The Edge Between Extremes.
There is a place, some weird and uncharted place, where extremes meet. Not any extreme, the most common one, happiness versus sadness.
This place, is kind of a fluke, you don't realize when you enter it of even when you leave it. This place, has a thin line, commonly seen in many different places, where two different states are separated only by this line. The difference here is that you have states with such a difference, where they would normally have many states in between and that much lines dividing them.
So I know not how I got there, or how (if) I got out, but there was I.
When I saw that scene, classic happy ending, at the same time I felt that empty feeling like that same ending was missing in my life. So process took me to a familiar place, the tear filled eyes.
As the tears feel, the pain and sadness collided with the warmth of the happy ending, among the chaotic breathing, with the classic running nose, I was crying because I was happy, AND because I was sad.
This, my people, is truly confusing.
Maybe there are more lines between extremes, but this one I've seen in person.

The Beauty of Death
What do you think about death?
If you ask any person on the street, around you, a friend or just someone you know, good chances are that the answer will be around "death is bad, I don't want to die"
Of course people don't want do die, and those who want usually try to kill themselves. Eventually there will be people who will say they don't care, that life is bad, that they look forward to death. This can be because killing oneself is not as simple as the will to die, and of course many people who "look forward to death" will cower when time comes to meet the grim reaper.
Some say death is part of life. Well, if you live you'll die, hence they are intrinsically connected. But even if we know well die someday, people fear death like it is the weirdest thing in life, like they didn't know it was coming. This is strange to me in someway.
Life, as much as people generally like to live, is not even close to fair... and so while some people seem to get everything they want, some seem to be cursed to fail at anything that might make them happy. Some people, I believe, really do have nothing to live for, this leads to one powerful but sad thing, they do not fear death. Like a movie once joked, you don't have to fear a man afraid to die, you have to fear the one who is NOT afraid to die.
Some people live, but aware that they'll eventually die, and they enjoy every single moment of life because someday they won't be able to do so anymore. I guess this philosophy is a great one.
But that is not the seven headed hydra that they say around it. Death, as much as life is part of something really beautiful, just look around nature. Many people have understood this, death brings life, from death the most beautiful things grow, and they one day will die, this cycle remains constantly bringing this awesome flow into the universe.
If you've seen some good dramas, you probably have seen another great thing about death. People are unusually true to their nature around death, be it the one who lie to get his ass out of it, or the one will joke around because they have no respect for death or the one who cries desperately because they find death to be the ultimate tragedy. And for this same reason deaths brings out one good thing... literally a good one. People, usually, are "gooder" when in the face of death. When someone close to you is dying you treat him/her better. When someone died, people arise to comfort those suffering from the tragedy. And of course, my personal favorite, when one dies, this legion of people, friends, family, co-workers, people from old days, they all appear, sometimes as if from nowhere, to say everything they didn't say because they are (I apologize for this) stupid. They come to pay respect, they come to show sympathy, they come to regret their bad-timed words, their unspoken voice the not getting to know one better. Of course, those who feel the backlash of death suffer, and my sympathy goes to them. I believe in this moment arises a kind of unique opportunity, not that anyone will take it, but this may be the time for some people to reflect, upon their own life, are they happy, are they treating everyone fairly any question about life. This can, and probably will, lead to personal growth.
Dealing with death is always hard, but life is not easy, why should death be?! But there may be important consequences in death. If you have an encounter with the reaper and survive, just think about your life, don't take such event for granted. In the same fashion, if you know someone who is dying, observe, talk with him/her get to know the life of someone who has not the luxury of changing his/her own fate. See what motivates them in their life, the rest of it. This may prove to be enlightening to you.
Death is here to show us what really matters. And it is important to know what makes you wake up the next day. Why do you live?!
My personal advice, if you have nothing to live for, DON'T look for death, it will find you when the time is right. Until then, live on doing something you find important, even if it's not something that will make you wake up the next day, but you may change people's lives to the best, and maybe in the process find something that makes you want to see the next day.
And remember, honor the dead, those who are dying and death itself.

