Memory Check List
Recently I realized how weird my memory is. Well, at least I realized a new level I didn't perceive before.
I had a tendency to forget things I told myself to remember over and over. Like those things you remember that you must do the next day, and say to yourself, don't forget, but when it comes to it you never remember it. But I got used to, important things I sometimes send an e-mail to myself as a reminder, sometimes I focus really hard and kind of "save" in my memory what I had to do, so I keep remembering from time to time.
This saving things in the memory leads to something I can only describe as memory check list. You brain thinks all the time, even when you don't realize it (probably not during your sleep, who knows), but it is hard to keep it thinking on the right track. So I think we have a part of your memory destined to check up things. Important things eventually end up there and so when your brain wonders off in random thoughts it sometimes glimpses at this check list sees if there is some upcoming pending important thing to do.
Have you ever remembered something kind of urgent on your way home, just out of nowhere when thinking about something completely unrelated? So that would be the function of this check list.
But as any list it requires maintenance. You can't remember everything after all.
So what I came to realize is that I have a bug in my maintenance function.
I had something important I had to do, simple, like warning someone about something. I was waiting for the opportunity to do it, so from time to time I checked if I could do it. Eventually an event occurred so I didn't have to do anything anymore. But still, I check about 6 times if I could do the thing I had to do but didn't have to do anymore. Then I went to bed and reset the check list.
It was kind of annoying saying to myself for the sixth time, you don't have to check this anymore, so stop wasting your time. Instinctively I went to check for something I didn't need anymore, even though I knew I didn't need to check. But this check list access is so fast, that it goes and does not warn the rest of the memory, resulting in unprocessed actions.
Weird huh?
I've done this several times, but only really registered it recently.
My memory is one of the worst I know.
I wonder if these things happen to others as well.

Attached Memories
Sit.
Wait.
Stop.
Breath.
Listen.
Listen well.
what does is remind you?
this familiar song. It carries so many memories.
Great ones.
You don't need to do something great over again to feel the same feeling.
All you need is to sit.
Listen. Listen well. This song was a mark in time, it has ALL the feelings you need with it.
Songs & Memories. A very powerful duo.
All you need is to listen.
Stop.
Sit.
Listen.

The Last Best Thing: Games
What was your last best game? What was the last game you played that made you feel like that was the best game in the whole history? Not the best game you've ever played, I'm asking about a game you played and think it deserves the tittle of best of games.
You see, it's impossible to determine what is the best game. Even among each category it is hard.
But in your life, (you who played enough), probably came upon a game that meant so much to you, that you faithfully believe it's the best game of all time.
One game you've played many times. One which you never get tired of. The one you recommend to all your friends.
Games, just like anything in life, can be a simple waste of time, but can also be one of the most valuable experiences in one's life. Just like a movie, it can have the perfect music to reflect the characters feelings. Just like a book, it can have the perfectly placed words that make you live the story of the book. Just like a painting, it can have a image, even if crude, that is worth all the words possible to describe the scene. Just like anything you interact in your life, you can relate to it, to the characters' desires, wishes, battles, feelings, code of conduct, style and so on.
Have you seen a game like this? Not necessarily perfect, not like this description, but a game you'd like to call the best.
And finally, if you know any game like this, what was the last game you played that felt like this?
Interestingly, I've chosen many games because of their style, name or just at random. But there is one game. I entered the store, not a big or famous one. My father was with me. I was very young. I wanted a famous game, that I thought would be interesting. They had none, or at least I did not find them. So I went for genre. Role Playing Games.
This one caught my attention. Simple name. Second in it series. Thought they did not have the first. Promised many things. Had very interesting new things. "The Ultimate Role Playing Game!" it said on the back. For some reason I believed it.
I was in the U.S. so I did not have my console with me, so I had to wait the whole trip before I got to play it. I read the manual, the box, anything. I got each time more and more anxious about it. I grew greater expectations by the day. And I'm proud to say it lived up to my expectations.
The games was original, had new interesting stuff, good graphics (for its time), great puzzles, great history, well developed characters and great soundtrack.
Well, this is the game that marked my life as the best game. I do say there are many games around this tittle, and probably this one is not even near the tittle, but in my concept this was the best game I ever played.
So if you have any interest. If you don't mind playing 2D games with sprites. If you have the time. If you like RPG. I'd say try it, with an open mind.
The name is Lufia 2: Rise of the Sinistrals. The Last Best Game I've ever played.

A Digging Dream
At your bed.
At night.
Struggling with cold.
Really really cold.

Winter is there.
You lay there curled.
Under piles of blankets.
Hugging your pillow.

You feel comfortable.
You breath heavily.
Your lungs request more air.
But you feel like not moving.

You start to drowse.
Breathing is not your focus.
Your mind at random thoughts.
Until it goes blank.

Time passes.
Dreams randomly in your mind.
Time really passes.
But then you have a dream.

One significant enough to remember.
A girl, a hug with tears and a talk.
Simple, but meaningful.
Your heart pumped stronger.

The dream of something,
You wish had happened long ago.
Probably the last time you had hope.
The last time your heart beat like this.

You regain conscientiousness.
Everything is dark.
Alone under the blankets.
Isolated from the cold.

You think about it.
Your heart feels young.
But it tells you the grim message.
You no longer wish this dream.

It was good as a dream.
Would have been good ages ago.
Now it would clash with anger.
So you go back to sleep.

Silent is the night.
Under the moonlight veil.
Surrounded by darkness.
Dreams are there to dig your old feelings.

Held by Thorn
Tum Tum!
It tried to find something to beat for, and found nothing.
Weird feeling of the pump for a reason, specially when it finds no reason.
Tum Tum...
it finds the tight rope of thorns holding it down.
it wonders about freedom.
Tum Tum,
will it ever find a new reason to tum?
will I ever find the peace I need to rest?
Tum?
I'm not in the mood for the other tum...

Age Differences
Have you ever looked back to see what were you like many years ago?
Many people wish they could go back in time and redo something in their lives.
I have this practice of thinking things I shouldn't have done, so I don't do them again. Of course I have to revisit whatever feeling I had at that time to understand why I did it.
So I glimpsed back. And realized how different I were. It's not that usual I was a geek now I'm a grown up. No, in fact, I'm still a geek =P.
Many year ago, and when I say many I mean about 95 years ago, there was I, a very shy boy with nothing better to do than video games. I was weak, never practiced any sports, or didn't like them. I wasn't social, knew few people, and was kind of hated by most. Being a geek like I was, I preferred to be at home, playing games, or playing with the few friends I had.
I was ashamed to do things. I feared what other people would think of me. I was raised believing in moral values, not being thought that I had a choice over them, and should choose the most appropriate moment to follow them. I was too timid to do things, so I kept out of other people's ways.
I had little knowledge, and little interest in expanding them.
I was different...
or should I say... I am different.
Now I have more confidence in my self. I have great awareness of my actions and their consequences. I choose without fear and go through it to the end.
I have my plans, great ones. Most will take a lot of effort, which I'm willing to do.
I have no shame about normal things, I have nearly no shame of my actions, and will talk about them freely if I wish.
I have much more knowledge, and there are many things which I still want to learn, and will in time.
I know lots of people, I have my group of friends from the RPG, and the college, we go out from time to time. And many other people I go out with.
Interestingly it seems strange to realize you've changed so much, even though you've been used to being like you are.
We still maintain traces of our childhood. Traces I believe to be unchangeable, eternal. Those traces unique to you, that no matter how much people may try or come close, they'll never have the same traces.
I might have been through a lot, and changed much more than I expected to. But on the good side, I'm much stronger. More than I ever imagined.
People change, fact.
But they do not necessarily change for the best.
I wonder how much will I change in the next years.
Do you?

