The Sound

I hate it!
Every single thing...
I don't remember anymore if it was always like this.
Maybe it has been too long.
Maybe I always did hate it.
At first it might have sounded like a better solution.
Could have been just a delusional thought.
I was just trying to avoid worse fates.
I had seen what happened without them.
Maybe a long one could help control the fringe cases.
But my ability to access my surroundings only got worse with time.
One more just for precaution.
One more to save other from myself.....
one more to save me from others?
I don't know what I was thinking.
When I realized the situation had gotten out of hand, I had lost sight of any control.
Blind.... sharing this space with that sound.
Maybe I could take some time to recover here.
I should be safe....
ha!....
Hard to imagine I ever had the heart to chose a different path.
Don't think I could have fought through the potential pain.
Then again, never had I imagined things would change like this.
So many restraints.
Growing stronger in time.
Tighter in regret.
Shorter in fear.
Don't think I can break free.
But I keep trying.
And the sound indicates every shake.
Every clank reverberating with the fears meant to keep me in place.
This dark place, forgotten.
My only company these chains that I've created.
Now more mature than my capacity to remove them.
I hate the sound they make.
Every movement a constant remainder of the narrow path to thread.
Yet.....
I fear much more what the silence has to offer.

Everything Lost vs Lost Everything

 - "Come on Milla, we need to get home before it gets dark."
 - "But, that man looks so sad, shouldn't we do something?" - She replied pointing at the man sitting in the bench, near the fountain.
Her mother felt compelled to give proper attention to her child's plea, but was hesitant to be dragged into other people's lives. She looked at the man, staring blankly into the water, he barely moved, apart from his breathing and the single coin he kept rubbing between his index and thumbs.
She felt sad a first, she knew Malla was right, she should do something, but the more she looked at the coin, the more familiar this person seemed, until her brain connected the dots.
She grabbed the child's hand and turned to go away, pulling with enough force to frighten her.
 - "Wait, where are we... can't you do anything?" - She cried.
Amanda just walked, with a tear dropping from her eye, dragging her daughter until they are out of sight from the man, just after the corner and she stopped to wipe her face.
 - "Mom?"
 - "Dear, do you remember Vito?"
 - "Yes?" She answered somewhat confused.
 - "He lost everything last year in that accident, his family, his house, money, everything he had spent his life building."
 - "But that was not him!" She interrupted feeling uncomfortable from that sad story.
 - "True, but Vito didn't stop when he lost everything. He began using his time to make sure those kinds of accidents would never happen. He lost everything he had, but he still was filled with purpose, to help others, to do something. Sad as it was, Vito is living a normal life now. That man, " - she held Milla's hand stronger, but her hand was shaking, cold and sweaty. - " His name is Garid, and he had everything. But unlike Vito, things were not taken away from him, no event, no disaster. The only thing between him  and happiness was life itself. As years went by, people drifted apart from him, nothing he did helped, there was nothing to fight, no challenge to overcome, no reason to be more."
They stood there in silence for a while, Amanda shaking, trying not to cry. All Milla could do was hug her, give her the love she was taught to give.
 - "Someone who has everything and then loses it, has nothing to fight against. He can't be strong like Vito, he can only drift in life. He can cling to that coin, to those memories, but ultimately he has lost himself."
 - "But can't we help him? If he only had some love he would feel better!" - She chanted with a child's bravado.
 Amanda's lips trembled as they parted to speak - "I tried,,," - tears streaming down her face.

Open you senses.
"Some people don't live completely on our world.
This was his case. Like many others he was not bound to the physical traits of our world.
His walk, unlike most did not step in stone. His body did not feel the wind others did. His eyes saw not the obstacles in the road, for closed they would gaze upon another plane.
He felt the waves of mana flowing around him, gently chilling the skin of his arms as they enveloped him.
He seemed to walk, but he passed through the energy flow as if he was swimming.
Concentrated strips of energy dodged him, as they followed the wind, wherever it might take them.
The grayish tone of the energy made the contrast with the generally blue highlight of the whole plane. His form had a more hot coloring, it was light green, though it had not a strict form, but rather it was a green blur shimmering with the energy ripples around it.
He walked calmly, he knew there was no one around for many kilometers.
But interestingly enough, if you were around, you would just see another man, but walking against the cold wind, with his eyes closed. At least the may have been what those in his way thought."

A Brief Moment
That most beautiful sound, echoed endlessly throughout the empty room to reach a lonely heart.