Energy Waves
- You remember when we were little, we used to play around with our energies all the time.
- But that's because we were hyperactive children. Grown people don't just spread energy waves around for no reason.
- Yeah, but grown people also do many stupid things, so... they're not the best model for this comparison. But still, energy waves can be felt all around, even without expanding it, or actively using it. They are part of our "personality".
- But there are those who can conceal their energy.
- Yes, I should know. - he grimed - But they are not a majority and neither do they conceal their auras all the time.
- So you believe these auras, even if we don't consciously try to track, we feel and our response changes accordingly to other people's energy?
- Mainly. It would explain more things than thinking it is wrong.
- Like what?
- Well too many things to keep us here more time than we should. But I could exemplify one more evident.
They turned the chairs in which they were sitting to face each other. The place was a bit more crowded than usual, so the noise was covering most they were saying. So mainly no one was paying attention to them.
- See people here?! Well, they all seem to be talking to someone they know. But why do people talk with others?! You probably wondered about this. Most of these people had no reason at all to be together this day. Hell, we didn't have a reason to be friends.
- We didn't?
- Well, think about the things in common. We have some great things, but mostly we are completely different. So are most people. What binds them... energy waves.
- No wait, there are many reasons to be together with someone, even if you have nearly nothing in common.
- Agreed. But still, you probably know a lot of nice people. What stops you from being with them all the time, and getting to know them better? People eventually know much more people than they actually pass time with. And some of them surely are great people. But study akin to numerology and astrology, but lacking the precision of the former and the success of the latter. still, they lack something that allows this binding. This is the same with love at first sight. Or why some people arouse others' curiosity while others don't. This all happens because at some point they got together, for some random and unimportant reason, and as their energy waves were proper for them to want to get to know each other. This sudden interest, in someone you don't know has no logical reason. But it happens somehow. I can only give it to energy waves.
- Well, it does have no logical explanation.
- Yep. I realized this a long time a go, when I looked around my classmates and even though many of them were cool, some very nice people, some very beautiful, some with many interests in common with me, I had no special interest in becoming better friends with them. But for some reason, I wanted to meet some very random people from my class, or friends of my friends, even though they seemed not interested in me, some treated me with disdain, or just ignored me. Some I've become very good friends despite the odds. That can only be due to our matching energy waves.
- Probably.
- Likewise, even if you have such an affinity for someone, if they don't have the same feeling for you, the relationship probably won't work, at least not on the long run.
- I think that happens more often then the first case.
- Hehehe, I agree. This is a strange part of things. But remember when you see someone that interests you for no apparent reason, there are things there that may turn this person in one of the best you've ever met.

Memory Check List
Recently I realized how weird my memory is. Well, at least I realized a new level I didn't perceive before.
I had a tendency to forget things I told myself to remember over and over. Like those things you remember that you must do the next day, and say to yourself, don't forget, but when it comes to it you never remember it. But I got used to, important things I sometimes send an e-mail to myself as a reminder, sometimes I focus really hard and kind of "save" in my memory what I had to do, so I keep remembering from time to time.
This saving things in the memory leads to something I can only describe as memory check list. You brain thinks all the time, even when you don't realize it (probably not during your sleep, who knows), but it is hard to keep it thinking on the right track. So I think we have a part of your memory destined to check up things. Important things eventually end up there and so when your brain wonders off in random thoughts it sometimes glimpses at this check list sees if there is some upcoming pending important thing to do.
Have you ever remembered something kind of urgent on your way home, just out of nowhere when thinking about something completely unrelated? So that would be the function of this check list.
But as any list it requires maintenance. You can't remember everything after all.
So what I came to realize is that I have a bug in my maintenance function.
I had something important I had to do, simple, like warning someone about something. I was waiting for the opportunity to do it, so from time to time I checked if I could do it. Eventually an event occurred so I didn't have to do anything anymore. But still, I check about 6 times if I could do the thing I had to do but didn't have to do anymore. Then I went to bed and reset the check list.
It was kind of annoying saying to myself for the sixth time, you don't have to check this anymore, so stop wasting your time. Instinctively I went to check for something I didn't need anymore, even though I knew I didn't need to check. But this check list access is so fast, that it goes and does not warn the rest of the memory, resulting in unprocessed actions.
Weird huh?
I've done this several times, but only really registered it recently.
My memory is one of the worst I know.
I wonder if these things happen to others as well.

Attached Memories
Sit.
Wait.
Stop.
Breath.
Listen.
Listen well.
what does is remind you?
this familiar song. It carries so many memories.
Great ones.
You don't need to do something great over again to feel the same feeling.
All you need is to sit.
Listen. Listen well. This song was a mark in time, it has ALL the feelings you need with it.
Songs & Memories. A very powerful duo.
All you need is to listen.
Stop.
Sit.
Listen.

