There is nothing we can do. Now move out of the line.

That is how my trip to Disney started.
I got up at 4 am, after a 2 hour night sleep. But I was not really tired, I was too anxious about travelling.
I got to the airport around 5:30 am, and went on my way to the chekin for Virgin Australia. When I got there there was a very big line, and no one to provide instructions. After a few minutes lost understanding the deal about the form for leaving the country I got back to stay in line. There were only three attendants trying to get through all the passengers that were trying to check in.
A little over an hour I stood in line, behind a mom alone with a little girl and a baby boy, she was trying to see if there was a special line for her so that she didn't have to wait all that time while handling two energetic children. But no one was there to help her, the only attendant that appeared talked to her briefly and vanished for half an hour. Only when she got near the end of the line they opened a easy path for her to cut ahead of the few people in front of her. A few more minutes it was my turn to checkin.
Now, mind you, I never had any problems during checkin. It was always a simple process of asking the questions I had and handing the documents they asked me. So I was very surprised when after most things were given and all the questions were answered the man taking care of my checkin frowned and said that he had to check something up.
After a couple of minutes looking in the system he told me as bluntly as emotionless that I required a transit visa for Australia to board the plane, so he couldn't process my boarding pass, and this was around 1 hour before my flight. As my brain tryied to wave off all the implications of what he said, in favor of forming questions on what I could do he simply stared at me, barely blinking. After I asked what I could he said that I needed to get the visa, but since mine was a Brazilian passport I need a stamp from the embassy, as opposed to the eletronic visa that other countries' passport requires and can be obtained on the fly, but since it was a saturday I would need to wait for monday to go to the embassy. Then he handed my documents back and stood back as if waiting for me to leave the line.
I tried asking what else could be done, if he could check with immigration on australia to see if there was an alternative, but only said he could provide me a phone and I could try calling them on my own but it would have no effect. After a few minutes of me looking desperately looking for solutions, a supervisor showed up. Hoping that she would have the authority to provide a viable solution I tried explaining my situation again. She looked over the monitor that the attendant had open, and turned to me and said: "Yes, there is nothing that we can do, now please move out of the line" and she called for the next customer to take my place.
After being removed from the line I went to the Flight Center facility in the airport to try and sort out the mess that I was in and was never even warned by the person that booked my flight. There I had to wait an hour to be heard, as since my flight was leaving in an hour there was nothing that could be done fast enough to allow me to be on my flight, so I was not urgent. Understandable, but when you have an hour to wait around and think about the shitty situation you are in, the depression thends to sink in.
When the only lady working there got a moment to help me she looked over my situation and told me I'd have to wait until the manager of the store where I bought my ticket got there, and I could either go back to the city, or try working it out from there, but I'd have to wait around 2 more hours. And so I did.
I talked with him over the phone, trying to figure out a way to get me to USA without going through Australia. A lot of hours lost in this process and a lot of money spent that I didn't have, I got a ticket for 10 pm that same day. With an 8 hour connection wait in LA.
So after 40 hours inside airports and airplanes, with barely no sleep, I was very happy to arrive in Orlando.
But as the curse goes, my problems were not over.
My bag got checked by the TSA, and without having a TSA approved lock (I did not know those existed), my lock was broken into, and with a polite message the costs of it were NOT responsibility of the TSA. So -1 lock.
I got a glass shard inside my finger almost as soon as I got to the hotel.
My glasses broke on the second day there.
I had to deal with lots of issues money wise, not only my own, but also the others.
Stresses with people.
Parks closing early with nearly no warning.
Rides that I wanted to go on closed, or me arriving only after they closed.
My umbrella, that my father gave me, was lost.
The ticked that I requested an extra bag for on the way back AND payed for, did no go through, so I had to save some money to checkin a second bag. And a LOT more money to pay for the excess weight, despite the two combined being under the combined limit.
So of course my flight back had to have some issues. My first flight got delayed for one hour before departing due to paperwork. And I had to endure a Brazilian lady next to me complaining the whole trip. And and extra 30 minutes after we landed just waiting for a gate to open so we could taxi into it. But that is not bad... noooo. I can wait no problem, but my flight can't, so all these delays resulted in a missed connection and after long trips around terminals I got my flight booked for the following night, and since Delta was responsible for the delays, they gave me a cupon for a stay in a hotel, and after a lot of begging some meal vouchers because I didn't have enough money to eat.
And after all that, and of course the extra waiting I finally got back. I day latter than expected, so with lesse time to rest or organize my home or get food, but no other big issues, apart from a blown fuse in the transformer I use to charge my DS.