All In One.
"... so the main difference would be her attention. Having such distinct and independent parts of her minding their own business leads to a multiple spec of attention.
- So one the down side she's never paying 100% attention. Or even so, one could overload her attentions and get a easy break. Even though it would be tricky. It still rather have my single focus mind.
- Oh but it is more subtle than that. While you think your mind is focused on only one thing, like most people's minds yours processes more things in the background, so you can react, think, and plan without wasting your concentration. But you are not aware of this. Not actively at least.
They looked at each other, she nodded in agreement. They drank a bit and ate part of their sandwiches before resuming.
- On the other hand, she is aware of that, and has trained to keep each one apart, with minimum interference of each other, leaving only a bit of communication within her, so that she might switch attention quickly and keep focused on each task at hand. It would be fairly naive to try to overload her, since that would require a fragmentation of power, once again less effective. But I guess it would still be the best solution.
- What do you mean?
- Well you see... one thing is really dangerous when someone has such a focused and trained mind. She may multitask most of the time, and that serves her well, but if anything would make every single part of her focus on the same thing at one time, she would be far more lethal, becoming a greater opponent than with less attention devoted, even if she became vulnerable to other events, she would be able to dispatch her main trouble so quickly that no other event could take place at the same time.
She kept a scared look, wandering through her glass, while picturing the terrible scene.
- Those kind of people should be dealt carefully, any such event that would trigger the cornered beast effect would be..."

Chances
I could hear that sound: "tu-tum", followed by the sound of chains grinding against each other.
Something held back.
Hesitation?
I pushed forward. The sound faded. Or I grew used to it.
Something moved. It did little but to shift sideways, enough for me to feel its presence.
Hope?
The path followed a long way before it came to a trisection.
There was a decision to be made, and not much time about it.
How to decide, when they all seem so different and lead to unknown futures?
It all comes to chance in the end.
We try to analyze the status, I for one usually trail only those with high status, we think about the consequences in the other paths and sometimes we give it to random chance.
I had only one high status path, but it lead towards a road I knew would be a dead end, if it didn't change along the way. And as though it would be a fun path, it did not seem to lead to a good outcome.
The other two were reasonably new, even though I had passed near one of them in the past. None showed much promise and they didn't meet the basic expectations I usually have.
But I took the chance, and went for the most clear, accessible and with high gamble way.
I may regret along the way not having chosen another path, but I would regret it the same anyway. Maybe this will turn for the best.
Contradiction?
But I still believe the path for me lies beyond that huge blanket of water.

Staring
- I find myself looking into my past.
- How so?
- I look into the ripples from my past, sense them, observe them.
- Things that happened and changed your life?
- Things, objects. You pick up a piece from your past. Be it abstract as a song, or solid as ring. It is a direct link to your past. You only need to cross the wall dividing mere memory, from a piece of life.
- Sounds difficult. Isn't it dangerous?
- Of course. One's past is always dangerous, but just as much as one's future. The difference is that you can't walk into the other way.
- Why do you stare?
- ...
- ...
- ...
- ... wh...
- Because it holds the only clues I have to find what I've lost. To understand my choices. To pass the time until a better present comes. There are too many reasons to stare. The only thing that makes me look forward is a mixture of fear and repulsion.

The price of peace.
- Oh wise one, are you in peace? - Inquired the girl sitting on the bench beneath the red tree.
- Peace is very personal feeling, but at this very moment I could say I am. - He answered looking past the blue tree, into the mountainous horizon.
- So, sometimes you are not at peace?
- You seem surprised. - He stopped for a moment, but she only shifted her eyes from place to place, searching for an answer to a question not made. He went on. - Peace is not something eternal, or a final state of mind. It is like every other feeling, it comes when the time is right, and it goes away without warning. Being at peace is like a country in peace, life is easier, better, people suffer less, but one day a monster, or a mad man, attacks the country, and with the war, peace goes away.
- And how do you achieve peace? - Her eyes dropped to the ground, where she swept the dirt of the ground with her shoe.
- Well, peace is something very costly. It depends on what are you willing to spend to have it. Mainly peace depends of what peace means to you. Peace may be found in the destruction of something, by enjoying a beautiful landscape or even fishing with someone dear. Primarily, you choose what you are willing to spend to achieve peace.
- But... what exactly could be spent that way?
- Well, time is the most common, since anything you do will require some sort of time. Additionally emotions are something that can usually hinder your peace, so taking care of them is something you might need to achieve peace. You may need to sacrifice some emotion, or regain another, it depends only in yourself. I've seen people sacrifice friends, lovers and even family, of course I mean they've cut relationships with those people, not killed them. But it is not unheard of people who did take a life to go for peace, be it by revenge, or be it by taking their own life.
He walked calmly up to the middle of the courtyard, he looked back to her over his shoulder.
- The quest for peace is a most complicated one. Only you can trail your path, and only you know which path leads to it. The only true advice I can give you is, while on your path, try not to mess with others', but I would still say, don't worry too much about reaching some sort of peace, you may find that after so much trouble, it only lasts for a little time. It is better to enjoy the walk towards a possible peace, then run all the way to it, and lose yourself on the way.