The Last Best Thing: Games
What was your last best game? What was the last game you played that made you feel like that was the best game in the whole history? Not the best game you've ever played, I'm asking about a game you played and think it deserves the tittle of best of games.
You see, it's impossible to determine what is the best game. Even among each category it is hard.
But in your life, (you who played enough), probably came upon a game that meant so much to you, that you faithfully believe it's the best game of all time.
One game you've played many times. One which you never get tired of. The one you recommend to all your friends.
Games, just like anything in life, can be a simple waste of time, but can also be one of the most valuable experiences in one's life. Just like a movie, it can have the perfect music to reflect the characters feelings. Just like a book, it can have the perfectly placed words that make you live the story of the book. Just like a painting, it can have a image, even if crude, that is worth all the words possible to describe the scene. Just like anything you interact in your life, you can relate to it, to the characters' desires, wishes, battles, feelings, code of conduct, style and so on.
Have you seen a game like this? Not necessarily perfect, not like this description, but a game you'd like to call the best.
And finally, if you know any game like this, what was the last game you played that felt like this?
Interestingly, I've chosen many games because of their style, name or just at random. But there is one game. I entered the store, not a big or famous one. My father was with me. I was very young. I wanted a famous game, that I thought would be interesting. They had none, or at least I did not find them. So I went for genre. Role Playing Games.
This one caught my attention. Simple name. Second in it series. Thought they did not have the first. Promised many things. Had very interesting new things. "The Ultimate Role Playing Game!" it said on the back. For some reason I believed it.
I was in the U.S. so I did not have my console with me, so I had to wait the whole trip before I got to play it. I read the manual, the box, anything. I got each time more and more anxious about it. I grew greater expectations by the day. And I'm proud to say it lived up to my expectations.
The games was original, had new interesting stuff, good graphics (for its time), great puzzles, great history, well developed characters and great soundtrack.
Well, this is the game that marked my life as the best game. I do say there are many games around this tittle, and probably this one is not even near the tittle, but in my concept this was the best game I ever played.
So if you have any interest. If you don't mind playing 2D games with sprites. If you have the time. If you like RPG. I'd say try it, with an open mind.
The name is Lufia 2: Rise of the Sinistrals. The Last Best Game I've ever played.

A Digging Dream
At your bed.
At night.
Struggling with cold.
Really really cold.

Winter is there.
You lay there curled.
Under piles of blankets.
Hugging your pillow.

You feel comfortable.
You breath heavily.
Your lungs request more air.
But you feel like not moving.

You start to drowse.
Breathing is not your focus.
Your mind at random thoughts.
Until it goes blank.

Time passes.
Dreams randomly in your mind.
Time really passes.
But then you have a dream.

One significant enough to remember.
A girl, a hug with tears and a talk.
Simple, but meaningful.
Your heart pumped stronger.

The dream of something,
You wish had happened long ago.
Probably the last time you had hope.
The last time your heart beat like this.

You regain conscientiousness.
Everything is dark.
Alone under the blankets.
Isolated from the cold.

You think about it.
Your heart feels young.
But it tells you the grim message.
You no longer wish this dream.

It was good as a dream.
Would have been good ages ago.
Now it would clash with anger.
So you go back to sleep.

Silent is the night.
Under the moonlight veil.
Surrounded by darkness.
Dreams are there to dig your old feelings.

Held by Thorn
Tum Tum!
It tried to find something to beat for, and found nothing.
Weird feeling of the pump for a reason, specially when it finds no reason.
Tum Tum...
it finds the tight rope of thorns holding it down.
it wonders about freedom.
Tum Tum,
will it ever find a new reason to tum?
will I ever find the peace I need to rest?
Tum?
I'm not in the mood for the other tum...

Age Differences
Have you ever looked back to see what were you like many years ago?
Many people wish they could go back in time and redo something in their lives.
I have this practice of thinking things I shouldn't have done, so I don't do them again. Of course I have to revisit whatever feeling I had at that time to understand why I did it.
So I glimpsed back. And realized how different I were. It's not that usual I was a geek now I'm a grown up. No, in fact, I'm still a geek =P.
Many year ago, and when I say many I mean about 95 years ago, there was I, a very shy boy with nothing better to do than video games. I was weak, never practiced any sports, or didn't like them. I wasn't social, knew few people, and was kind of hated by most. Being a geek like I was, I preferred to be at home, playing games, or playing with the few friends I had.
I was ashamed to do things. I feared what other people would think of me. I was raised believing in moral values, not being thought that I had a choice over them, and should choose the most appropriate moment to follow them. I was too timid to do things, so I kept out of other people's ways.
I had little knowledge, and little interest in expanding them.
I was different...
or should I say... I am different.
Now I have more confidence in my self. I have great awareness of my actions and their consequences. I choose without fear and go through it to the end.
I have my plans, great ones. Most will take a lot of effort, which I'm willing to do.
I have no shame about normal things, I have nearly no shame of my actions, and will talk about them freely if I wish.
I have much more knowledge, and there are many things which I still want to learn, and will in time.
I know lots of people, I have my group of friends from the RPG, and the college, we go out from time to time. And many other people I go out with.
Interestingly it seems strange to realize you've changed so much, even though you've been used to being like you are.
We still maintain traces of our childhood. Traces I believe to be unchangeable, eternal. Those traces unique to you, that no matter how much people may try or come close, they'll never have the same traces.
I might have been through a lot, and changed much more than I expected to. But on the good side, I'm much stronger. More than I ever imagined.
People change, fact.
But they do not necessarily change for the best.
I wonder how much will I change in the next years.
Do you?

