good, most seem selfinvolved, selfish or just sadistic.
So what, I am bitching about human kind here, just because I have had a few bad days. Not that it gives me the right to bitch around, but the problem resulting from this is that I am losing faith in human kind... in peace... in love... and sadly, in friendship.
I just never have been so much time away from people that were actually caring. I really miss having someone to talk about life, someone that would really give me hope, hope in humans, and in firends. I see so many people online, and only a few talk to me, but they rarely give me any support. I just wish someone would take me away from the crowd and make me smile again.
I gather hope from every funny chat, from every little thing I can, but at some point, hope will become really hard to find on my own.