Dual Blooded
- So, I don't get the difference.
- You will when you grow older, you are probably also Dual Blooded.
- Then explain to me know what does that change for me.
- Well primarily you have two different blood types flowing through your body.
- Ok, go on.
- Not much I guess. I can say that you normally use your main energy, from your primary bloodline, in our case, human. But the energies are separate, so you can deplete your human reserve and retain energy, but then you risk tapping into the other's blood power.
- You make it sound like it is something bad.
- It is. At least if you don't know how to control yourself. The second blood usually has a more primitive nature, since you raise it in an unnatural environment and never gives it any attention. So tapping into it may result on some sort of frenzy.
She stared a bit whiter than before, considering whether that could turn to worse in her life. Only after some moments she thought about what that meant about her brother.
- What is our second blood? Have you been through this sort of frenzy?
- You can't have that information yet, is is not good for you.
- You can't seriously keep that a secret now.
- When you are ready I'll tell you, and you can try asking mom or dad, but they have no idea about our dual blood. - He came closer, and passing his hand in her hair, messing it up, he said - Besides, our second blood brings up a more bestial form, so to speak. You wouldn't want to undergo a temporary metamorphosis. And yes, I did, and fortunately I've learned how to tap into that power, without it taking over me. When you are older, I'll help you control it to.
- How do I know this thing won't take over me before that.
- Just stay out of trouble, and don't get too hurt, and you may live a full life, without touching your second blood.

A Break Within the Storm
Rain fell heavily. Roads went wet, but not flooded, good for anyone passing through it.
The air got colder, maybe a good change from those hot days.
Clouds formed from everywhere, each one darker than the previous one. Flashes on lighting tore the sky into fragments of an already chaotic image.
Winds were strong. But not constant, they shifted from side to side, making the rain dance by it's will. Only lightning seemed to not care about wind. Even the sound of lightning got mixed up with the roaring wind.
Swirling figures in the sky, twisting and twirling with the nearly black clouds, brought only turmoil to the scene.
One could guess that a hurricane would join the symphony of chaos to help destroy the landscape. But no... not there... there couldn't be a hurricane there...
At least that's what everyone thought.
Only a small push away, the only thing needed was the right amount of energy in the right direction.
Everyone drew a long deep breath. They stared quite silently, not a single breathing to be heard, just waiting for the worse. We all expect the worse.
Then, it happened, like an ordinary event, of an seemingly ordinary day. Right on that damp road.
The storm broke.
Quickly... VERY quickly.
It was like all clouds burst away from a center.
And every heard the reason.
Where was once those roaring winds, thundering lightnings and splashing rain, now was the sound of one music.
All my friends.
At one moment, every little piece of the sky fell into place, just as if to hear this song.
Or maybe it was the power of the song.
No one knew.
But all of them listened.
And they felt it.
Not very often to see a music break through such a storm and bring peace with it.
But peace is as fleeting as the song that brings it, and the same way it came with the music, it also went away with the music's end.
And the storm continued from where it left, weaker from the break, happier for the pause.
Even nature will open way for a song in the right place, in the right time.