I'm just venting off at this point. It was a horrible experience. And despite the serious lessons learned, what I will take with is, NEVER TRAVEL WITH VIRGIN AUSTRALIA. And until I find enough reasons, I will avoid Australia as well, because been treated differently because of my country of origin, not my current country of residence, having to go through a different process than other that takes nearly a month to complete, and cost who knows how much, just to spend 2 hours waiting for a connecting flight is a fucking stupid jerkish move, and fuck anyone who does that. (Not that Brazilians don't deserve that sort of treatment, we do deserve all the flak, but I reserve my self the right to hate anyone who engages in this generalized sort of discrimination)

Never missed my routine this much.
But I still have to fix a lot of things that got messed up in my life, so no rest for the wicked.

Frozen

People get so caught up in things.
This world, these differences, are just to much pressure on our own human nature.
After all the conflicts, all the wrong doings of the past, and no lesson learned.
We still find ourselves drowning in hatred.
We know how fast things have been changing. Trends, technologies, markets all change in a matter of years, maybe months, weeks or even days.
We are mostly a grand nation, united in all that the globalized cultures of the world can offer. Yet, we have our borders, our societies, our laws, to remind ourselves that we are not part of something bigger, that we have to share and live with different but similar people.
All this creates a great void in where we can't live in our own "society", but we don't want to interact with people in our community. We are forced into conflict with other people's opinions when in the end, it does no matter.
This leads to hate.
The internet leads to hate.
We are thought to fight for our opinions, and when we bump into a dissenting opinion on the internet, we "have" to fight.
I know the whole discourse about the anonymity. The internet's "greatest" flaw. But in the end, all that does is give voice to those who did not have before.
It is easy for people living in the internet to not even care or know about conflicts in the real world and vice versa. And in the end, everything is shifting and changing because of both of these behaviours.
It's become far too easy to criticize.
It is a profession at this point. And at least it provides a service for people around the world. But criticism may lead to a blurred line on values. What happens when you see something again for the 10th time when you're a critic. You write it off as bad, not innovative, old, repetitive. No matter how good it is. That is when it turns to anger again. A fight between the dissenting opinions. A fight that does not see the big picture.
In the gaming world we are so eager to see the next big flashy thing, and some people will think it is great, and some people will think it is just the same with little new. And as usual, both of them are right and wrong.
And thrown to the side, dismissed as unimportant, as not true to the values, we see those old lumbering titans, doing what they have been doing for so long. Longer than most people care to remember, so long and so different from the changing sands of the ever fast present.
But there is a reason why they are still there.
It not simply because they do what do better than anyone else. It is not because they are trying to satisfy their need for money.
They are there, because even if we don't know it, we (as a species) NEED them.
We need those titans because no one else will do the dirty job that helps calm hatred and instill hope.
Take a glimpse at "Rise of the Guardians" if you want to understand the need for hope.
In this world filled with hatred, we need, or inner child begs, these things.
Not matter how evil and greedy those corporations may seem, the provide something far beyond their products.
Coca-Cola is older than anyone alive, and despite it's consumer oriented business on selling products, it does so by spreading a little bit of joy and wonder. They spread the message to live and enjoy. Check any commercial. The message is clear, it is not about self empowering, it is about enjoying live.
Nintendo has taken all the criticism for what it has done in that last few years, from betrayal, to abandon, old feelings were hurt. Now, it is hard to come a flagship launch that is not labeled as more of the same. Yet, in a market where almost every product seems money oriented, it is hard to find something, that has a positive message to it, something that carries hope, like nintendo's main titles. It is not simply to save the damsel, it is the illusion that when the "world" is in danger, someone will rise. There will always be hope for heroes. That is the good behind it, the one we are missing.
At lastly, the best and most guaranteed source of hope and good messages. Disney/Pixar. All of the animation studios put out so many great titles, they are all making this world a little better each year, but I want to focus on the old titan. Disney is very old. It was a pioneer, it was a creating, the catalyst. All to tell a message. Disney has been there for a long time and they still put out movies every year build up around the same base premises. There never was a horror story, or a movie in service of action, it is always been about the same thing. Love. While I've heard a lot of discussions about gender stereotypes set by disney, it is not the point. How you view or perceive correct behaviour and societal norms, is up to each individual. In the end, each story, independent of your view, is a reminder that there is love to be found in the world. No matter how bleak your life may seem, and let's face it, most people haven't been cursed by witches, so you're bettor off right from the start. It shows us that there is always going to be trouble in life, but if you do your best, good things will come of it. And sure, life is not as simple as that, but if no one teaches us that we need to do our best, be ourselves, and not do anything evil, then how can we have any hope?
Frozen is a great movie, it is true to what Disney does best. And it is what this world needs a lot more of. A lesson that you should love more, and suppress your hate and not do harmful things for your own benefit.