The Woman in the Red Dress
The place is strange to me, I've never been here before, and probably wouldn't have come if it weren't for her unusual nagging.
Why did she make such a big deal about me coming here tonight, we could have gone to many other nice places without this kind of noise. Where is she? I thought she would have a table reserved for us. Like, what the hell is going on here?!
Maybe I got here first. She wanted to come in separate cars. It's nice for her to be independent, but sometimes I'd like to feel more useful, she could just spend this time with me, it wouldn't kill her.
This place is nice, despite the noise of course. It has many small round tables with thin chairs around them, the lights seem appropriate to talk with your friends about life. People occupy most of the tables, but some are still empty. Apparently two waiters seem to move from table to table picking orders and asking them to the bartender. At the bar, two people are preparing drinks, being one of them the link between the waiters and the kitchen, and the other the main cocktail master. There seem to be another person standing at the counter waiting to deliver the drinks.
People seem to be having fun, talking with each other. Even the few lonely people seem to be enjoying a calm night and having fun with their reading. I wonder how he can read under such dim light, maybe the light above him is enough.
Well, let me get a table for me.
Soft seat, this is good. The ambient music seem enjoyable too. Now that I'm closer to the other tables I can see some people playing card games. Strange thing for a place like this.
Well, I still haven't figured out what king of place is this. There is a piano in the stage at the end of the room. Doesn't seem to have much space to dance, so I'm taking this is a bar with live piano musics. I hope the pianist is good. I know she likes a soft cool music. Yeah, this must be why she wanted to come here, this place is like her, different but still classy. Of course, she seems more like the kind that goes to more agitated places, but this has a touch of her.
- Hi, can I get you something?
- Humm, get me cola, no ice or lemon.
- Ok, anything else?
- No thanks.
- I'll be right back.
Should I get something to eat? Well, I did eat late today, so I'm not hungry, but if she takes too long I'll get something just to nibble on.
- Here it is.
- Thank you.
The lights are fading. Where the hell is she? The performance is about to start.
A thin man enters the stage, all black outfit, he comes calmly and sits at the piano. People start to quiet down, the people playing cards stop their games, the people reading put down their books/papers. Silence takes place, darkness joins it.
The only light remaining is the one in the stage. But it's not at full power. Just enough for the pianist to read.
After one minute he finished stretching an put his hands into the piano. The song flowed with his fingers, gently, but firmly pressing each key, and producing the most soothing melody.
Damn it, she's going to miss it. Should I call her? But then I'll miss it too. Ok, there must be something wrong with her, I'll call her.
At that moment another spot light came to life. And a voice joined the song. A smooth voice, but strong. Amplified by the microphone she entered the stage from the left singing. The pianist was nows playing very low, giving space for the voice to lead the song.
The singer was thin, not too tall, about 1.70 meters, or something like that, with high heels.
Her hair was slightly curled, light brunet with some highlights, she wore no visible makeup, but she had the natural beauty that does not need it. She had the most beautiful smile, and sang very calmly, but you could feel her heart in every word she said.
She had this long, one piece, red dress, with a black design at at the breasts.
She kept singing for some time there, and when the time was right a string bass, and a violin joined the symphony, they came from each side and joined the piano. The created the most melodic back music to complete the voice singing those perfect lyrics.
For some reason, I could only think they were for me. They somehow spoke to my heart directly, they answered questions unsolved for years, they brought ease to the confusion in my heart, and all seemed so beautiful.
In the middle of the spectacle, she began to walk around the tables, not coming too close to each table, but passing happily near each one, but her eyes kept dancing around the room, eventually crossing with mine several times. The drums had joined the party too, appearing only slightly in the side when the curtains sled a bit open.
She stopped singing, giving room for the flute to come in and take on the main melody for some time. She then walked a bit more and went for the front of the stage, right in the center. She looked at me, raised the microphone to her mouth. She smiled.
I felt nervous, this was all too sweet, I felt too happy. I smiled back.
All instruments faded out gently, leaving the drums for an occasional beat check, just to keep the rhythm. She stepped forward taking a deep breath and sang again, without instruments filling, just her voice, her eyes, her walk and the only light in the place dimly following her around.
Those words, the words I vowed not to say out loud, not to reveal to anyone, the same words I've dreamed to hear one day, they came from her, specially to me, and took away every defense, barrier, stress, preoccupation, worries and sadness I had. Left me there, pure to feel how I'd once felt. How she seemed to feel.
She walked to me singing, she came closer, the instruments slowly seemed to return to the music, but I didn't realize it. My mind was on her voice, on her words. She touched my chest, and slid her hand over my shoulder to my hand. She pulled me up from the chair and kept singing looking into my eyes, just a foot away.
That was it, it could not get any more perfect.
From the moment the song ended I knew, I had no doubt, not about this. Not one of the ones that kept me company along many long years. I have no idea why those words have such effect, I've heard others that seem more fit to me, but for some reason, those words are the words I'd like to hear someone sing to me, and she did it.
That's why she didn't come with me, or explain anything. It wasn't to see a show with her, it was to see her perform. Perform to me.
That was all I needed to hear, and then I knew.