The Death of an Angel
Well, I don't mean an actual angel, she could be from any race. Maybe part angel, maybe part shadow, maybe part demon. What matters is how she acted, and she did it like only the angels you imagine do.
Steph. That's her name... or at least part of it.
She grew as a timid person. She didn't know lots of people, but she still wandered around smiling and observing. She was very calm, extremely patient and thought before acting.
She had few friends. Those she had she vowed to protect. She formed a special kind of bond, even though they did not know it. She was the one behind the simple things, the one who went after that special gift, or the one to give support whenever needed.
Life was simple. Her only troubles were things that made her stronger.
Her observations gave her unique insight of the world, or that's what she believed. But she knew she had lots to learn yet.
She realized how people around the world related to one another. How there are groups of peoples, split by what they do in life and how their priorities stand. The funny thing she discovered was this hidden, barely known group. She saw how life took it's course, but near everyone happy, there was someone working the extra mile, cleaning the stones in the path.
Most people aren't aware of these people. Well of course these people aren't invisible, they talk with everyone, like any ordinary person. The difference lies in their actions. The way they do things to make other feel better, they work on simple things, like carrying your drunk friend home or paying attention to their preferences. They do nice things, but... they don't take credit. You see, people complain whenever something bad happens in their life, but they rarely question when something good happens. Sometimes it's luck, some are fruits of hard work, but when one is having fun and enjoying a good streak one almost never stops to think it could be because of someone else.
As she grew her own identity, she felt that this was her style, to help, in the silent of the night. She took every opportunity she could, was it a sad face, or the nickname in the messenger or simple tone in someone's voice. She tried to get to know people, just to help. She listened to others, that made them feel better. She paid attention to details. She tried to be nice. This was her routine.
Bound to her own life cycle, she continued each day with her routine.
Bonds with friends were loosened through the years, old companions left her life. She didn't realize the consequences of this, so she focused on her friends.
New friendships began. Old ones broke. She was in transition to a new stage of her life.
Things were different, more mature. She still had not found her missing knowledge.
Critical changes were at her front, she had to react in order to preserve her vows. So she adapted.
This critical change, the loss of a friend, the now more mature part of her, and the need to stand on her own gave her the snap of knowledge she needed.
She would come to regret this.
She felt for the first time helpless. No action could save this old friendship. She felt that this was something important to people. Friendship was a feeling worth preserving. So she dedicated herself to her friends.
After some choices, a road lead to a pot of happiness for her, this second chance with her past.
This was the time to learn. She was beside one of the greatest angels of all time, and she met another one during this same period.
One thing about this particular group of people. You know how most people tend to live with people like them. So geeks go with geeks, artists hand with artists and well, most people follow this pattern. It is all about finding the group where you identify yourself. But contrary to these groups, "angels" don't hang with angels. They seek people who need them, or for some natural unexplained reason, people who need them seek these guardian angels. From what she observed, she never saw two true angels hanging together. Usually, we consider the group of these guardian angels, and the group in need of help. The thing is, this one way relationship does not help the angels. Since angels don't usually help each other, angels are bound not to get help.
Helping, like doing anything, without recognition is a consuming action. Being an angel implies not to expect recognition.
She found this mirror of her own identity, she look at what she was. She saw what she wanted. She wanted to be able to depend on someone. She wanted an angel for her. She wanted the one thing she could have.
These two angels in her life saw her on the ground, weak, in despair. They took her by the hand, and put her back on her feet. They helped her to survive her own breakdown.
When you're about to break up, you have the small chance of seeing beside you an angel, maybe more, even if you are an angel. You realize you have someone to protect you.
So she found renewed strength in the comfort of other angels. And so she went on with her mission in life, helping people.
She lost countless afternoons talking with people, trying to give them confidence. Hearing their problems, helping them solve them, even the simple ones like math homework.
A lot of learning and growth followed through that time.
But as years pass, time becomes more scarce, and people more distant. But still, the will to help held on. Driven by the will to pass forward the help received she went forward.
A friend's marriage fell, an old colleague passing through a rough time. Some friends with trouble with dates. And each time less time to pay up her own maintenance cost.
She felt the distance with her friends on her wings. A huge weight keeping her from moving in a good pace. She blamed the angels for leaving her, just to elude her from her fate. She was once again alone.
Eventually she found a new set of people to be with.
As she tried to help, make this new set of people feel happier, hope grew with her, the hope her wish would come true. Time was just enough for her dream do scale out of proportion, rendering her depending of that false hope.
This, as it may sound, is quite big. To hope so dearly on one thing, depending on how one person will react, is a really risky gamble. Going against all her common sense, and her own advices, her dream went on.
She felt bad, she knew not why, she had some perception that her dream was about to end. But no one, and I'm yet to find an exception, can brace themselves to see their dreams fall apart.
So it hit the road, on a sharp left turn, it all ended. But wait, we are used to see our dreams die, change or adapt. We do it since kids. Those who dream of becoming soccer stars, astronauts or even curing cancer, but eventually end up in something more "realistic".
It's sad, but it's how we are raised.
So, this critical stop on the wall on the road wasn't that big of a deal. In fact, she knew she could get through it. The catch was, was could not do it alone.
Getting yourself up is hard. It's far more easy to get someone else up. But angels get no help, if they are usually unseen, when they lie on the side of the road, silent, they are even more invisible.
She sat there alone.
Silence...
Deep silence.
Then a little sob.
Her mind was cracking, she kept questioning her own self, asking herself if she was a nice person, if she hurt anyone, if she deserved to be alone. She began to convince herself she deserved to suffer.
Angels should never strive for justice. It's against their nature. Yet, when everything is down, we all wish things were fair. That the rich didn't have so much money, and the poor so little.
Now, when you're suffering, and you rather believe in justice, the only conclusion is that either something really good will happen, or that you deserved to be where you are.
Time passed. Too much time. She did not recover. And no one... waited.
She felt truly alone, and since there was no prospect of good turns, she went with the only possible thing to accept. She was not nice.
She developed this trail of thought. She did what was nice to her, and that hurt people, even if they were her most inner and natural actions. So, in order to help others, the best way was to stay away.
She raised, the little she could, and went on her way. Slowly, everyday farther from others.
No one missed her.
The echo of her voice gradually faded into oblivion.
She was alone.
She ignored her calling.
She ignored those in need. And she felt worse each time.
A year passed down this road.
A year is a long time. It may seem to pass quick. But when each day you look into your own actions and judge yourself, one year is far too much.
The guilt drove her weak.
The feeling of failure drove away all sense of purpose.
She lost a reason to go on.
Why take the next step she asked.
No one answered.
Angels, may fade away. The don't simply die. They fade, disappear from everyone's lives.
They vanish, until not a shred of them is traceable.
She was so sweet.
She is now, nowhere to be found.
She left this world, into a place with flowers as far as the eye can see.
The sad thing... is that...
she will not be missed... because no one ever saw her work...