No matter how many problems people may have with these titans, they are still giving hope to people. A lot more than those people wasting their times criticizing them on the internet. Next time you think about complaining about something, try to use your time to make something positive instead. Don't waste your time on hate. Life your own life to it's fullest and remember that you don't need to waste your time on people that don't agree with your, the world is large and there will always be people to share things with.

There is love to be found everywhere. On any person. We need it more than we realize. And I look forward to see what great drops of hope these great companies create every year.

Consequences
I guess there are many ways to see consequences.
I woke up thinking about the simples things I did or said, and what consequences did it have, if they even HAD consequences.
Consequence is often defined around a simple paradigm: Everything that follows an action, is a consequence. Often an action is a consequence of an action, this is the more known as: to every action there is a reaction of equal and opposite intensity - which in itself is only a slight simplification of one of Newton's laws of motion.
But this definition is not so helpful, as it is meant to apply to two bodies applying force.
As I said, there isn't always a reaction, I guess most of the time the reaction is nearly imperceptible. The action isn't in itself a physical manifestation of force and motion. When you look at something you perceive, and this is an action, and what you fell - as a reaction - is the consequence of perceiving.
But what happens when we keep tracking the same line until it vanishes any analytical perception?
Take this example first: You go see a movie by yourself, and the experience is undisturbed, and you watch a very fun movie. Simple, you see something, that something makes you have fun. But that is only as far as action-reaction goes, everything else, is consequence, and consequence takes you far, very far. After the movie, you are happier, so you are more inclined to enjoy life, to stay up latter, to accept invitations that could otherwise seem uninteresting. More directly you call your friends, and recommend the movie, some may have seen it, triggering a long conversation that eventually derails from the movie topic into something else, possibly resulting in plans for a get together.
I've said before, you are where you are, because you chose to be. In the end, it is true, but I say this now only to make it clear, that the consequences of your actions far back, still linger on today, resulting in the place you are.
But consequence has some subtle differences in itself.
I'll use some terms here, as I see fit, and don't know if there is some formal proposition around this.
Let us start with the Logical Consequence. Logic is that in which reason uses to predict what will result. If I let go of the apple in my hand, logic stands that is will fall. A Logical Consequence, is one that can be measured and predicted in some way, like the falling of the apple, or the glass breaking as a stone passes through it. It is interesting to note, that most LCs are physical, but not always what you expect. If you threw the stone at a reinforced window, it might not break, I may seem illogical to you, but there is a reason for the outcome. It's of much debate whether a mental reaction would be logical. If you tell a joke, it would be logical for people to laugh, but not to cry, and yet outcomes do vary, so it seems rather pointless to try and apply reason where a person is involved.
Temporal Consequences are something along the lingering effects of an action. When the apple falls, it JUST falls, but there is some temporal effect resulting from this change in space, maybe some animal that might not have reached it before can eat it now. Maybe the apple landed on a ground mine and changed the landscape around it nearly permanently. This is perhaps the most important type of consequence you need to perceive. Because long term effects may branch out more, and therefore determine how much that action affects you. For example, you are in the middle of the traffic when a car cuts in front you from one of the streets that end up where you are, you would most likely feel angry, upset, or whatever, BUT the car turns into the next street and leaves the whole traffic system you are in. Apart from a mild chain reaction of slow downs, the car is not in the system, in your way, so there was no consequence to his action in the long term (at least to you), so you shouldn't be upset. This is important, many actions you take, many things you see, end at that point, or soon after, and don't really change your life. BUT this is where it gets tricky.
The Personal Consequence. Each person, reacts and feels differently depending on the situation. Take the car example, had some one been sleeping in the back seat and woke up after the other car had left, they wouldn't have felt anything. This extends anywhere, and this is mainly why we suffer so much. A more personal example, I for one hate horror movies, yet, I went with the family and girlfriend to see one. By the end of the movie, I felt bad, but other probably liked it, and felt it was an interesting film, to me it fell into the category of things that shall never be mentioned again, EVER. My reaction is completely personal, and the film has definitely NO connection to reality or my life, it's just a fictional film. It was my own mind that created a consequence, out of whatever excuse it wanted to use, to the film. My reaction is (probably) not logical, and neither a response to something in anyway permanent in my life, but it has consequences nonetheless.
This is why we should be wary of what actions to take, and how to respond to the universe.
Ignoring the car the got in front of you may lead to less stress and a better life, ignoring the horrible movie experience might allow me to see incredible films that I might have missed as consequence.
When you take an action, if at all possible, evaluate the weight of the long term consequences and avoid those actions that harm others.