Traffic
40 minutes.
Two police cars.
One ambulance.
One tow truck.
All of them passing through me.
And in the end, no accident where I passed.
Damn those 40 minutes of traffic.

Intermission
The wooden main stage. There, illuminated by the spotlight. People phasing in and out of the stage.
Only one is there at all times. At least at this stage.
He walks around. In front of a crate he tries to push it. No use.
He walks away.
In front of a fence he tries to jump. Fails.
He gets up and cleans the dirt in his clothes.
He walks to a nearby tree. He glances beyond it. People are there. People who were on stage.
He blinks.
The weight of his eyelids is too much. He closes them.
The weight passes to his body.
Too heavy. Too...heavy.
He let go of his balance.
Right into the ground.
Tumpf.
The curtains goes down.
Intermission...

Personal Inspiration
Or what I mean is a inspiring person.
How many great things in the world were done with a person as inspiration.
Songs, Paintings, Sculptures, Bridges, Supercomputers, Buildings, Cars, Houses, etc.
You see, people don't do things without purpose. As sad as it may sound, it's true (from all I've ever seen). People may do things with no personal gain, just to feel better about themselves, or the world, as a retribution, just to do something random (because it is funny, it unwinds people), because they want something in return and many other more obvious reasons. But in the end, all is done for a reason.
But great things require and extra effort. So they need and extra reason. This, usually, turns out to be a special person. Hell, people usually say they would die for the someone special. At least that is what is portrayed in many different places. I'd say he/she has to be an extremely special person, or your life means not much. So, if you're willing to die for someone you're basically willing to do anything in your power (short from killing others, but this depends on your own values). That's when you decide you'll do a song for him/her or a painting, buy a car, build one, do fantastic things.
This is good, well it seems good at least. Just be careful not to become a fanatic, because this is destructive, to yourself, the special person, and many people near you.
I say sometimes, I believe that we are so technologically advanced because we do incredible things to impress others and sometimes make them happy, many times all this aiming at our own personal gain in the immediate future. Good for the rest of the world.
I had my share of personal inspirations. Some led me to go overboard sometimes just to steal a smile from a sad face, sometimes to make someone embarrassed because it was fun, and she would enjoy. So many things. I guess I'm only here because I have something that inspires me to go on. And maybe this dream will make me pass through great challenges. I'm sad that all inspiration I had in people faded... leaving only but admiration, respect. Few are the people whose simple daily acts would make me go on, just because there is someone out there trying hard enough to make me want to try harder. And I think I know none of them.
But I get my personal inspiration from people who do not exist, fictional people. People who fit into the description above. Even knowing they only live in movies, cartoons, game, I know that what they stand for represents a forgotten part of humanity, the part for which I would fight to death.
It may not be for people I know. It may be for people who do not exist. But my actions will go out to people who I believe can one day understand what it is that I fight for.
I've seen many different inspirations, many irrational, but it feels like ages since I last saw anyone going through hell for someone. It is as if people are thinking more about themselves than others lately. Is this true?
Did you people lost your own personal inspirations?