The Edge Between Extremes.
There is a place, some weird and uncharted place, where extremes meet. Not any extreme, the most common one, happiness versus sadness.
This place, is kind of a fluke, you don't realize when you enter it of even when you leave it. This place, has a thin line, commonly seen in many different places, where two different states are separated only by this line. The difference here is that you have states with such a difference, where they would normally have many states in between and that much lines dividing them.
So I know not how I got there, or how (if) I got out, but there was I.
When I saw that scene, classic happy ending, at the same time I felt that empty feeling like that same ending was missing in my life. So process took me to a familiar place, the tear filled eyes.
As the tears feel, the pain and sadness collided with the warmth of the happy ending, among the chaotic breathing, with the classic running nose, I was crying because I was happy, AND because I was sad.
This, my people, is truly confusing.
Maybe there are more lines between extremes, but this one I've seen in person.

Energy Waves
- You remember when we were little, we used to play around with our energies all the time.
- But that's because we were hyperactive children. Grown people don't just spread energy waves around for no reason.
- Yeah, but grown people also do many stupid things, so... they're not the best model for this comparison. But still, energy waves can be felt all around, even without expanding it, or actively using it. They are part of our "personality".
- But there are those who can conceal their energy.
- Yes, I should know. - he grimed - But they are not a majority and neither do they conceal their auras all the time.
- So you believe these auras, even if we don't consciously try to track, we feel and our response changes accordingly to other people's energy?
- Mainly. It would explain more things than thinking it is wrong.
- Like what?
- Well too many things to keep us here more time than we should. But I could exemplify one more evident.
They turned the chairs in which they were sitting to face each other. The place was a bit more crowded than usual, so the noise was covering most they were saying. So mainly no one was paying attention to them.
- See people here?! Well, they all seem to be talking to someone they know. But why do people talk with others?! You probably wondered about this. Most of these people had no reason at all to be together this day. Hell, we didn't have a reason to be friends.
- We didn't?
- Well, think about the things in common. We have some great things, but mostly we are completely different. So are most people. What binds them... energy waves.
- No wait, there are many reasons to be together with someone, even if you have nearly nothing in common.
- Agreed. But still, you probably know a lot of nice people. What stops you from being with them all the time, and getting to know them better? People eventually know much more people than they actually pass time with. And some of them surely are great people. But study akin to numerology and astrology, but lacking the precision of the former and the success of the latter. still, they lack something that allows this binding. This is the same with love at first sight. Or why some people arouse others' curiosity while others don't. This all happens because at some point they got together, for some random and unimportant reason, and as their energy waves were proper for them to want to get to know each other. This sudden interest, in someone you don't know has no logical reason. But it happens somehow. I can only give it to energy waves.
- Well, it does have no logical explanation.
- Yep. I realized this a long time a go, when I looked around my classmates and even though many of them were cool, some very nice people, some very beautiful, some with many interests in common with me, I had no special interest in becoming better friends with them. But for some reason, I wanted to meet some very random people from my class, or friends of my friends, even though they seemed not interested in me, some treated me with disdain, or just ignored me. Some I've become very good friends despite the odds. That can only be due to our matching energy waves.
- Probably.
- Likewise, even if you have such an affinity for someone, if they don't have the same feeling for you, the relationship probably won't work, at least not on the long run.
- I think that happens more often then the first case.
- Hehehe, I agree. This is a strange part of things. But remember when you see someone that interests you for no apparent reason, there are things there that may turn this person in one of the best you've ever met.

A Digging Dream
At your bed.
At night.
Struggling with cold.
Really really cold.

Winter is there.
You lay there curled.
Under piles of blankets.
Hugging your pillow.

You feel comfortable.
You breath heavily.
Your lungs request more air.
But you feel like not moving.

You start to drowse.
Breathing is not your focus.
Your mind at random thoughts.
Until it goes blank.

Time passes.
Dreams randomly in your mind.
Time really passes.
But then you have a dream.

One significant enough to remember.
A girl, a hug with tears and a talk.
Simple, but meaningful.
Your heart pumped stronger.

The dream of something,
You wish had happened long ago.
Probably the last time you had hope.
The last time your heart beat like this.

You regain conscientiousness.
Everything is dark.
Alone under the blankets.
Isolated from the cold.

You think about it.
Your heart feels young.
But it tells you the grim message.
You no longer wish this dream.

It was good as a dream.
Would have been good ages ago.
Now it would clash with anger.
So you go back to sleep.

Silent is the night.
Under the moonlight veil.
Surrounded by darkness.
Dreams are there to dig your old feelings.