The Woman in the Red Dress
The place is strange to me, I've never been here before, and probably wouldn't have come if it weren't for her unusual nagging.
Why did she make such a big deal about me coming here tonight, we could have gone to many other nice places without this kind of noise. Where is she? I thought she would have a table reserved for us. Like, what the hell is going on here?!
Maybe I got here first. She wanted to come in separate cars. It's nice for her to be independent, but sometimes I'd like to feel more useful, she could just spend this time with me, it wouldn't kill her.
This place is nice, despite the noise of course. It has many small round tables with thin chairs around them, the lights seem appropriate to talk with your friends about life. People occupy most of the tables, but some are still empty. Apparently two waiters seem to move from table to table picking orders and asking them to the bartender. At the bar, two people are preparing drinks, being one of them the link between the waiters and the kitchen, and the other the main cocktail master. There seem to be another person standing at the counter waiting to deliver the drinks.
People seem to be having fun, talking with each other. Even the few lonely people seem to be enjoying a calm night and having fun with their reading. I wonder how he can read under such dim light, maybe the light above him is enough.
Well, let me get a table for me.
Soft seat, this is good. The ambient music seem enjoyable too. Now that I'm closer to the other tables I can see some people playing card games. Strange thing for a place like this.
Well, I still haven't figured out what king of place is this. There is a piano in the stage at the end of the room. Doesn't seem to have much space to dance, so I'm taking this is a bar with live piano musics. I hope the pianist is good. I know she likes a soft cool music. Yeah, this must be why she wanted to come here, this place is like her, different but still classy. Of course, she seems more like the kind that goes to more agitated places, but this has a touch of her.
- Hi, can I get you something?
- Humm, get me cola, no ice or lemon.
- Ok, anything else?
- No thanks.
- I'll be right back.
Should I get something to eat? Well, I did eat late today, so I'm not hungry, but if she takes too long I'll get something just to nibble on.
- Here it is.
- Thank you.
The lights are fading. Where the hell is she? The performance is about to start.
A thin man enters the stage, all black outfit, he comes calmly and sits at the piano. People start to quiet down, the people playing cards stop their games, the people reading put down their books/papers. Silence takes place, darkness joins it.
The only light remaining is the one in the stage. But it's not at full power. Just enough for the pianist to read.
After one minute he finished stretching an put his hands into the piano. The song flowed with his fingers, gently, but firmly pressing each key, and producing the most soothing melody.
Damn it, she's going to miss it. Should I call her? But then I'll miss it too. Ok, there must be something wrong with her, I'll call her.
At that moment another spot light came to life. And a voice joined the song. A smooth voice, but strong. Amplified by the microphone she entered the stage from the left singing. The pianist was nows playing very low, giving space for the voice to lead the song.
The singer was thin, not too tall, about 1.70 meters, or something like that, with high heels.
Her hair was slightly curled, light brunet with some highlights, she wore no visible makeup, but she had the natural beauty that does not need it. She had the most beautiful smile, and sang very calmly, but you could feel her heart in every word she said.
She had this long, one piece, red dress, with a black design at at the breasts.
She kept singing for some time there, and when the time was right a string bass, and a violin joined the symphony, they came from each side and joined the piano. The created the most melodic back music to complete the voice singing those perfect lyrics.
For some reason, I could only think they were for me. They somehow spoke to my heart directly, they answered questions unsolved for years, they brought ease to the confusion in my heart, and all seemed so beautiful.
In the middle of the spectacle, she began to walk around the tables, not coming too close to each table, but passing happily near each one, but her eyes kept dancing around the room, eventually crossing with mine several times. The drums had joined the party too, appearing only slightly in the side when the curtains sled a bit open.
She stopped singing, giving room for the flute to come in and take on the main melody for some time. She then walked a bit more and went for the front of the stage, right in the center. She looked at me, raised the microphone to her mouth. She smiled.
I felt nervous, this was all too sweet, I felt too happy. I smiled back.
All instruments faded out gently, leaving the drums for an occasional beat check, just to keep the rhythm. She stepped forward taking a deep breath and sang again, without instruments filling, just her voice, her eyes, her walk and the only light in the place dimly following her around.
Those words, the words I vowed not to say out loud, not to reveal to anyone, the same words I've dreamed to hear one day, they came from her, specially to me, and took away every defense, barrier, stress, preoccupation, worries and sadness I had. Left me there, pure to feel how I'd once felt. How she seemed to feel.
She walked to me singing, she came closer, the instruments slowly seemed to return to the music, but I didn't realize it. My mind was on her voice, on her words. She touched my chest, and slid her hand over my shoulder to my hand. She pulled me up from the chair and kept singing looking into my eyes, just a foot away.
That was it, it could not get any more perfect.
From the moment the song ended I knew, I had no doubt, not about this. Not one of the ones that kept me company along many long years. I have no idea why those words have such effect, I've heard others that seem more fit to me, but for some reason, those words are the words I'd like to hear someone sing to me, and she did it.
That's why she didn't come with me, or explain anything. It wasn't to see a show with her, it was to see her perform. Perform to me.
That was all I needed to hear, and then I knew.

Traffic
40 minutes.
Two police cars.
One ambulance.
One tow truck.
All of them passing through me.
And in the end, no accident where I passed.
Damn those 40 minutes of traffic.

Intermission
The wooden main stage. There, illuminated by the spotlight. People phasing in and out of the stage.
Only one is there at all times. At least at this stage.
He walks around. In front of a crate he tries to push it. No use.
He walks away.
In front of a fence he tries to jump. Fails.
He gets up and cleans the dirt in his clothes.
He walks to a nearby tree. He glances beyond it. People are there. People who were on stage.
He blinks.
The weight of his eyelids is too much. He closes them.
The weight passes to his body.
Too heavy. Too...heavy.
He let go of his balance.
Right into the ground.
Tumpf.
The curtains goes down.
Intermission...

Personal Inspiration
Or what I mean is a inspiring person.
How many great things in the world were done with a person as inspiration.
Songs, Paintings, Sculptures, Bridges, Supercomputers, Buildings, Cars, Houses, etc.
You see, people don't do things without purpose. As sad as it may sound, it's true (from all I've ever seen). People may do things with no personal gain, just to feel better about themselves, or the world, as a retribution, just to do something random (because it is funny, it unwinds people), because they want something in return and many other more obvious reasons. But in the end, all is done for a reason.
But great things require and extra effort. So they need and extra reason. This, usually, turns out to be a special person. Hell, people usually say they would die for the someone special. At least that is what is portrayed in many different places. I'd say he/she has to be an extremely special person, or your life means not much. So, if you're willing to die for someone you're basically willing to do anything in your power (short from killing others, but this depends on your own values). That's when you decide you'll do a song for him/her or a painting, buy a car, build one, do fantastic things.
This is good, well it seems good at least. Just be careful not to become a fanatic, because this is destructive, to yourself, the special person, and many people near you.
I say sometimes, I believe that we are so technologically advanced because we do incredible things to impress others and sometimes make them happy, many times all this aiming at our own personal gain in the immediate future. Good for the rest of the world.
I had my share of personal inspirations. Some led me to go overboard sometimes just to steal a smile from a sad face, sometimes to make someone embarrassed because it was fun, and she would enjoy. So many things. I guess I'm only here because I have something that inspires me to go on. And maybe this dream will make me pass through great challenges. I'm sad that all inspiration I had in people faded... leaving only but admiration, respect. Few are the people whose simple daily acts would make me go on, just because there is someone out there trying hard enough to make me want to try harder. And I think I know none of them.
But I get my personal inspiration from people who do not exist, fictional people. People who fit into the description above. Even knowing they only live in movies, cartoons, game, I know that what they stand for represents a forgotten part of humanity, the part for which I would fight to death.
It may not be for people I know. It may be for people who do not exist. But my actions will go out to people who I believe can one day understand what it is that I fight for.
I've seen many different inspirations, many irrational, but it feels like ages since I last saw anyone going through hell for someone. It is as if people are thinking more about themselves than others lately. Is this true?
Did you people lost your own personal inspirations?

The Holy Place in Lost Woods
Not that I wish to compare, it's not even as grand as the holy place in lost woods, but if any of you played The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, you can remember that time you search through lost wood for the Master Sword, and when you first get there, you go upwards through this opening in the woods towards the altar where it lies. At that moment your path is crossed by numerous animals, small animals, that playfully pass in front of you as you go for the sword.
This simple act, these animals, they symbolize their thrust in you, and that you are truly the chosen one, the hero of courage. I find that one scene very beautiful, even though it's simple.
Interestingly enough this post was triggered when I was leaving my house today, the sun breaking through the clouds, the cold air, warming sunlight, all this in the condo I live in, and suddenly a sequence of birds flew in front of my car, just like the scene in lost woods. I somehow reminded me of that. I felt... I felt... important.
I know... my condo is nothing like lost woods, I don't want to compare both, lost woods is a sacred place to me. But it sometimes feels good to imagine you're important, you're a hero destined to grandeur. I know I'm not, at least it does not look like, even though I would love to be a hero.
I saw a hero die, I saw what it's like when a hero dies, and I think, that's the way to die. But this is for the next post.
For now, think of the moments where nature makes you feel like you're a part of a much greater plan, of this mystic world where you're a hero. Dream on... it's good sometimes.

Destruction
With the passing of the time wave, all barriers shattered, leaving but a weakened body behind, wounded deep in his soul.
You regain consciousness, you feel the pain that will now follow you around for sometime.
You admit to yourself you broke the bond you struggled so much to keep.
You feel the other side of another bond shaking upon realizing the bond has been loosened.
During a sneeze you fell the piercing pain through your chest, sign of all the strains in your muscles.
You traverse through a this city, you knew it long ago. It lies in ruins. Only the shadows of your past to tell stories about the horrors of your life.
Sadly, even among such destruction, you feel indifferent. You heart does not pump like it used to anymore.
Good? Bad? Both?
I wish things didn't happen the way they did. At least the events in the past few weeks didn't need to happen.
Why...

Time Attack
You have 10 seconds to read this question and answer it.
...
time!
You have 3 seconds to breath, time your swing and get it right.
...
time!
You have 2 seconds to see the ball, calculate it's trajectory and swing at the right time.
...
time!
You have .5 seconds to watch the hand moving and tilt your body in the right direction.
...
time!

You have two weeks to finish four tasks, and any other eventual tasks you may get.
...
BUT!!! you have this new thing you wanna play, so you want to use your "free" time to play it. How long will you be able to play?
...
not enough time!!!