Astral Hell
This term, I don't know if exists in english, refers to the period preceding one's birthday. Usually the 30 days before.
It is regarded as a bad period, where things tend to wrong, bad luck strikes all the time, and people just stay in a bad mood.
I know some people who believe in this. I myself have suffered from this bad period, but I see it a little differently.
While I did think that worse things happened around this time of year, as well as bad things happened more frequently, it was the part of me that had to question my worth, my meaning in this life that got me depressed every time.
The reasoning behind this was questioning why people were nicer to me this time of year, and only at this time of year. Could be just in my mind. It is after all a human made excuse to have a specific time to give the ones you hold dear a token of appreciation. It's just the time of year elected to do it, so it's embedded in our culture. That doesn't mean they care less the rest of the year. Or maybe it does.
My deepest wish, for the past birthdays, was that my friends would show me that they cared about me the whole year. No presents, no demands. Just "I like you", "You are important", "I miss you" and (more importantly) "I'd like to do something with you, let's go out" on random days through the year.
This has been my drama for, let's say, 15 years. I HATE THIS TIME OF THE YEAR.
I hate thinking that people are being nice out of a social obligation.
I hate to think that my friends don't know me enough to buy me an adequate present. But hey, most people can't do this effectively. And even if they could, I'm complicated. I have most things I want, if I want it and don't have it, is either because it's too expensive for me (and therefore something one wouldn't ask of a friend) or it is inaccessible to me (due to my country and laws and such). I'd much rather have the gift being a "favor" in making the thing I want accessible to me, and I'd be glad to pay for it. (Just like I did with a friend last year, who got her sister to bring me a game which I wanted so much, but couldn't import at a feasible price).
It was never about getting a physical object, it was about having a friend show you that they'd do something to make you happy. To be honest, I still wish it very simply: that my friends would simply play with me, give me some priority in life.
But I digress =P
And for the FIRST time in 15 years, ohhh it's been a long time, I'm happy (around my birthday).
This last few weeks have been the best in ages. So great that I feel I could win the lottery any moment. Or that the only way it could get better is if I did win the lottery.
Job offers, Diablo 3 beta key, fun games, fun times. Oh, and a girlfriend. Who until further notice I will hold responsible for my smiles.
You see, Astral Hell is about the time in which you question the values of your life. In which you gaze upon the reflection of yourself in the people around you. And the most common time to do this, is around your birthday when people are paying attention to you.
But whether you feel happy or sad, depends only on whether you care about what you see or not.
All the troubles I had a month a got, relationship issues, feeling insignificant to life, games that won't work for no reason. They don't matter anymore.
I have someone that makes me feel silly happy. Whose smile makes me feel happy. Whose kiss just can't be put in words.
Oh heavenly kiss.
I wish people will understand one day how I work regarding presents, how all I need to be happy is my friends by my side (wanting to be by my side)
But for now, I don't care, I just want to see her smile.
Thank you, for giving me this gift. For my 113th birthday.

Prepared
Oh how it hurts.
No matter how prepared you are.
You've heard it a thousand times.
You imagined how it would play out.
But you can't tell yourself how much it will hurt.
There will never be enough preparation.
I miss you.
I miss even the most stupid things, like the path to you.

Oh how cruel is life.
But there ain't no rest for the wicked.