The Woman in the Red Dress
The place is strange to me, I've never been here before, and probably wouldn't have come if it weren't for her unusual nagging.
Why did she make such a big deal about me coming here tonight, we could have gone to many other nice places without this kind of noise. Where is she? I thought she would have a table reserved for us. Like, what the hell is going on here?!
Maybe I got here first. She wanted to come in separate cars. It's nice for her to be independent, but sometimes I'd like to feel more useful, she could just spend this time with me, it wouldn't kill her.
This place is nice, despite the noise of course. It has many small round tables with thin chairs around them, the lights seem appropriate to talk with your friends about life. People occupy most of the tables, but some are still empty. Apparently two waiters seem to move from table to table picking orders and asking them to the bartender. At the bar, two people are preparing drinks, being one of them the link between the waiters and the kitchen, and the other the main cocktail master. There seem to be another person standing at the counter waiting to deliver the drinks.
People seem to be having fun, talking with each other. Even the few lonely people seem to be enjoying a calm night and having fun with their reading. I wonder how he can read under such dim light, maybe the light above him is enough.
Well, let me get a table for me.
Soft seat, this is good. The ambient music seem enjoyable too. Now that I'm closer to the other tables I can see some people playing card games. Strange thing for a place like this.
Well, I still haven't figured out what king of place is this. There is a piano in the stage at the end of the room. Doesn't seem to have much space to dance, so I'm taking this is a bar with live piano musics. I hope the pianist is good. I know she likes a soft cool music. Yeah, this must be why she wanted to come here, this place is like her, different but still classy. Of course, she seems more like the kind that goes to more agitated places, but this has a touch of her.
- Hi, can I get you something?
- Humm, get me cola, no ice or lemon.
- Ok, anything else?
- No thanks.
- I'll be right back.
Should I get something to eat? Well, I did eat late today, so I'm not hungry, but if she takes too long I'll get something just to nibble on.
- Here it is.
- Thank you.
The lights are fading. Where the hell is she? The performance is about to start.
A thin man enters the stage, all black outfit, he comes calmly and sits at the piano. People start to quiet down, the people playing cards stop their games, the people reading put down their books/papers. Silence takes place, darkness joins it.
The only light remaining is the one in the stage. But it's not at full power. Just enough for the pianist to read.
After one minute he finished stretching an put his hands into the piano. The song flowed with his fingers, gently, but firmly pressing each key, and producing the most soothing melody.
Damn it, she's going to miss it. Should I call her? But then I'll miss it too. Ok, there must be something wrong with her, I'll call her.
At that moment another spot light came to life. And a voice joined the song. A smooth voice, but strong. Amplified by the microphone she entered the stage from the left singing. The pianist was nows playing very low, giving space for the voice to lead the song.
The singer was thin, not too tall, about 1.70 meters, or something like that, with high heels.
Her hair was slightly curled, light brunet with some highlights, she wore no visible makeup, but she had the natural beauty that does not need it. She had the most beautiful smile, and sang very calmly, but you could feel her heart in every word she said.
She had this long, one piece, red dress, with a black design at at the breasts.
She kept singing for some time there, and when the time was right a string bass, and a violin joined the symphony, they came from each side and joined the piano. The created the most melodic back music to complete the voice singing those perfect lyrics.
For some reason, I could only think they were for me. They somehow spoke to my heart directly, they answered questions unsolved for years, they brought ease to the confusion in my heart, and all seemed so beautiful.
In the middle of the spectacle, she began to walk around the tables, not coming too close to each table, but passing happily near each one, but her eyes kept dancing around the room, eventually crossing with mine several times. The drums had joined the party too, appearing only slightly in the side when the curtains sled a bit open.
She stopped singing, giving room for the flute to come in and take on the main melody for some time. She then walked a bit more and went for the front of the stage, right in the center. She looked at me, raised the microphone to her mouth. She smiled.
I felt nervous, this was all too sweet, I felt too happy. I smiled back.
All instruments faded out gently, leaving the drums for an occasional beat check, just to keep the rhythm. She stepped forward taking a deep breath and sang again, without instruments filling, just her voice, her eyes, her walk and the only light in the place dimly following her around.
Those words, the words I vowed not to say out loud, not to reveal to anyone, the same words I've dreamed to hear one day, they came from her, specially to me, and took away every defense, barrier, stress, preoccupation, worries and sadness I had. Left me there, pure to feel how I'd once felt. How she seemed to feel.
She walked to me singing, she came closer, the instruments slowly seemed to return to the music, but I didn't realize it. My mind was on her voice, on her words. She touched my chest, and slid her hand over my shoulder to my hand. She pulled me up from the chair and kept singing looking into my eyes, just a foot away.
That was it, it could not get any more perfect.
From the moment the song ended I knew, I had no doubt, not about this. Not one of the ones that kept me company along many long years. I have no idea why those words have such effect, I've heard others that seem more fit to me, but for some reason, those words are the words I'd like to hear someone sing to me, and she did it.
That's why she didn't come with me, or explain anything. It wasn't to see a show with her, it was to see her perform. Perform to me.
That was all I needed to hear, and then I knew.