Time is always a problem. Considering it measures the how long it takes to do things, and we want to do more things than we can, it eventually will show you how little time you have.
Interesting enough, I put things in my life as a priority queue, where things I HAVE to do go first, then things I have to do so I will have time to do things I want, then things I want, then things I can do latter with no extra trouble, then things I should do but don't need to. Inside each category there is some hierarchy. Many people work this same way, but most (I think) work differently.
So, what do you do when you want to get more time? Sleep less? I guess this is the most common answer.
The thing is... in the end... when you stop, if you do, you'll look back, at everything you've done. You'll think that you done a lot. But you feel that you missed something, something you probably skipped through with all the rushing, and feel tired and kind of sad. You'll wish you had dedicated more time to things you thought important. Or in some cases, you'll just resume rushing so you don't think about these things.
Doing lots of things can lead to great things, enables you to do more. But generally it has a harsh drawback. You end up neglecting yourself, taking less care of yourself than you should with all the time you spend worrying about other things.
Then you stop...
then you breath...
then you look...
then you fall...
That's when you lean over a wall, slide to the ground, and sit alone until you feel energy to keep on going.
Hoping someone will randomly cross near your wall and stop to take the time to talk with you, and give you back that which you lost on the way.
Hopefully...
or maybe it's just me.

The Inner Triad
The base, the foundation. Many religions, many cults, many ways of seeing the world have their own interpretation of the inner triad.
One should have a strong body to face his enemies.
One should know when, who and why he should face anyone.
One should have the will to face things through, never backing down.
Most people know this as the Body, Mind, Soul Triad. I believe there should, most definitely, be a balance between them, but I find that the triad is just a little off the axis with this triad, so I convinced myself that this triad revolves in another terms. Terms many people are familiar with.
Power, Wisdom and Courage.
Yeah, call me a ripoff.
Power, yes this relates to the body. It's NOT about strength, it's about the physical power of the person, and the world around he/she. Strength alone is weak, limited by the material by which one is made. Power on the other hand relates to one's sync with the physical world around him/her. This is the power to perceive physical objects and shape, transform them, use their own strength as one's own. It represents the power to apply your inner forces into the world, becoming more agile, more precise, stronger, more resistant and healthier. This should not be neglected, as your life, depends on your health and resistance. Many martial arts go after this balance with the world around you, realizing that strength alone will no prevail, one learns to use his/her enemy's power on his/her favor.
Wisdom, the one associated with the mind. People believe that studying will enhance this side. Well, I'm not one to say they are wrong, but I'll say that that is not just it. It's not just about how much you know, it's about how you understand the world in its true form. If you've ever paid any attention to two people fighting, you should have seen that they mainly have different opinion about the subject. Which one is right? Probably none. This is where wisdom shows itself, because wisdom is understanding the multiple points of view on something, specially when it involves yourself. Realizing how even simple actions affect the world around you, snowballing into greater consequences by the second, is something difficult, but without this perception, we cannot keep balance in our lives. The balance involves not affecting others people's lives in bad or unwanted ways. Wisdom can come from reading, but more importantly, it comes from observing and understanding, may it be a book, a movie, an old tale or even real life. Lack of wisdom, will eventually lead to bad decisions, and even regrettable comments.
Courage. Put your soul into it. This common sentence represents what courage is about. It may be related to the soul, because it is the force that drives you to do what you want. Courage is not about doing insane things without thinking, courage is closer to understanding your fears and overcoming them when needed. Courages is having the will to face something you have no power to win, or pushing yourself beyond your limits. Courage may resemble stupidity, but when it comes down to it, a courageous person will raise again and again, to fight for their believes, and for the sake of what really matters. Courage is important, without it one will never step up to the challenges, and won't try again upon failure. This may seem simple, but the sheer will to keep on going may move mountains.
This is a careful and delicate balance, very hard to achieve. But the basis to being strong person. This balance may break through almost every wall.
If you feel you lack anyone of these, do your best to find your equilibrium, if it is your will.

The life, the universe and everything

It's been like what? Ten years? more...
Last time I have no recollection of when it was, or where it was. What I recall is that my father took me there, and I was amazed buy the beauty of it, and mostly glad to hear that the Scorpio constelation is the one that resembles the most what it should resemble, a scorpion. I even memorized the disposition of the stars, though I have no idea where it is placed in the sky night. I have some trouble finding Antares...
I have some luck to live in a place a bit away from the metropolis, so I'm blessed with a mind blowing sky from time to time. Of course, I can't scape the fact that I live near a metropoli so the sky isn' t nearly as beautiful as it can be. This I'll never forget, some years ago, I went with my friends from college to this sporting event in another town, mainly a grand excuse to go drinking. On the way, just out of the interstate, we were on this very little road, an there were no light to be seen in any direction, only the headlights of the car... it was around 11:00 pm. So I stopped the car and turned off the lights. It took some time for us to adapt to the no-light situation. I got out of the car and my breathing stopped, paralized by the sight of the sky. Look at all those stars, about 100 times more stars than I'm used to see. Awesome.
Going back to topic. I went to the planetarium this weekend, and took another shot at seeing stars. this machine a very interesting projector, could generate grand images.
The session started with a general message about environment consciousness, the ones that say about preserving nature, and that we humans are recklessly using the natural resourcess of the planet. Then it went into space, talking about mithology and the stars, planets. It had some strange charts with lots of numerical data which I believe was needlessly confusing to any one who isn't studying math related colleges. It had some nice projections, but some very weak powerpoint like presentations.
Sadly, it didn't get into the sign constelations, it barely mentioned the greek constelations.
I like the sky, gazing upon infinity, remembering that in universal context I'm basicly nothing, a insignificant dot trying to life his life on his randomly placed planet.
All that matters is the beauty of it... and of course the good company.

~ The Adventurer Chronicle 25 ~
"... looked at it, and sat back.
- Well, ok. It was some years ago when I finished my training with Ofaristat, my master. I left there with no place to go, I had no objective, so I thought of something that would occupy me for some time, and probably would be beautiful. I went out to find the source of most pure energy in the world.
- I mean like one of those springs where lots of energy get concentrated? - Asked Artanis.
- Yes.
- But aren't those rare?
- That's what made searching for them so entertaining. I had many adventures during the time I spent searching. It was my chance to train what I've learned, and acquire some spells, and equipment. So after some months of searching I managed to find the fabled spring of most pure energy. It was strange and hard to find. Nature seemed to twist around it trying to hide it, so despite the huge amount of energy concentrated, I didn't feel it until a certain point. After some barrier of sort I could feel the energy, it was huge, it took me some time before I got adapted to so much energy and could walk again. Then I just searched a bit until I came upon a little clearing, with a pond in the middle. The pond emitted a strong glow that reflected in many colors on the trees. The pond had about 10 meters from side to side, but it seemed to have no bottom.
- Amazing! - the girls said to each other in a low voice.
- So, I didn't want to mix up impure energies so I took of my equipment and clothes and dove into the pond.
- Sure like you have the most pure energies. - mocked Cid.
- I did what I could. So, the water was perfect, in the lack of a better word. I've never felt so great. The energy seemed to flow with me, carrying me with it, and I felt part of the world. But something was not exactly right. The energy was incredibly pure, but it wasn't the purest energy there, so I looked around. After some time when I dove under water and looked around I saw a bright light deep down into the pond, the energy seemed to come from there. So I went up, got my air back and put on my wind inducer ring, - he said showing the simple green ring on his left hand - and created a bubble of air so I could breath under water. And dove deep into the pond.
Maelstron paused shortly and walked to a nearby rock. He took the sword and stabbed it into the rock.
- At first going down was kind of easy, but after sometime, as I got nearer to the light the flow of energy began to get to strong to go on, it was pushing me away. So I concentrated my energy and put a greater effort to go down a bit more. Some time latter I was close to the light, it was greater than I could see from the up there. I was trying to get past this place, but I could barely see anything let alone keep up against the flow of energy. Something caught my attention. There was something solid in there, maybe a rock to stand in, I tried to reach for it, and when I got near I notice a handle out there, from the rock, just like this. - he pointed to the sword's handle - But the light was so much I could see nothing more, so I used the handle to pull myself onto the rock. I held the handle with my two hands and stepped on the rock, the energy was immense so I had to hold on with all my strength. Even if my mind was focused on holding on, I felt happy, the energy was so pure, it was fantastic.
- So the sword was down there in the rock? - asked Selina.
- My attention turned to reality when I realized that the handle, even though it looked like made of stone, was indeed metallic. I trying touching things around there, but my senses were mostly numb from the mass energy, so I I tried to pull the thing out of the rock. I put all my energy into it, and when I was about exhausted I felt the handle loosen a bit. That was when this incredibly huge energy engulfed me in this bright light and I lost consciousness. When I woke up I was lying down in the clearing near my clothes and equips, and there was this sword in my hand still shinning a bit. I could..."
~ End of Part 25 ~

The Triple Triad
No, not the card game, even if the game is awesome.
This is a concept I've been fiddling for many years now. Like when they say you have to keep your mind and body at a balance.
This is what my "religion" believes to be the structure of balance. And since I have NO religion, this mainly is what I believe to the points needed to be balanced.
Is not about mind and body, it is about much more. There are four main axis of balance, being three parallel and one connecting them.
Hence the name, there are there (triple) axis to balance, each one having three things (triad) to balance. Once each axis is balanced, you have to balance them all.
I can't say what is to be achieved by all this balance. I think this balance is what makes one a good person, whatever good may mean. I could say that this balance is what gives one the power to overcome most challenges in life.
Why do we need balance?
Well, in nature we see the first law:
"The strong will survive and the weak shall perish" ~ Survival of the fittest.
If we observe, we see that each animal prays on the weakness of its enemy. I know we are probably the only species not to be threatened by another living being, (Of course we have diseases, but not the point), but even so, we can become better in some way by overcoming our weakness', right?
So, take a generic geek. During his life, he's prone to suffer for his lack of strength, or social skills. (if you have anyone of these, you're NOT the geek in the example)
Take the usual jock. He may have troubles in life, developing new skills, and studying due to lack of mind development. (Same goes here.)
Take the generic good looking girl. She has the jocks do the physical stuff for her, and the geeks do her homework, so she only gets her social skills trained. (Once again...)
Sure they may excel in their area. But a geek who knows how to socialize and practices sports, will have a better health and fun, and will be as good in the geeky department as any generic geek.
This is just to show how balance in life can improve it.
More on The Triple Triad soon. One Triad at a time.
" If qualities of Heaven are your desire,
Acquire wisdom and knowledge to take your mind higher.
If Earthly qualities are what you lack,
Train your body in the fields and prepare to attack.
When Heaven and Earth are opened together,
The perilous path will become righteous forever." ~ Naruto, ep 37.