The Holy Place in Lost Woods
Not that I wish to compare, it's not even as grand as the holy place in lost woods, but if any of you played The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, you can remember that time you search through lost wood for the Master Sword, and when you first get there, you go upwards through this opening in the woods towards the altar where it lies. At that moment your path is crossed by numerous animals, small animals, that playfully pass in front of you as you go for the sword.
This simple act, these animals, they symbolize their thrust in you, and that you are truly the chosen one, the hero of courage. I find that one scene very beautiful, even though it's simple.
Interestingly enough this post was triggered when I was leaving my house today, the sun breaking through the clouds, the cold air, warming sunlight, all this in the condo I live in, and suddenly a sequence of birds flew in front of my car, just like the scene in lost woods. I somehow reminded me of that. I felt... I felt... important.
I know... my condo is nothing like lost woods, I don't want to compare both, lost woods is a sacred place to me. But it sometimes feels good to imagine you're important, you're a hero destined to grandeur. I know I'm not, at least it does not look like, even though I would love to be a hero.
I saw a hero die, I saw what it's like when a hero dies, and I think, that's the way to die. But this is for the next post.
For now, think of the moments where nature makes you feel like you're a part of a much greater plan, of this mystic world where you're a hero. Dream on... it's good sometimes.

Destruction
With the passing of the time wave, all barriers shattered, leaving but a weakened body behind, wounded deep in his soul.
You regain consciousness, you feel the pain that will now follow you around for sometime.
You admit to yourself you broke the bond you struggled so much to keep.
You feel the other side of another bond shaking upon realizing the bond has been loosened.
During a sneeze you fell the piercing pain through your chest, sign of all the strains in your muscles.
You traverse through a this city, you knew it long ago. It lies in ruins. Only the shadows of your past to tell stories about the horrors of your life.
Sadly, even among such destruction, you feel indifferent. You heart does not pump like it used to anymore.
Good? Bad? Both?
I wish things didn't happen the way they did. At least the events in the past few weeks didn't need to happen.
Why...

Time Attack
You have 10 seconds to read this question and answer it.
...
time!
You have 3 seconds to breath, time your swing and get it right.
...
time!
You have 2 seconds to see the ball, calculate it's trajectory and swing at the right time.
...
time!
You have .5 seconds to watch the hand moving and tilt your body in the right direction.
...
time!

You have two weeks to finish four tasks, and any other eventual tasks you may get.
...
BUT!!! you have this new thing you wanna play, so you want to use your "free" time to play it. How long will you be able to play?
...
not enough time!!!

Time is always a problem. Considering it measures the how long it takes to do things, and we want to do more things than we can, it eventually will show you how little time you have.
Interesting enough, I put things in my life as a priority queue, where things I HAVE to do go first, then things I have to do so I will have time to do things I want, then things I want, then things I can do latter with no extra trouble, then things I should do but don't need to. Inside each category there is some hierarchy. Many people work this same way, but most (I think) work differently.
So, what do you do when you want to get more time? Sleep less? I guess this is the most common answer.
The thing is... in the end... when you stop, if you do, you'll look back, at everything you've done. You'll think that you done a lot. But you feel that you missed something, something you probably skipped through with all the rushing, and feel tired and kind of sad. You'll wish you had dedicated more time to things you thought important. Or in some cases, you'll just resume rushing so you don't think about these things.
Doing lots of things can lead to great things, enables you to do more. But generally it has a harsh drawback. You end up neglecting yourself, taking less care of yourself than you should with all the time you spend worrying about other things.
Then you stop...
then you breath...
then you look...
then you fall...
That's when you lean over a wall, slide to the ground, and sit alone until you feel energy to keep on going.
Hoping someone will randomly cross near your wall and stop to take the time to talk with you, and give you back that which you lost on the way.
Hopefully...
or maybe it's just me.