Language, Culture and Disappointment
You know, I've always had mixed feeling about preserving culture.
Like, I'd like the world to speak only one language, to be easier to communicate around the world, but at the same time I think each country should have it's unique style.
In France there's been some controversy with the ban on Islamic Veils. For one I think it's one of the stupidest thing humans can do, banning choices of clothes. But I can respect the idea of keeping the population from adopting a norm that I naturally find stupid. I think if you go to another country to live there, the least you could do is to adapt to their culture. Which is my next point.
I've been to Miami and Orlando last week. The differences are incredible. Miami has been taken by latin people. 90% of the people I met spoke horrible english and were more fluent in spanish. While I have nothing against they migrating there, I think it's a disrespect that they don't even try to learn the language of the country they live in. I entered a KFC and everyone was speaking spanish, even the cashier spoke in spanish.
Orlando on the other hand, while being packed with tourists visiting Disney as I was, almost everyone spoke perfect english. I saw far less brazillians in there then in Miami, considering how the city is build around tourists, the proportion of foreigners to americans was impressively low.

It's weird how these things are... each country has an impressive and different culture, and I think everyone should be able to experience any culture they want. But living in a country should mean respecting their culture. And culture should never get in the way of communication, understandings and a more connected and evolved world.

Facing the Truth
6 years ago my life changed... drastically.
We look at our past, and remember events.
Since that day, so many things happened.
I've seen deep fears come true. I've seen the selfish side of humans.
I've seen how helpless I was, and in the process, how self absorbed I acted.
I know, when people are plunged into their worst nightmares, there's little they can do to act civil, and I see how poorly, despite my age, I reacted.
My actions had their ramifications, and consequences. I've lost important friends. I saw how fragile the bonds around me really were.
I learned how to turn despair into resolution, and took arms to fight for my own freedom. But I fought the wrong battle, I fought to free myself from the shackles of responsibility, instead, I should have fought for myself, for my humanity, for being a better person.
I've paid the price. With the road I choose, the power I used, there was a cost. As I knew, it was steep, but blinded I saw no other way.
I traveled. Far, close... to many places. I've seen beauties in my country that make me proud and humble to live in this planet. I've gone abroad, with friends, and for a slight moment, on my own.
I traveled with friends. And with family too. I've seen that different places, are not so different.
Neither are people.
I've had lots of fun. I had friends to keep my mind busy most of the time. I created stories, games, songs, adventures.
I've changed jobs a few times.
I moved to a new city. And met new and incredible people.
I was robbed... twice. But, despite the frustration and injustice. It is as insignificant as a grain of sand in the beach.
Countless movies.
I've got engaged in worlds that now I hold so dearly with me.
I've bought two videos game consoles.
I got to know a face of beauty and kindness. And even though, we are apart, she gave me a lot, and I am thankful and wish everyday for her happiness.
I've got to live some adventures.
Being at a distant view, I saw the changes in bonds around me. Bonds filling with tears. I saw unexpected bonds blooming incredibly.
I heard people telling to wait.
I heard people telling me to take action.
I learned that it's not about either one. MY life, is about reacting, doing the things needed when they are needed, and waiting when it's right.
I miss the life I had.
I miss what I was.
But it's not about what could have been, or what I should have done. It's about making my life the best it will allow me to achieve.
I won't forget that day. I think I can't. I'll take it with me to my grave, or to the crematory if anyone pays attention to my desires.
But six years latter, I realized something I've known for some time.
That day, that day of the year, contrary to the first few years, is no longer a part of my life.
Despite it being a reminder that I now don't even pay attention to, I does not affect me.
My life now is fully independent from that event.
Despite what I do feel now, despite the price I paid or the memories that will serve as lesson, I don't care about that particular event anymore.
My life has found a path with no intersections with that event.
Not that I'm celebrating of complaining.
It's about accepting.
It's about me fully understanding that my life has moved on. Full of troubles and sorrows. But glowing with friends and fun. Still with a lot of opportunities. I don't need to look to the doors that were closed, or the doors that opened. I just live in a knew situation, and I'm focused in dealing with it, and not the past that led me there.
We can't fight things stronger than us. But it is still our own story, and we can answer to the call of the wind, take the stage without questioning, and act the lead role of our lives.

The Consuming Power
For a while now I've been wanting to analyze the difference and main aspects of both Rage and Hatred. First we begin by the dictionary definitions.

Rage:
1. a : violent and uncontrolled anger b : a fit of violent wrath c archaic : insanity
Hate:

1 a : intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury.

Even though they seem to refer to almost the same emotion, even by looking at the definition we can see the nature of both is different.