Dog Meat
Do any of you have pets? Most people I know do.
Have you ever hear someone say: "Don't give your dog stake, or it will never eat dog food again."?
Well I've heard, but my dog kind of eats everything he can get, including napkins and eventual spiders.
But I suppose this is true. Some dogs may become a tad picky when they're fed good quality food, like a stake, a lobster or lasagna. I'm not saying it is normal to feed your dog these kinds of food, I for one find it kind of weird, but it's not my point here today.
Guess it is only natural for the dog to want more of the good stuff, when the alternative is generic dog food. No matter how well they may pitch it in television, it will never taste better than a slice of barbecued meat.
I guess people are not much different, at least I know I'm not. For example, I almost always drink the drink I like most, if I discover a better drink, I'll start drinking that one. If possible, and not too troublesome, I'll drink, eat and do whatever I prefer to.
But there is a syndrome related. Like when the dog won't eat ANYTHING but the best.
People think I'm like this. What I think is that I just LIKE less things.
I've tasted many things that I would say are perfect, but contrary to what people think, I will and do, eat a food that is not the best and I'll find it VERY tasty.
See, the problem is. People complain a lot, and it is common for people to complain that a food is not perfect. I say, as a person with a peculiarly bad taste, I'm just glad to eat something I like, it may not be the best I've had, but it is tasty.
I eat things I don't like, it's part of life. I taste everything at least once. In the end it's all just to pass through another meal.
But remember this.
I've been told to be very picky about things. But I guess people don't see that they are picky on their own. Next time you want to complain about something, think first if it is so bad, or just not perfect.
I'd rather hear someone say he does not like the type of food, even if I like, than to hear that it is not good, not even close to some other that they consider perfect.
This is NOT about food, figure it out.

One Gate
Time was passing normally, I had no rush, so I was enjoying the fact that I had some free time to get to my destination. Forward, stop, look around, listen to the music, forward again.
Nothing out of the ordinary, but in the end, special moments never happen in a very confusing, full of changes, weird day, they happen when you least expect, in a most ordinary day.
There it was. Right above the bridge. That old bridge, not much of an eye candy, more close to visual pollution, it had the center a bit lower than the edges, and being of solid stone (cement?) it made two straight lines forming a "very wide" letter V. People were crossing, with no attention paid to what scenery filled the background to their side, they merely went on with their day, on that routine that like me, they had to face everyday, but contrary to them, I learned early that the beauty of life lays hidden around every corner, just waiting to smile to a more observant person.
During the stop in my mind boring routine of getting to the place I had to be but had no rush in getting there. I raised my eyes a bit, and seeing through the gentle silhouette of the unsuspecting people crossing the not so far bridge, I saw the sun.
Some can say, what about it? It's been there for like billions of years and would still be there for more billions, so what's so damn interesting now?
Sure, I've grown tired of having the burning sunlight shinning upon my eyes, blinding my path every day. But this was oddly different. Sometimes there is a mist, but I always surfaced on the sides, far from my path. This was new, the mist took over in from of me, blocking my vision from far away.
And all these oddities combined generated such a marvelous view. The sun fighting against the mist, trying to break through and shine over a deserving soul, while the mist held strong, but the reflection of the light could only break through and reveal the trees in a nearby "forest" specially this one tall tree that bent over the path, just a bit taller than the bridge, and some meters behind it. One could see the silhouette of the tree, not enough to see leaves, but just to see it on the other side of the mist, trying to reveal to all people, even those not paying attention, that the path followed, and the tree was a mark to be seen.
Simple, the sun, the mist, a tree, and a bridge. And the gate to a better place should have been open. Someone must have passed. It seems like a better place.
But I must follow my way, I have to be somewhere, even if I don't have any hurry to get there.

With the flick of a finger
As anyone I believe myself to be stronger, not physically, than most people. Of course, I know my limits.
But I'm impressed to see how easy I can fall down.
The simple flick of a finger is enough to tilt me into falling.
Something as simple as... breaking my ice cream cup. Not that ordinary cup, but one my mom bought years ago when we lunched together on a certain restaurant. A cup I probably can't get again.
So simple.
So nerve breaking.
So sad.
I wonder why it make me so sad, it's supposed to be just glass breaking, and I've broken many glasses through life.



Why?

Fear
One of the most basic instincts. One we can't control, or understand. Some people say we fear the unknown, I agree. Fear is simply a sensation from the adrenaline rushing through one's blood. Biologically speaking fear is just a stimulus to produce adrenaline which itself makes us faster, increases our reflex, makes us stronger and braver. This is mainly for our survival, I guess most, if not all, animals have the same mechanism, they even say to kill chicken fast and painless, so they won't produce adrenaline which tensions all the muscles.
So, when someone asks you what fear is, you can say it is the production of adrenaline in your body to make you more powerful. But like everything in life, you can tell it like it is, or you can embellish it. I'd like to try the second.
So I've been thinking, (about two weeks ago), fear could be compared to a door. We say that in life we walk through lots of paths. So it would be only logic to say that we don't trail one certain path because there is a locked door in the way.
You fear losing someone you like, so you get afraid of going forward. This in life is usually unavoidable, so eventually life will push you forward through that door.
You fear dying, so take one doors that seem to avoid your death, even though the other doors may lead to a perfect future and life.
You fear an animal, so you take doors that don't make you meet such beast.
What causes a door to be locked? Is it such unconditional fear, that no logic can understand? I'd say it is. Some of our fears go unexplained, we don't, or can't, reason with them. Like fear of heights, speed, people, flying on a plane or even the fear to speak in public, this like I've heard is number one reason of fear in the U.S., while Death is second.
We fell our lives threatened, so we are afraid. It is the same fear that keeps me from going on big roller coasters. I have no reason to fear such a fun ride, many people a day go on it and nothing happens, even so I'm held back by a force beyond my power, a lock. The same goes everyday with people who are afraid of flying.
In many cases people pull up some courage to unlock those doors. So the metaphor goes on comparing courage as a key.
As we walk through life we find many doors in our way. Some we would like to cross, but don't have the key, some we don't want to cross even when we have the key.
But many people try to make the best to open some doors. Usually there is a reason to get to the other side. A love, a friend, a job or just family.
We do not have all the keys, sometimes the key to that door may be with the people you know, or even with people you never met. If you wish to get to the other side, muster all the power you can and see if you have the key, if you don't, don't be afraid of asking people you know for help to get on the other side, they may just have the words that hold the key.
There are many things other than fear that may be locking a door. But the same as with fear, someone has to have that key, so go on search for it.
We let our fears hold out part of our lives, we take trails we'd rather not, we hurt people, we hurt ourselves, we become unhappy because we can't face our fears. Maybe it is something unknown, maybe you won't like it, but we eventually change, that is absolute. One day you may cross one door and end up liking something you've been afraid your whole life, so why wait? If you have no better path to chose, if there is nothing more important in your life to do now, face the uncharted. Go on to places you've never seen, even if it is only inside yourself. Never hold back on what could be better because of your fears. Don't avoid doors because of it, that way your feelings may turn to hate, pain, jealousy, envy, grudge and even worse.
Whenever possible find a new key and open those doors. Like the Sunscreen song tells: "Do one thing everyday that scares you!"
I'm not saying to open doors that seem stupid to open, only to find the key that is well hidden inside of you. You may need it in the future.
And if ever possible, find a master key. The one that will open all your doors when needed, or all doors locked by fear. I have mine, do you have yours?