Intermission
The wooden main stage. There, illuminated by the spotlight. People phasing in and out of the stage.
Only one is there at all times. At least at this stage.
He walks around. In front of a crate he tries to push it. No use.
He walks away.
In front of a fence he tries to jump. Fails.
He gets up and cleans the dirt in his clothes.
He walks to a nearby tree. He glances beyond it. People are there. People who were on stage.
He blinks.
The weight of his eyelids is too much. He closes them.
The weight passes to his body.
Too heavy. Too...heavy.
He let go of his balance.
Right into the ground.
Tumpf.
The curtains goes down.
Intermission...

A Small Talk in the Dark
- I know I shouldn't react like this anymore. But somethings are out of my power to control. - said the young boy tossing a stone into the lake.
- We've all been there. What to do? You can always leave forever, but is that a feasible solution? - replied the girl next to him gazing into the lake, and observing the clashing ripples in the water.
The boy stood up and walked towards the lake. He stopped and just looked the reflection of the moon in the water. A few seconds latter the ripples arrived scrambling the image he observed, as thus breaking his trail of thoughts and spilling it over his voice.
- I don't want to run away, I liked what I had. If only I didn't feel this way I could enjoy it. Instead of that I feel more and more split apart.
- Sure, you don't want to see anyone, at least not anyone who is capable of hurting you, but on the other hand you don't want to be alone.
- No one wants.
- Agreed. - she said getting up silently - So you need someone who wants to be with you. - and saying that she rushed to shove him into the lake.
He tried to avoid falling by stepping into the water, but on the third step the water resistance made him lose his balance, and so he fell into the water.
She stood there near the lake, just giggling. He rose from the water, his clothes completely soaked, sticking to his body, his hair somewhat muddy and falling in his face. He took some water off his face and opened his eyes directly at her.
- What the hell?
She laughed a bit.
- Yeah you're right, I should go after someone who wants to be with me. You want to be with me right? - he said looking deeply towards her, and walking near her. She kept giggling but started to back up a bit - So come her and give me a hug.
She turned around to run, but she was stopped by a hand firmly holding her wrist. He pulled her near him and grappled her. He started to drag her to the lake, she struggled a bit.
- No, don't even think about it.
- What, you don't want to be with me? Ok then, - he said turning around and holding her in front of him with the lake behind her - you can just sit with the fish.
Her eyes opened wide as he held her shoulders and pushed her into the lake. She went directly down, without trying to keep her balance, but tried to soften the fall with her hands. She splashed into the water, but as she fell sitting part of her didn't get wet. Part of her knee, hair and from the breasts up didn't get much soaked as the rest of her, they just got sprinkled with some of the splashing water.
He went back to the tree, took off his shirt and tried to get his chest dry.
- You're mean! - she said in a childish but yet giggly voice. Then she got up and walked near him.
- Oh sorry, maybe I should have stayed wet while you were dry.
She just smiled at him. They didn't say anything for about half a minute.
- You know, it is not about what could have been. If it didn't go the way you wanted, just try to make the best out of your new situation.
- Sure. - he looked down - But eventually I'll get tired of things not going how I would like. It's just so many good opportunities wasted just because people don't see things as I do.
- I know it's hard to find someone who has so much in common with you. That's why so many people end up never getting married.
- And it's not even about love in my case.
- But it's still hard. - she said putting her left hand in his arm, and her right hand in his left hand.
- Yes. I just thought that I would find a place where I could identify myself to people, and would therefore find someone. But I end up with the person who has most in common with me is the one who came into my life the most randomly.
- The usual when you least expect right? But there are other who care about you.
- Sure, they just don't have enough time to spend with me, or very little in common.
- And those who do have the time and same interests, just lack the perception of friendship you have, and therefore they don't do the simple things you would like them to.
He sat on the tree once again. Silence held for some time. The mud in the lake feel silently into the ground, clearing the water as the ripples just faded. She sat by his side. A group of ducks swum nearby, eventually diving to wet their heads, or do whatever ducks do that for.
- Even with the occasional arguing, and the pushing into the lake, this is much better. Having someone who is not running around constantly doing things, never stopping to talk with you, or spend a day without worries, just a day to relax, is good. Like this.
- You lead a very calm life, sure of what you want to do with it. Too bad you're doing it alone. Many people prefer to have a busy life. But occasionally you'll find someone who can do this with you more often. I guess it's only a matter of finding someone who likes you, and has this kind of time.
- You know that's not enough. But from this point I would be too picky to ask more right?
- Well, each person has it's own demands about life. Most ignore them, but if you pay attention closely you'll see...
- That everyone is picky about something, and for some reason they still manage to get what they want.
- Yep.
- I wonder...
Silence fell again.
- Yes, don't worry. You'll find someone in your life that is like in your dreams. Just lay down a little on your simple hopes of people changing and being nice to you, or doing things you would like them to. Spare yourself.
- Yeah, it's their loss right?
- Heh, maybe. You just don't deserve to suffer for people who are not concerned about you.
- No one does. No one should.
- But humans like to suffer. Hehehehe.
- That they do.
The night went silent. The few stars in the sky blinked endlessly. The lights on the streets kept the place just lit enough to see around. They wrapped their arms around each other to keep their bodies warm.
"This is nice. This is what I want. Support, understanding." - he thought.
She smiled.