The Inner Triad
The base, the foundation. Many religions, many cults, many ways of seeing the world have their own interpretation of the inner triad.
One should have a strong body to face his enemies.
One should know when, who and why he should face anyone.
One should have the will to face things through, never backing down.
Most people know this as the Body, Mind, Soul Triad. I believe there should, most definitely, be a balance between them, but I find that the triad is just a little off the axis with this triad, so I convinced myself that this triad revolves in another terms. Terms many people are familiar with.
Power, Wisdom and Courage.
Yeah, call me a ripoff.
Power, yes this relates to the body. It's NOT about strength, it's about the physical power of the person, and the world around he/she. Strength alone is weak, limited by the material by which one is made. Power on the other hand relates to one's sync with the physical world around him/her. This is the power to perceive physical objects and shape, transform them, use their own strength as one's own. It represents the power to apply your inner forces into the world, becoming more agile, more precise, stronger, more resistant and healthier. This should not be neglected, as your life, depends on your health and resistance. Many martial arts go after this balance with the world around you, realizing that strength alone will no prevail, one learns to use his/her enemy's power on his/her favor.
Wisdom, the one associated with the mind. People believe that studying will enhance this side. Well, I'm not one to say they are wrong, but I'll say that that is not just it. It's not just about how much you know, it's about how you understand the world in its true form. If you've ever paid any attention to two people fighting, you should have seen that they mainly have different opinion about the subject. Which one is right? Probably none. This is where wisdom shows itself, because wisdom is understanding the multiple points of view on something, specially when it involves yourself. Realizing how even simple actions affect the world around you, snowballing into greater consequences by the second, is something difficult, but without this perception, we cannot keep balance in our lives. The balance involves not affecting others people's lives in bad or unwanted ways. Wisdom can come from reading, but more importantly, it comes from observing and understanding, may it be a book, a movie, an old tale or even real life. Lack of wisdom, will eventually lead to bad decisions, and even regrettable comments.
Courage. Put your soul into it. This common sentence represents what courage is about. It may be related to the soul, because it is the force that drives you to do what you want. Courage is not about doing insane things without thinking, courage is closer to understanding your fears and overcoming them when needed. Courages is having the will to face something you have no power to win, or pushing yourself beyond your limits. Courage may resemble stupidity, but when it comes down to it, a courageous person will raise again and again, to fight for their believes, and for the sake of what really matters. Courage is important, without it one will never step up to the challenges, and won't try again upon failure. This may seem simple, but the sheer will to keep on going may move mountains.
This is a careful and delicate balance, very hard to achieve. But the basis to being strong person. This balance may break through almost every wall.
If you feel you lack anyone of these, do your best to find your equilibrium, if it is your will.

The life, the universe and everything

It's been like what? Ten years? more...
Last time I have no recollection of when it was, or where it was. What I recall is that my father took me there, and I was amazed buy the beauty of it, and mostly glad to hear that the Scorpio constelation is the one that resembles the most what it should resemble, a scorpion. I even memorized the disposition of the stars, though I have no idea where it is placed in the sky night. I have some trouble finding Antares...
I have some luck to live in a place a bit away from the metropolis, so I'm blessed with a mind blowing sky from time to time. Of course, I can't scape the fact that I live near a metropoli so the sky isn' t nearly as beautiful as it can be. This I'll never forget, some years ago, I went with my friends from college to this sporting event in another town, mainly a grand excuse to go drinking. On the way, just out of the interstate, we were on this very little road, an there were no light to be seen in any direction, only the headlights of the car... it was around 11:00 pm. So I stopped the car and turned off the lights. It took some time for us to adapt to the no-light situation. I got out of the car and my breathing stopped, paralized by the sight of the sky. Look at all those stars, about 100 times more stars than I'm used to see. Awesome.
Going back to topic. I went to the planetarium this weekend, and took another shot at seeing stars. this machine a very interesting projector, could generate grand images.
The session started with a general message about environment consciousness, the ones that say about preserving nature, and that we humans are recklessly using the natural resourcess of the planet. Then it went into space, talking about mithology and the stars, planets. It had some strange charts with lots of numerical data which I believe was needlessly confusing to any one who isn't studying math related colleges. It had some nice projections, but some very weak powerpoint like presentations.
Sadly, it didn't get into the sign constelations, it barely mentioned the greek constelations.
I like the sky, gazing upon infinity, remembering that in universal context I'm basicly nothing, a insignificant dot trying to life his life on his randomly placed planet.
All that matters is the beauty of it... and of course the good company.