Rage, often associated with fire, is as said, uncontrolled. Rage comes as a severe reaction to an event. Rage usually bypasses all rational judgment, fueling one's desire to action. It makes them act violently, being straightforward and trying to solve the problem instantly. The downside, is that when ignoring all rational thoughts, one is very prone to make some mistake, or take an action they might regret. It can be seen as something that consumes the body, empowering it, while rendering one's mind disabled. It make your body more ready to take action, ignoring fear or personal safety. Any animal trying to protect their young from predators, is showing anger.
Hatred works very differently. Hatred is not something one suddenly feels, it does not lead to immediate action and it does not cloud someone's judgment. Hatred is a byproduct of other emotions, if one can't properly process one's emotions, they might end up turning into hate. Being mistreated, abused or psychologically wounded may lead to hatred. Hatred has a point, it's own agenda, and it leaves one's mind free to calculate, think and plan how to complete this agenda, with least personal damage. Hate does not prepare the body to do anything, it occupies the mind to think, but the mind is left intact, but there is one problem with hate. Hate consumes the soul. It changes people's attitudes, the way they see the world. It kills innocence. It may not lead to action, but those willing to take action, are likely to do something drastic.
None of these are good to feel. While anger may lead to a solution to an immediate problem, it does not last, it leaves no scars, but the occasional regret of some action taken. Hatred on the other hand may seem like a way to end pain and other negative emotions, but is a one way road, it consumes and changes.

Gratitude
Recently, I'm going through some changes in life. Some experiences happened in my life, and with some of them, I've got to realize some of my dreams... those minor ones... those inner desires and curiosities that you want, not the life project ones.
Everyone has dreams like these, and most people accomplish some of those, maybe all. But most of the time, they do so with the "help" or participation of another person.
What I've been wondering is how to properly thank these people for what they've done for you, even if it was mutually beneficial, or wasn't specifically a favor for you. But these people represent an important part of your life, so they deserve both recognition and appreciation. But I don't know how to do it.
Would it suffice to go straight to them and just say it? Would it be embarrassing depending on the dream? Would they be happy with more than just words? It it even necessary?
I feel like going to them and saying it.
But new dreams keep on appearing and being fulfilled, so I want to tell the new people, but somehow I want to tell everyone at the same time.
I could keep a track of it.
I would like to give some gifts... but then they might feel diminished regarding the event.
It's a weird concept. But still...
In the end, for now, the best I can do is this.
To all of you who gave me a dream, something to say that I did before I die, thank you... you made a child smile more ^^

Free Time
I've been thinking. Am I the guy with the most free time in my group of friends?
This description sounds kind of pathetic, like I have nothing to do in my life.
It may be the case. Outside of work, I have very little obligations. There is the occasional movies, weekend gaming and the sports club I go to.
But most of the time, if someone proposes to do something fun, I'll be free, at least free enough to postpone any activities I had planed.
This, of course, does not happen with my friends. Not to the same extension.
So I began to think what is free time? Where does it come from? What causes it?
I came to believe that no one has actually free time. Generalization apart, some people may have obligations that take a lot of time, like 12 to 14 hours a day. Others may have times in their lives that they have no obligations whatsoever. But neither stand sitting on a chair looking at the clock and just plain watching time pass. Which would be the most pure concept of free time.
Instead, what happens is that everyone fills their lives with something that interests them. Even if it is sleep.
So when does free time come into existence? It does not!
There is no free time, free time is a subtle expression of priority.
We all know how I have a strict perception about priorities. How they reflect judgment upon people.
Free time is just a way of saying, "Doing this activity is more worthwhile than that one".
Think about this example. You play poker with friends every tuesday. But your girlfriend that lives in another town, has a week off and comes to visit you on a tuesday. You don't actually have free time, but you'll make time to go out with her. Which is a translation of, "I'd rather go out with my girlfriend that I rarely see, then play poker with the people I play every week.".
It is not a question about right or wrong. The thing is, people don't have free time, they just have things they'd rather do.
Claiming to have free time is just an expression of the amount of time you're willing to give up for an activity with your listener. It is generally the amount of time you have no level of priority assigned, and are therefore free to give any priority, or in the case nothing comes up, assign a default activity with which you fill your spare time.
Anyone has free time. Anyone can make it. People just limit this effort to people that are really important to them.

Dedication

Merriam-Webster: 2: a devoting or setting aside for a particular purpose.