~ The Adventurer Chronicle 24 ~
" - So, what does it read? - asked Cid impatiently looking back through the door they came.
- Well... if my translation is correct, it should be something like this. "Your passage, is only but a test, so to be worth of something you must prove your value. One may only enter through the barrier with the burden of the ten curses in this room."
- Curses, what does it mean curses, like when you curse someone for doing something wrong? - asked the whipmaster.
- No not quite. It is more personal. Its like any spiritual power, it just... wait you don't know about curses?
By this point the group was looking oddly to her, and the question only made everyone look around at each other to see if anyone knew what she meant. The collective look she got back only indicated they did not.
- Well, - she explained - curses are spiritual powers, just like any other power, but they are used and applied in a more specific way. It was very common way to user our powers, but it was abandoned many ages ago since it only brought destruction. Curses can't be used to restore, and heal. Well, that is what my mother told me. Apparently curses can be used by anyone, but if you are not familiar with the basis of the concept of cursing, you can only do curses related to your elemental power.
- So you know how to use these curse powers. - asked Maelstron.
- Well, it is not what I developed, but I know some very basic curses my mother taught me.
- So you can tell us what are these ten curses over here. - Cid said pointing to runes carvings in the walls of the room.
- Well, you know... - she blushed - I can try.
As she started to read the runes, Maelstron headed for the door, and started an incantation. After some seconds he cast a major illusion over the place to try to cover their tracks. As he was finishing the incantation Selina finished deciphering what she could read.
- As I expected I can't make out what the other seven curses are, but these three I've seen something similar. This one is a curse of movement, probably we won't be able to use any special movement inside. This is a spell block curse, basically no spell casting with this curse. And if I'm not mistaken, the last one should be recovery curse, we can't recover health naturally.
- If those are three of the ten curses, I imagine this will be most challenging.
- Yeah, we are so used to using our powers.
- So, shall we?
Everyone looked around. They knew they had to go on. But most of them were scared, not only they could not use most of their power, but they didn't know what other curses would there be to impair them. Of course..."
~ End of Part 24 ~

Immortalization
Immortal, one who cannot die. Many people dreamed about being immortal, but from my point of seeing, immortality will only lead you to seeing your loved ones die. To some people it may be time to wander through a vast planet, and experience and infinity of new sensations.
But working on the real of Earth, where we know not how to be immortal, what does this word mean? Well, I agree with some points of view on this, but to put it simple, no one lives forever and that is that. So I take that immortalization is just as some people say. To have your name echoed through eternity.
Albert Einstein, John Lennon, Leonardo da Vince, Beethoven, Shakespeare, Walt Disney, Mahatma Gandhi. People who are worldly know, and will be heard through history for a long time, even though some have just recently become part of history.
Once again, an old concept that many people are familiar with. And I risk to say many dream of becoming part of history.
Do I? Yeah, why not. I just want to give back to the industry that gave me so many great moments. I'll strive to have my name known as a great part of it, but I don't care if my name is ever mentioned long after I am gone.
Of course, we all want to be recognized.
Immortalization is just a step further, a large step. But what does it take to become part of history.
Well there are many things one can do. I have no clue to most of them since my connection to history is very low. But I have my own take about it.
From the ways to become part of history, there is only one I truly respect. The others are not as meaningful as this one is, but on this selection many people who deserved to be here may be left out. Of course one can try to kill the pope, the president or any person greatly known to the world, but this is NOT a respectful way of putting your name into history.
If you look back to these people, they have something in common with each other. They all did something, or mostly many things, that marked an era, a turning point, and with that had their names immortalized. It may have been a song, many songs, a work, a collection of works, masterpieces, ideals, or simply a revolutionary discovery. None of them where fools, or lazy. They may not have been rightful people, they may have been evil, clueless or simply nuts. But they had it in them to put more then everything they could into their work/passion, so that their accomplishments were nothing short from perfect. They may not have been perfect, but they had more in them than most things through centuries.
One whose dedication to one's work exceeds that normal human limit. Those who work to be more than best. Those who are true to themselves and will make their dreams into reality.
Those are the ones who deserve to have their names wrought into history. After all, a name to be told through ages, should be worth saying.
This comes after a song compiling John Williams' works. After some research on him, mostly wikipedia, I saw what a great guy he was, and even if his name may not be worldly known, at least his work is. You heard it, 99% sure. The theme from Superman, from Indiana Jones, from Star Wars, E.T., Jaws and many others. His contribution to the music/film industry should be nothing less than an inspiration for the new artists to do a more than best job.
Like the song ends:
"John Williams is the man!"
Do you wish to have your name into history? Then do something to deserve, and when you do... don't stop!

Dreams from the Realm of Impossible.
Dreams, are they just impossible things we want in life?
I am one to believe that dreams are just a goal we set for ourselves to keep us going.
But I find myself often daydreaming about things that I am mostly certain that will NEVER happen.
That girl that would never waste a day with you, coming and just sleep on you lap from the gentle caress in her hair.
That friend who almost never calls you, takes the phone and calls you for the weekend in his house.
What to do if you won the lottery.
What if back then she had said it differently.
People say that wondering what could have been is a bad thing. That it holds your life back. But then again, I don't respect most people's opinion. Besides, I've seen so many people making the same mistakes over and over, they could learn a bit from their own past if they only looked.
This world is too big. Even there being too many humans, this world is too big for anything to be done.
We can't see the whole world, even if we can trick ourselves into satisfaction.
We can't meet everyone, there is just not enough time, and each person you meet means someone is dying and therefore one less to meet, at the same time many people are born, meaning MORE people to meet.
We can't play every game, see every movie, read every book, listen to every music and so on.
Of course. That only means we have to enjoy every moment of our lives. Hehehe, now I sound just like those motivational speakers.
But like anyone, all we want is to experience things that makes us feel good, that is, being happy.
And according to the first Law of Murphy, most of the times that won't happen, (excluding those people who actually manage to pull it). So it is perfectly natural to wonder what if it DID go the way you wanted.
What if he/she said yes instead of no.
This thought may have passed through the head of about 80% of the world population. Of course, where I study we have the saying the all statistical figures are made right on the spot, therefore meaning nothing, but I find it accurate enough for my argument here.
I take some pleasure to imagine what my life would be if things were different. I learn a lot about myself that way.
I've seen some people talk with regret about their past. I would lie if I said I didn't do that. But I've learned a long time ago not to grow regret, because it only makes you feel bad about things you can't change.
It is a new world.
Sometimes we fail to realize this, but we made so many choices along our lives. They are from the simple second you took to go after someone, to what you said that moment that you could have said better.
Each time you take a decision, or fail to take one, your life goes down one path. There are so many paths left behind. So many great paths. Many of them were not just up to you, but they were possible at one moment.
Some paths are special to us. We treasure them, and many times we dream about them. These special treasures are usually related to our young dreams. Should we abandon them? No. But we can never get too attached to something too far from our every day life.
Just work to get on the path you want, and never forget how your dreams are important.
Spend some time once a month, to see your past choices, and to plan your next action to get on course.
Never say you didn't have a choice. You had, many. And never despair, you'll always have many choices to make.
So many what ifs...

A Small Talk in the Dark
- I know I shouldn't react like this anymore. But somethings are out of my power to control. - said the young boy tossing a stone into the lake.
- We've all been there. What to do? You can always leave forever, but is that a feasible solution? - replied the girl next to him gazing into the lake, and observing the clashing ripples in the water.
The boy stood up and walked towards the lake. He stopped and just looked the reflection of the moon in the water. A few seconds latter the ripples arrived scrambling the image he observed, as thus breaking his trail of thoughts and spilling it over his voice.
- I don't want to run away, I liked what I had. If only I didn't feel this way I could enjoy it. Instead of that I feel more and more split apart.
- Sure, you don't want to see anyone, at least not anyone who is capable of hurting you, but on the other hand you don't want to be alone.
- No one wants.
- Agreed. - she said getting up silently - So you need someone who wants to be with you. - and saying that she rushed to shove him into the lake.
He tried to avoid falling by stepping into the water, but on the third step the water resistance made him lose his balance, and so he fell into the water.
She stood there near the lake, just giggling. He rose from the water, his clothes completely soaked, sticking to his body, his hair somewhat muddy and falling in his face. He took some water off his face and opened his eyes directly at her.
- What the hell?
She laughed a bit.
- Yeah you're right, I should go after someone who wants to be with me. You want to be with me right? - he said looking deeply towards her, and walking near her. She kept giggling but started to back up a bit - So come her and give me a hug.
She turned around to run, but she was stopped by a hand firmly holding her wrist. He pulled her near him and grappled her. He started to drag her to the lake, she struggled a bit.
- No, don't even think about it.
- What, you don't want to be with me? Ok then, - he said turning around and holding her in front of him with the lake behind her - you can just sit with the fish.
Her eyes opened wide as he held her shoulders and pushed her into the lake. She went directly down, without trying to keep her balance, but tried to soften the fall with her hands. She splashed into the water, but as she fell sitting part of her didn't get wet. Part of her knee, hair and from the breasts up didn't get much soaked as the rest of her, they just got sprinkled with some of the splashing water.
He went back to the tree, took off his shirt and tried to get his chest dry.
- You're mean! - she said in a childish but yet giggly voice. Then she got up and walked near him.
- Oh sorry, maybe I should have stayed wet while you were dry.
She just smiled at him. They didn't say anything for about half a minute.
- You know, it is not about what could have been. If it didn't go the way you wanted, just try to make the best out of your new situation.
- Sure. - he looked down - But eventually I'll get tired of things not going how I would like. It's just so many good opportunities wasted just because people don't see things as I do.
- I know it's hard to find someone who has so much in common with you. That's why so many people end up never getting married.
- And it's not even about love in my case.
- But it's still hard. - she said putting her left hand in his arm, and her right hand in his left hand.
- Yes. I just thought that I would find a place where I could identify myself to people, and would therefore find someone. But I end up with the person who has most in common with me is the one who came into my life the most randomly.
- The usual when you least expect right? But there are other who care about you.
- Sure, they just don't have enough time to spend with me, or very little in common.
- And those who do have the time and same interests, just lack the perception of friendship you have, and therefore they don't do the simple things you would like them to.
He sat on the tree once again. Silence held for some time. The mud in the lake feel silently into the ground, clearing the water as the ripples just faded. She sat by his side. A group of ducks swum nearby, eventually diving to wet their heads, or do whatever ducks do that for.
- Even with the occasional arguing, and the pushing into the lake, this is much better. Having someone who is not running around constantly doing things, never stopping to talk with you, or spend a day without worries, just a day to relax, is good. Like this.
- You lead a very calm life, sure of what you want to do with it. Too bad you're doing it alone. Many people prefer to have a busy life. But occasionally you'll find someone who can do this with you more often. I guess it's only a matter of finding someone who likes you, and has this kind of time.
- You know that's not enough. But from this point I would be too picky to ask more right?
- Well, each person has it's own demands about life. Most ignore them, but if you pay attention closely you'll see...
- That everyone is picky about something, and for some reason they still manage to get what they want.
- Yep.
- I wonder...
Silence fell again.
- Yes, don't worry. You'll find someone in your life that is like in your dreams. Just lay down a little on your simple hopes of people changing and being nice to you, or doing things you would like them to. Spare yourself.
- Yeah, it's their loss right?
- Heh, maybe. You just don't deserve to suffer for people who are not concerned about you.
- No one does. No one should.
- But humans like to suffer. Hehehehe.
- That they do.
The night went silent. The few stars in the sky blinked endlessly. The lights on the streets kept the place just lit enough to see around. They wrapped their arms around each other to keep their bodies warm.
"This is nice. This is what I want. Support, understanding." - he thought.
She smiled.