Shimmering Limits
It seems as I've wondered near my limits.
It's not that limit all know so well between good and evil. It's a strange place. Deep within the darkness, following the very dark blue lights you come to a place very isolated. The sound of a nearby waterfall fills the air, the smell of wet flowers and the mix of fear are all around me. There is little light mostly coming from the ground. The sky seems brown, but it's so dark up there it is hard to tell, there are some occasional lightning bolt crossing it. On the ground several lines cross. The emit a very faint white, blue light. But they don't seem to be crossing altogether, they are.... they.... they are shimmering.
These lines, they mark the limit. Limit between lots of things, where love turns to hate, where sanity ends, where you take decisions opposed to your own preferences. Thats why they are not still, because limits have thin boundaries, that are unclear.
As I stand there, where the crossing lines oscillate from one side to another, I find my own will to be doubtful. There is also a voice a heard recently, that seems to reverberate with the same feeling as me, at least in part. What do I want? I can't seem to find something I really want, that is, I know what my heart wants, but I know not if it now will make me happy.
I don't was has happened. I've just been walking, lately I haven't been alone, at least not physically, but it somehow drove me to will being completely alone. Maybe it is just a reaction to being constantly surrounded by people and feeling so apart from them, not personal connection.
I've know I was different for a long time, but never have I felt so left out. Standing in the limit is making me confused, this time I think I wandered too far.
So against my normal way, I think being alone is best, even if I wish I had someone by my side. I guess, what I really wish for, is someone who is a little more like me, someone who wants my by his/her side. Of course, maybe this is just because of that little voice I heard. I'd just like more meaningful relationships. Hehehe, or I just miss having a good game to play.
Well, since I'm here, might as well enjoy it. Let's sit there by that tree, and rest a little, by the sound of running water. Such peace.

The Morning After
Dawn, the sun still behind the moutains, the sky still fighting between dark and light. The path along the road was still dark, but there was enough light to see the path clearly.
"Now this is a waste of a good shade!" - he thought.
He squezed his eyes to protect from the sun light, the sun made his usually black eyes shine with the golden reflection. He was now preparing to get on his way.
He yawned there, and started to stretch. Right arm down and a little to the back, left arm bent aup in the air. The sun now lowering over the road reflected on the left wing standing up in the air, the right wing was lower, so no light hit it.
He looked back at the road ahead, he saw in the distance a wolf attacking a sheep, it reminded him of te day before. He stepped forward, but anger took over, he hit a nearby tree with the side of his hand.
Some leaves fell around him, bouncing over his head, arm and wings.
"This is so unfair." - he thought - "I tried the best I could, but no good comes out of it, everything in my life still goes wrong. The near future has so many promisses, but somethings in the past still keep my mood down."
He started to walk again, but this time he used his wings to shield his face from the rising sun.
Wind blew strong, and his hair waved with it. Soon he'll arrive at the next city. It's going to be a long walk in the sun now, but the journey will seem much longer with hope and disapointment clashing inside him.
"This is so unfair." - he thought again.
And with his thoughts pouring he walked the curved road, leading to his next destiny, hoping for good things, and carrying a sad look.

Breaking and Welding Chains
The silent night is the background, where a slow walk is the only sound to be heard, but the walk remains hidden in the dark. Each step is followed by the sound of a chain, the chain grinding to itself as if something is pulling it apart. Little sparks jump from the chain trying to break out a light to the ambient, but the darkness is too heavy. Only fleeting shadows roam from the sparks.
As I walk, I am welding a new chain. This time, to someone who I hope can give me the happiness I need. To someone which has given me many good moments. But somehow, there is something holding me down, a weight over me, I think it is an old chain, but it is dark, and I can't see well enough. It seems to me, the this weight is the reflection of an very important chain which I tried to break, and stopped midway as an request from a very important person...
What I see from it, from the very little that is given to me, it seems that this chain was somehow connected to a web like structure of chains. It seems that the vibrations I created in my end of the chain created a rupture in that structure, and I feel that an old group, which stood together, and wasted many hours playfully, is now breaking up, and stopping to hang out, or doing so less frequently. I know it may seem I am conceited thinking this, but sometimes I feel that I was one of the few trying to hold that structure intact. Maybe this is this weight I've been feeling some days, it seems it was what struck today.
Some chains add weight, some pull from different sides, I see nothing at the end, it is too dark, I can't see which chains are breaking, some chains are holding me together, and some are pressing agains my wounds as I try to go forward. This walk is a very hard one, but at least the silent night has been a "sight", no worries, no noise, just me, my chains, and a very long, VERY dark, path.