~ The Adventurer Chronicle 25 ~
"... looked at it, and sat back.
- Well, ok. It was some years ago when I finished my training with Ofaristat, my master. I left there with no place to go, I had no objective, so I thought of something that would occupy me for some time, and probably would be beautiful. I went out to find the source of most pure energy in the world.
- I mean like one of those springs where lots of energy get concentrated? - Asked Artanis.
- Yes.
- But aren't those rare?
- That's what made searching for them so entertaining. I had many adventures during the time I spent searching. It was my chance to train what I've learned, and acquire some spells, and equipment. So after some months of searching I managed to find the fabled spring of most pure energy. It was strange and hard to find. Nature seemed to twist around it trying to hide it, so despite the huge amount of energy concentrated, I didn't feel it until a certain point. After some barrier of sort I could feel the energy, it was huge, it took me some time before I got adapted to so much energy and could walk again. Then I just searched a bit until I came upon a little clearing, with a pond in the middle. The pond emitted a strong glow that reflected in many colors on the trees. The pond had about 10 meters from side to side, but it seemed to have no bottom.
- Amazing! - the girls said to each other in a low voice.
- So, I didn't want to mix up impure energies so I took of my equipment and clothes and dove into the pond.
- Sure like you have the most pure energies. - mocked Cid.
- I did what I could. So, the water was perfect, in the lack of a better word. I've never felt so great. The energy seemed to flow with me, carrying me with it, and I felt part of the world. But something was not exactly right. The energy was incredibly pure, but it wasn't the purest energy there, so I looked around. After some time when I dove under water and looked around I saw a bright light deep down into the pond, the energy seemed to come from there. So I went up, got my air back and put on my wind inducer ring, - he said showing the simple green ring on his left hand - and created a bubble of air so I could breath under water. And dove deep into the pond.
Maelstron paused shortly and walked to a nearby rock. He took the sword and stabbed it into the rock.
- At first going down was kind of easy, but after sometime, as I got nearer to the light the flow of energy began to get to strong to go on, it was pushing me away. So I concentrated my energy and put a greater effort to go down a bit more. Some time latter I was close to the light, it was greater than I could see from the up there. I was trying to get past this place, but I could barely see anything let alone keep up against the flow of energy. Something caught my attention. There was something solid in there, maybe a rock to stand in, I tried to reach for it, and when I got near I notice a handle out there, from the rock, just like this. - he pointed to the sword's handle - But the light was so much I could see nothing more, so I used the handle to pull myself onto the rock. I held the handle with my two hands and stepped on the rock, the energy was immense so I had to hold on with all my strength. Even if my mind was focused on holding on, I felt happy, the energy was so pure, it was fantastic.
- So the sword was down there in the rock? - asked Selina.
- My attention turned to reality when I realized that the handle, even though it looked like made of stone, was indeed metallic. I trying touching things around there, but my senses were mostly numb from the mass energy, so I I tried to pull the thing out of the rock. I put all my energy into it, and when I was about exhausted I felt the handle loosen a bit. That was when this incredibly huge energy engulfed me in this bright light and I lost consciousness. When I woke up I was lying down in the clearing near my clothes and equips, and there was this sword in my hand still shinning a bit. I could..."
~ End of Part 25 ~

The Triple Triad
No, not the card game, even if the game is awesome.
This is a concept I've been fiddling for many years now. Like when they say you have to keep your mind and body at a balance.
This is what my "religion" believes to be the structure of balance. And since I have NO religion, this mainly is what I believe to the points needed to be balanced.
Is not about mind and body, it is about much more. There are four main axis of balance, being three parallel and one connecting them.
Hence the name, there are there (triple) axis to balance, each one having three things (triad) to balance. Once each axis is balanced, you have to balance them all.
I can't say what is to be achieved by all this balance. I think this balance is what makes one a good person, whatever good may mean. I could say that this balance is what gives one the power to overcome most challenges in life.
Why do we need balance?
Well, in nature we see the first law:
"The strong will survive and the weak shall perish" ~ Survival of the fittest.
If we observe, we see that each animal prays on the weakness of its enemy. I know we are probably the only species not to be threatened by another living being, (Of course we have diseases, but not the point), but even so, we can become better in some way by overcoming our weakness', right?
So, take a generic geek. During his life, he's prone to suffer for his lack of strength, or social skills. (if you have anyone of these, you're NOT the geek in the example)
Take the usual jock. He may have troubles in life, developing new skills, and studying due to lack of mind development. (Same goes here.)
Take the generic good looking girl. She has the jocks do the physical stuff for her, and the geeks do her homework, so she only gets her social skills trained. (Once again...)
Sure they may excel in their area. But a geek who knows how to socialize and practices sports, will have a better health and fun, and will be as good in the geeky department as any generic geek.
This is just to show how balance in life can improve it.
More on The Triple Triad soon. One Triad at a time.
" If qualities of Heaven are your desire,
Acquire wisdom and knowledge to take your mind higher.
If Earthly qualities are what you lack,
Train your body in the fields and prepare to attack.
When Heaven and Earth are opened together,
The perilous path will become righteous forever." ~ Naruto, ep 37.