~ The Adventurer Chronicle 23 ~
"The door closed behind them. The window of the room was still open, it gave a little light to the room coming from the town square just outside the inn. The simple room had two beds, one desk and a big closet. The door near the closet led to the bathroom.
They dropped their bags on the corner and headed for their beds. Maelstron stopped half way staring at the wall near his bed.
- What is it? Something wrong? - asked Cid while taking the bed sheet off his bed.
- Yes. Something is not in place here. But I can't get a good reading.
- Ok, wait on a second while I scan this place.
Cid grabbed his bag took to his bed and sat down while he searched in it for the scanner. Maelstron kept looking around the room, just standing there in the middle, his eyes passed through the beds, but they felt normal, he looked toward the window, someone could enter it during the night, but that would make him up, so that was not a problem.
- Got it. - said Cid turning on the scanner. - Lets see what is going on in this area.
Maelstron turned to the rest of the room, the closet, seemed to be empty, so nothing there. Same thing with the desk. Then he turned back, looking at the door. The dark brown wooden door appeared to be nothing out of the ordinary, but there seemed to be something wrong in that direction. But what was it? Could it be in another room? No, the feeling would be fainter. But what was wrong with the door? He look to both sides of it expecting to spot a clue.
- Well, there seems to be five active spells surrounding this inn.
- What? - ask Maelstron with a surprised expression on his face. He turned towards Cid to see what that was about.
At that moment Cid look at him to tell the active spells, but his words got stuck when he saw a person move from the wall near the door up to behind his friend with a thin blade in his hand ready for strike. His tried to yell watch out, but for some reason the words didn't come out. He glanced at the scanner, some new spell just went active.
Maelstron look a bit confused seeing Cid mutter words that didn't come out. But soon the situation came clear when the flesh ripping feeling slid through his back, and his yell of pain vanished with his breath. Cid didn't have much time to think as the second person charged from the same wall as the other. He reached for his pole, standing between his nightstand and the bed, he nearly had time to block the sword from his aggressor.
The pain in his back was not the greatest, hell he had far much worse wounds, but being surprise attacked was fairly disappointing. But if this happened to him, what would have gone in the girls room? This drew his attention to the pressing matter, no time to waste. He quickly turned to face his opponent, and grabbed the arm holding the blood stained weapon. As he looked back his sense got hold of the rune of silence in the door, it was quite imperceptible but his sense was good. So with a quick movement he twisted the arms of his aggressor, and took the blade of his hands. Holding him facing the window he took the blade and thrust it into the door breaking the seal.
- Take care of these guys! I'll go check the girls.
- Ok, go on.
With that said he pushed his captive for the window and with a weak blast of energy he threw him out the window. He rushed towards the wall that separated their room from the girls', a dark round portal formed just some centimeters from the wall and he disappeared into it. While this Cid had kick the enemy back and was now standing facing him. He had to be careful, the room wasn't big enough for him to swing his pole freely. So with a faint attack he diverted the enemy attention and swung to hit his waist, connecting without trouble. He put some strength into it and swung his opponent a bit around the room and out of the window, already broken by his comrade.
So now he could take the battle outside where he could attack with the glaive without fear of destroying the place. As he jumped out the window he noticed there was only one enemy out there to face.
- ...... scan for the other enemy!
He gripped the glaive and swung down on the visible enemy. He blocked the attack, but was staggered by the blow, Cid was much stronger than him. Cid took this opportunity to swing with all his power, connecting with his enemy ribs. This knocked him very far, with great pain. He stood there on the ground just trying to grip himself and endure the pain. Cid was now preparing to attack the other one, he concentrated his energy, he just needed to know where the other one was.
His wrist watch glowed with the map of the area, where a green dot indicated the position of the hidden enemy. With a concentrated swing of his weapon Cid created a succession of wind blasts the flew towards his enemy, catching him off his guard taking a full blow and lending unconscious on the ground. Cid walked ..."
~ End of Part 23 ~

Shimmering Limits
It seems as I've wondered near my limits.
It's not that limit all know so well between good and evil. It's a strange place. Deep within the darkness, following the very dark blue lights you come to a place very isolated. The sound of a nearby waterfall fills the air, the smell of wet flowers and the mix of fear are all around me. There is little light mostly coming from the ground. The sky seems brown, but it's so dark up there it is hard to tell, there are some occasional lightning bolt crossing it. On the ground several lines cross. The emit a very faint white, blue light. But they don't seem to be crossing altogether, they are.... they.... they are shimmering.
These lines, they mark the limit. Limit between lots of things, where love turns to hate, where sanity ends, where you take decisions opposed to your own preferences. Thats why they are not still, because limits have thin boundaries, that are unclear.
As I stand there, where the crossing lines oscillate from one side to another, I find my own will to be doubtful. There is also a voice a heard recently, that seems to reverberate with the same feeling as me, at least in part. What do I want? I can't seem to find something I really want, that is, I know what my heart wants, but I know not if it now will make me happy.
I don't was has happened. I've just been walking, lately I haven't been alone, at least not physically, but it somehow drove me to will being completely alone. Maybe it is just a reaction to being constantly surrounded by people and feeling so apart from them, not personal connection.
I've know I was different for a long time, but never have I felt so left out. Standing in the limit is making me confused, this time I think I wandered too far.
So against my normal way, I think being alone is best, even if I wish I had someone by my side. I guess, what I really wish for, is someone who is a little more like me, someone who wants my by his/her side. Of course, maybe this is just because of that little voice I heard. I'd just like more meaningful relationships. Hehehe, or I just miss having a good game to play.
Well, since I'm here, might as well enjoy it. Let's sit there by that tree, and rest a little, by the sound of running water. Such peace.

Criticism?
So, we have been getting a lot of new movies coming to the theater near us. As usual. There is so many movies to go around that we could spend a lot of time seeing them if we wished it. Of course, humans are selective, so no one wouldn't just any movie.
But what is the criteria do decide which movie is worth the two hours it takes from your life?
Some people pay attention to what their friends say. This could be good for them, so long as they share a generally common opinion with their friends, or respect their opinion about movies. Of course this situation is fairly uncommon.
Other see what movie critics say. Have you ever stopped to analyze their opinion? These "critics" are people selected from an elitist group whose only interest in movies are those which make them think, or in my playful point of view, movies which get very interesting when using marijuana. I've seen a lot of movies and read the reviews, and I find that their opinion many times couldn't be farther away from mine. Guess to some people they could serve the criteria purpose.
Internet sites of movie reviews?! Same problem as before, except that these people are not all with the same opinion, but they go to the limit with the word critic. It's not that most movies ARE good, most of them aren't, but to them, everything is a defect. It's less about being an enjoyable film or not, and more about finding what's wrong with it. I'd say their opinion is as respectable as one from a slug. But hey ^^, some people like it.
So if you're not in the above situations, where are you?! On the side of those who simply DON'T CARE. People who don't care what the critics said, what their friends think and what is the gossip on the internet. They may take in consideration all that they hear, but in the end their on opinion is taken much stronger than others'. This category will fail to see movies of their liking less than other, but have an incredibly higher chance of wasting two hours of their lives. Bring something to do in the theater in this case XD.
The thing is. There will never be a way to know how good is something before time. But it is up to us to chose what is more worth, wasting two hours to possibly get a good movie, or not seeing the movie and risking to never see a perfectly good movie.
This applies not only to movies, but to books as well, and to any other art or entertainment. The simple question if is worth your time. There are some many good movies out there, good books, good game, beautiful scenery and wonderful foods. We don't have time to enjoy them all, and that's why we are do demanding.
But next time you find yourself wasting completely two hours, just think that you could have risked seeing a great movie.
Just one last thing that I don't get. When did we get so critic about cinema? You see many great, or simply interesting movies, and for some reason I don't get everyone is talking bad about it. When did old morals, those seen in many Disney movies, turn to a bad thing? I've seen a lot of people criticize badly a movie just because it preaches morals of good, honesty, friendship, righteousness and honor. Why? Some people say a movie is not good because it has nothing NEW. Come on people, we all know that we used much more than most people could imagine, it's freaking hard to create something unseen. Just because a movie uses some catch that has been used a lot, doesn't mean it's a bad movie.
I for one, have very few regrets of movies seen. Some I like to joke saying they don't deserve the name they carry, but I think they're good nonetheless. I see children movies, comedies, romantic movies, thriller, some drama, I've seen some horror, scientific fiction and of course action movies. They're all nice to me, serve the purpose of wasting two hours of my life
with an enjoyable movie. Of course I prefer some genres, and some movies I've seen only to make company to someone, but none of them were as bad as I hear people talking around about some movies. I wonder why?

A Refuge
For the past days, and some days two weeks ago, I have read almost all of my blog, this all for the purpose of labeling my posts accordingly.
It is interesting to see all that has been written here. I look at old poetries and think that I used to be a good poetry writer, I think of my old inspirations, maybe I used to have more of them. There is also many analysis about life, which reflects mostly my point of view about this world. I see also my old sorrows, and realize that a lot has gone by, I've been through many things, and of course I whined quite a lot. And last, there is my Chronicles, which are very important to me, and where I put most my writing efforts.
Now, after a ten day trip, I see more than ever that this blog has become a great part of my life. It's not like a journal, I do not write my everyday events. Its not a diary where one talks about one's life, nor a place for confessions. It is what it is, a Whirlpool of Thoughts, my thoughts. I am an observer, most of my time, even while doing other things, I am constantly observing life, the mere cause and consequence of actions, and with so I never stop thinking about things. For many reasons I have no one to tell these thoughts. No one interested in hearing my Chronicles and discussing the history behind my book, no one there to hear me whine(at least not anymore) and none who has shown any sign of interest in my point of view of life. This is why I found an alternative, a place to put my thoughts out, and leave them out through time and space.
Oddly enough, even though this is a big part of my life, I never actually shared it with anyone. I never hid it, or would lie about it, I just failed to see a reason to tell people about it. I'm not a fan of all that, "Hey here's the link to my blog/flog, pleas comment.", and I had very few people who gave me reasons to tell them about this part of me. Of course the lack of proper approach to the subject, and failed external interest, no one asked me, so I personally told about this place to very few people. But during some times, it was there for people to discover, and I leave it to people who are paying attention, and of course are interested.
I would lie if I said I didn't want lots of people reading my blog and always commenting. As it reflects part of my life I think that some people would be bothered or feel awkward about somethings if they read it, besides, its always sad to see someone fail to give attention to something important to you because they are not interested.
On the good side, my choices led to very interesting surprises, as with each new person showing their interest, showing they actually read this and commenting I felt a little happier. Some people paid attention to the simple signs, some were at the right place at the right time and some just stumbled upon this place. And it feels great to see people showing interest in my life.
This place became special to me, and I hope it brings interesting and exciting things to someone else's life. I want to post more often, but of course I am limited by time and creativity. My chronicles, I have so many ideas for it, but its hard to find the words, and since they are very important to me, I put much effort into them, mustering all my expertise into my writing skills, so they can be the best, and I try not to post until they are satisfying.
As time passes many things may change, but I think I won't stop writing here anytime soon. Maybe in time this may become a very interesting place for people to read, and I hope everyone that reads it enjoys it more with each post. This is just a part of the great whirlpool of thoughts that is my mind.
Thanks for your comments. And for those who accompanied me through the hardest time of my life.
If I get the inspiration back I may post some poetry.
I'll try to put the chronicles more often.
If anyone wants to see my opinion on a subject, or a creative post about something, just put a comment or e-mail me. It never hurts to get new subjects.
And I'll try to set up Picasa and post some pictures here.

This is a part of me, of my life. Enter if you will, the doors are open, but beware of the traps and labyrinths. Its not a place you should damage, so think good about your actions while in there. Just learn how to search and you may find rare and hidden beauties. It is just up to you to venture into the unknown, but you'll be welcome if you have interest, and only wish well.

PS: It has been a real trouble to put this post up as the power here at home went down TWICE while I was writing, so it turned out very different from what it started at. But at last it is done.

All we need is a little magic.
This world is dull!
It doesn't take me a ten-day trip to realize that. Rather it took the ten-day trip plus a movie to get it in the right words.
Many people would disagree with me saying that the world is not dull. Well the dull I mean is not in the usual sense of dull.
When you travel about three thousand kilometers, where most of the time you are at 110 kilometers per hour, when you've dodged many huge holes and turned in some curves at the limit you begin to ask yourself why would anyone drive a car at approximately 300 kilometers per hour in a tight car doing rather sharp curves?
The answer is the same as to why would anyone do a parachute jump from a 30000 feet airplane.
Adrenaline.
Contrary to most species we humans do not have the constant threat to life, we don't need to hunt, escape a predator or fight amongst ourselves to mate. So one could say we live a very calm life.
Of course I am aware of the dangers of our society, and the very problems of our life stile. But in the end, few are the moments where our blood fills with adrenaline. And that is why we search to challenge ourselves and risk our lives. Because we miss adrenaline.
So not to go too far from topic, this is why I say that this world is dull.
We live our lives without stopping to pay attention to many things that surround us. We grow used to routines, and to conformism.
But it is very easy to get our attention to something near us. All it takes is a bit of magic. A new way to show something that sounds interesting and intriguing. If only we could incite people to enjoy a part of their world that has a lot of magic, but has been forgotten in the daily routine.
There is no need to risk our lives to get adrenaline in the blood, all we need is to realize all the interesting and unknown things that surround us, just waiting for us to explore, and get to know them. All we need in our lives is a little bit of magic.

~ The Adventurer Chronicle 22 ~
"... over the mountain they saw a most terrorizing surprise.
- This is Mithrel? What is going on here?! - asked Selina with a ghostly expression.
- They... they are going... to war!! - stuttered Cid trying to scan how many people were there.
- What?! That can't be, with such an army they can take both of the south kingdoms, then there will be few kingdoms that can stop them.
- Not to mention the mass murder that will take place. - intervened Artanis.
- Thousands will be killed if we don't do so...
- There is about two hundred thousand warriors just in the from preparation, I bet there is much more inside and around. There is nothing we can do.
- There has t...
- There is something wrong here. - said Maelstron.
- What?
- I have no idea, but I feel weird, Cid check the history of the kingdom.
Down the mountain near a forest a bit to the east, stood the great helm of Mithrel Putinis, with its majestic castle. Near the center of the plains was a tall tower surrounded by a fort, probably the shield generator. A bit to side there could be seen a huge rectangular building, the world known Maze Cage of the Stars, a place know the have its own dimension, where great long mazes appeared for no reason, where monsters never seen before roamed freely, where tells the legend there is a treasure of unimaginable power at the end, if there is an end of course. Many played there, but most gave up after finding monsters too strong for them and some died trying to find the fabled prize.
They stood there, lost, with no idea what to do next, their plan could not go forward with this. Some venture to say this was a truly beautiful sight, but most agree it was more scary. Two hundred thousand people working together, preparing, training, building, planing and getting ready for war. An army unusually organized, so many people with weapons, and no ordinary weapons, with vehicles, mounts and many strange machinery and beasts roaming in their plains. If they were as good in a fight as they seem organized they surely would slaughter countless people.
- Come on Cid, before we get spotted here.
- What, oh sure, it says here that this kingdom was always in peace with the other two, their main business was the market and the cage which kept attracting people to the kingdom and lastly the never had a big army, but seemed to have a very successful market creating powerful magical weapons and equipment.
- So there's no reason for them to build a massive army and take down other kingdoms?
- None.
- Wait. - said Artanis - they may just be organizing their defenses against the other.
- No! - said Diterok calmly raising his head and looking seriously int Maelstron's eyes. - I've had a glimpse of a not so distant past... they've been here!
Most of the group seemed a bit confused, or maybe just in doubt, but they stood there in silence. Maelstron and Cid look at each other concern was taking over, this made things worse if their suspicion was right.
- Are you sure of what you saw right? Because you know this means they stop being just a bunch of powerful enemies with some masochistic desire to see the world destroy itself, and now become the same powerful enemies with desires, but now with a massive army almost ready to spread carnage through the world.
- I'm afraid I'm certain, though I have no idea on to what extent they are involved in this, I just said they came here some time ago.
- You mean those guys we fought are behind this army?!
- Now this is promising. We got beaten up when it was just them, but I KNOW you don't expect us to go against and army this big.
- No we won't, we are strong, but no nearly as powerful to take an army. I would say under other circumstances that we could organize our own army, but...
- Since most kingdoms are either ON war, or simply trying to defend their own people, we would have no success in gathering people to fight. It is hopeless.
They all looked concerned to each other, they felt the little hope they had fade. After some time of silence Diterok said:
- We should investigate, know what is going on here, and how did they build such an army in so little time.
- While we are at it, we may find some pretty good equipment for us. - said Maelstron with the usual grin.
- Ok so here..."

~ End of Part 22 ~

The End of The Year
So, I won't have access to a computer during the next few days, so I'll leave my wishes for a good New Year to everyone, may your resolutions become true, mey this new year be a lucky year to everyone who deserves and may this year bring new and exciting things to everyone's lives.
When I get back I'll post something, maybe I'll start the year with an Adveturer's Chronicle, as a promisse to work harder on my book.
Good festivities to you all, see you next year.
                                                                              ~ Maelstron, retired guardian, true friend. ~

Plans & Dreams
As I went on my way home, I wondered about my dreams. Dreams, not those like winning the lottery, learning how to cast magic or meeting the perfect girl, dreams like those you plan to do if the circumstances arise. I have many plans for most circumstances, some are normal, may happen or will happen in time, some are very ambitious, depending mostly on me getting a lot of money.
I guess anyone has their own plans, they work towards them most of their life, hopefully without disturbing the dreams of others. I have began to work on some of them, others I still have not enough maturity or money to begin. But some days I makes me very happy just imagining what would be if I realized my dreams. And for some strange reason I feel like sharing them here.
So to make things simple I won't mention dreams that have to alter reality to work, or simple things as where I would like to work and other things that are too generic. Like most people, there are the basic things you normally want, like having a family and stuff, but as many people are told, there is one thing every man should do in life, write a book. (the original sentence is, "there are three things every man should do in life, write a book, plant a tree and have a child"). I have no special interest in the two last, but I would be sad to leave this world without finishing my book. Many of you reading this have read some parts from it, as did some other people, I've finished the first chapter, I only have to put it in a digital format and pass it around to see what some friends have to say.
On dreams a little more difficult, I would like to create a successful RPG system. I have little hopes of it becoming a world know success, but if I get to publish it I would be happy enough. I am working on this dream, I have most of it defined, I just lack creativity to fill long lists of things needed to give players a choice.
But two dreams haunt me, as I would love to do them, but I can only accomplish them with a quantity of money far from normal. One is simple, to build a replica of an Opera House, shown in the game Final Fantasy VI. I don't know why, I simply want to build it, maybe because to me it is simply beautiful, but this king of construction would take probably millions. The other is to create a system, with a database, where people could play RPG in the same world, playing with official game master and keeping a track of every player and their location, so it would be possible to create events, quests and many other things so people could be a part of a ever changing world. Well my description probably confused every one, but it is simple to say that I would like to be able to play RPG, like the classic paper & sheet RPG, but online, like on a chat, but with many features to help.
These two dreams I have been carrying for some time, and I have no idea if I will be able to achieve them one day, but I surely will work for it. They are far fetched, I know, but many dreams are, and these are mine. Strangely I have no dream of getting rich, building a great family, finding the nirvana, traveling around the world or anything more common. Just these dreams, that are not for me, just for my personal achievement and for others to enjoy.
Guess I have much work to do still right?!
I'll update here if I have any good progress ^^.
Until then, merry Christmas to everyone.

Exhaustion
This end of semester has been quite demanding. Lots of work to do, things to study and things to get. The thing is, I haven't been able to really rest in a while, not even after my vacation started. I have been trying to see some people, go out with friends, invite people to do stuff and when I get some free time, play some games. With all that I haven't been able to take this semester's load of my back.
Not only time seems scarce but for some unfortunate turn of events in my college I'm still getting work to do, as the group project had a horrible turnout. With this I'm still a bit stressed with college. Not only that but I still haven't sorted out people related stuff. It took out some of the energy finding most people around me very inconsiderate, taking out other people's flaws on me, being offensive against me when my intentions are the best, people lacking touch or the ability to be caring and to be nice every now and then. So many consequences. I still dwell in conflict between regret, and the lonely relief.
Maybe a great frustration of mine is that for about a year, I have been waiting to get my hands on the Nintendo Wii. I've read many articles, I've followed the development of the console and its features, I've seen many videos, I defended it, I hoped it would be a success and it even launched the same day as my birthday. But for some sort of irony, it was such a success that it was sold out before I could try to buy one. Its ironic how from all people I know, I was probably the most eager to play it, and will end up being one of the last to do so. I suppose there is some fairness there somewhere, but I don't want to search for it. I'll have to wait until next year to get my long waited video game. I hoped I would have some game to play until then, but even though I got my friend his long waited game, and got a game borrowed from another friend, I either lack the console or a game to play. There goes my sanity.
There will be so much to do this vacation. I have two trips to plan, which I'll be doing with the assistance of only one person. I have work to do, my graduation project to begin and a semi personal project to do. All this in the few weeks I'll get. All this planning and trying to adapt everything to other people's schedule and very little help, hearing lots of complaints and with no time to rest.
On the bright side, one old friend has shown me that given time to her, she would be there with me, enjoying a good afternoon in the pool, hearing me troubles, giving support and sharing lives. I missed that. I have another friend whose simple touch and kiss if filled with most pure friendship. Have I grown so used to not having any care and sweetness in my life? My dead side would expect to be invited by the people I like to do things with them, for them to share things they know are important to me and even take me into consideration before doing something. But I think I proved to myself this semester that I gain more fighting alone, that few people, if no one, care about me and that if I don't keep going after my friends they, as sure as hell, won't move a muscle to come after me. I wish every day that I am wrong. I wish every day that someone will prove me wrong. I wish every day that I wasn't able to foresee the repercussions.
Well as for now, I am distracting myself with some sword play, some old games, a swimming pool, reading and blogging. Soon it will be Christmas which means I'll be in the kitchen cooking for Christmas dinner on the 23rd and 24th. Maybe then I can get some rest.

Sanity
I miss my old friendships,
I miss having someone to talk to,
I miss having hope,
I miss that thrill of a new game,
I miss dreaming that someone will someday surprise me with a nice day,
I miss sleeping without waking up every hour.
I can't take this anymore, I am completely tired, exhausted. All the troubles I have been through, and every discussion with others, all the stress studying, and no fun for me, no reward in the end, only pain and stress. And all that I have waited for is no happening. It will be a much more boring vacation than I expected.
It seems as people work against me. Everything I plan, want to do or invite anyone to join me, is a failure. People ignore, plan things over to do what they want, or simply don't show up. I wonder what has happened in my life to be in this point.
The only things that work in my life are when I try to do something for others, to make others happy. Yes I easy can get things from around the world if it means giving a nice present to someone. But every action to get something I want badly fail miserably.
As my hope and sanity crumbles with exhaustion, I believe once again that I was born to make other people happy, and that I was cursed never to be truly happy.
Sorry, I can't take any more problems.
Sorry, it's just the end of a bad day, maybe I'll be better tomorrow.

A Symbol
Humans have a tendency to try to see more meaning to things than they sometimes have. Of course, up to some point I can't escape from that. Many things represent more than the object itself, be it a country flag, a very old painting, a perfume or even a present.
People usually have a lot of objects, but do they know why they have that object? You see, most things anyone possess have a purpose, and usually they are useful. These take cellphones, computers, books or anything one may do something with. You may gain these things as presents, or buy them as the most common option. But these objects mean nothing more than they are. Well of course you can have something for so long that you grow fond of it, and then it may become a symbol to you, like that mug that symbolizes the chocolate milk you drink every morning, or the headphones you put on every time you want to take your mind off the world.
Symbols are something important, from the simplest person to the most complex villain. It may be a symbol of faith like a cross, a symbol of peace like a feather, a symbol of love like a medallion, a symbol of pain like an old girlfriends perfume and any type of symbol for any feeling there exists.
Now, symbols don't just appear from nowhere, objects become symbols the moment it gets tied to a feeling. Some symbols grow feelings over time, but most frequently objects become symbol when they are bought or given as a present. You see, you get that lovely crystal statue from someone you love, it becomes a symbol, it reminds you of that special someone even being completely useless. This goes on even when you buy things, like that ring you bought because it made you remember someone important.
As you enter a place you can see many symbols, most may be just decoration, but a symbol nonetheless. But you may come to see this in time, very few people have a "negative" symbol in their possession. This is because humans hate pain and every memory attached to it, and get rid of anything that reminds them of a bad experience. You had an awful experience when you broke up after years of relationship, if the experience was really bad, most people throw away anything from that relationship, of course to some people don't throw away somethings for monetary reasons. But some people will keep these symbols as a reminder of a lesson, or respect, or even someone they had dear once. Even if it makes them cry when they look at it, it is a memory and to some people that may be an important memory.
But something puzzles me. What happens when you face an item that you have no idea what it is doing there? I mean, you have this object, it has no use, I mean besides paper weight, and for some reason you can't recall from the day you acquired it, you have no feeling attached to it. So basically you have an object that you can't use and that it is JUST an object, not memory on it, no symbolic existence. What do you do? It feels weird to see this, you fiddle with the object hoping to jaunt a memory, maybe a reason, maybe a purpose. But your heart refuses to give it a meaning, and your mind seems unwillingly to share a memory of it. You know deep inside of you, you want to make it a symbol, but finding no reason you can't.
I have held many symbols, most of them were personal to me, many and probably most I bought. Some I held for ages until I found someone to give it to, some I gave away for my own safe, some I sadly lost and some face every day and every minute with me. Symbols are things that can give you support, may have words of wisdom for troubled times, or may give you the energy and inspiration you need to go on. I believe each person has its own symbol, and treasure them, sometimes with life. Things need not to be useful to be important, they just have to mean something.
This is why I find it strange to see a meaningless object, with no purpose in existence. Maybe it is just waiting for the right moment.
Take care of your symbols, they may mean more to you than you realize, and may mean something to other people.