Everything we do, we do with a purpose. Hence, everything requires in some degree dedication.
That is fairly obvious, but it leads to observations rarely conscious.
Dedication goes in many forms, be it the time dedicated to head a story, the money spent on a restaurant with a loved one, effort done to find that special object you've always wanted or even the amount of self inflicted suffering to win the championship. But one thing among all forms of dedication is that it ain't "free". It may not cost you money, but will certainly take something from you. That is why dedication is a luxury commodity, and like all commodities it is worth something.
Now this may as well be the revelation. Dedication has a value, for each person, their efforts, time, money, happiness, etc, has a common value, which explains why we do things one way over the other, it may as well be a numeric decision.
People rarely think about this, but why does one go to eat a piece of meat costing 40 "moneys" instead of one costing 10 "moneys"? I mean, if you ask someone the answer is simple, 'because it's better'. This is simple, and everyone understands, but the actual meaning is more on the lines of 'because the time and money I have to dedicate to this meal is worth a tasty and more satisfactory meal.'
This is simple association between value and dedication. Same logic goes when you ask the same person why don't they eat the 40 "moneys" meat everyday, with the exception of rich people, as people's money goes down, it's value rises which means that dedicating a higher amount of money on the best meat isn't worth the satisfaction.
Following through with the implications. Assuming I can treat everything in terms of dedication (like the value of the money you dedicate to something), I dare to say that the amount of dedication expresses directly the worth of something.
So if you go and pay 1000 "moneys" for a ball of ice cream , or you travel 500 miles to eat at a restaurant, those things are really worthy (this of course assuming you aren't just plain crazy =P).
The problem with this, and the source of this trail of thought, is measuring the worth of a person. I'll avoid talking about myself, and my worth, but as I stood watching my cousin's show, I couldn't help but think on this subject.
It was not her first show, just the first one I saw. I got there early, there was another band playing first, but still most of the people in the bar were either friends of hers or family. As the other show progressed, people kept showing up, more and more friends. Maybe 30 people had gone see her show, and I get why... she was awesome. But I think, they would've gone either way, because she is a great person, and her friends must love her and therefore will always be there to support her.
I've known this for a while, but only now I've realized the correlation between dedication and worth. I've always given it to priority. But one's priorities aren't but a quantification of the value of things, the required dedication.
In the end, the old saying was right, time is money, and to do something, you require time, so dedication requires money, how much "money" are you willing to spend on each thing. This is the decision being made every day, by and for, every human.
So think about this the next time.
What is the message you are sending when you choose to do, or not, something?

Daily Life
Wounded foot.
Bad salary.
No time.
Little motivation.
No company.

This is definitely not worth it.

~ The Adventurer Chronicle 33 ~
"... so now that you are all seated I can tell you more about the secret arts."
Deep in this part of the woods, sun crystals grew, giving a bright light all around them, even if the sun could barely penetrate the thick foliage. Ghola sat near a tree lower than the others, on it's protuberant root escaping the earth. The tree was the only thing between him and the river, which made a nice sound, and reflected the light around, turning every leaf to a different color.
The children sat in different places, mostly near trees in front of him, but some decided that is was a good idea to seat on the branches of the tree, but everyone made sure they could listen to the scholar. There was a tree close to his left, where a particular group of five friends sat on the branches, boys on one, girls on the other, all quietly hearing his tale.
"There are many schools of magic." He paused. "As you all should know by now. Mostly they teach you about the ten most fundamental ones. That is because they are the most common, easy to use, day to day handy spells. I've already told you about the secret school, which has spells so rare and powerful, that only a few people ever master a spell. They are hard to perform and learn, and since their power is immense, few people get to practice them without disrupting lifestyles."
Ghola swept the ground in front of him, making a clear and even surface, where he used his staff to draw some symbols. "Basic magic, we use mana and casting to create a breach between this and the mana plane, in order to create a spell. That is how most schools work at least. This particular school has a peculiar difference. It does not create the magic from the mana plane through the ritual, it instead creates many small holes between the planes from where the mana flows, in chaotic patterns, creating a natural spell."
The kids followed with different levels of attention as he drew on the ground and explained. Some seemed confused, others eager to learn more. Considering this wasn't a class, they were greatly focused.
"You may have heard about it, it is known more popularly as cursing, jinxing and hexing." Most didn't seem to recall anything, only a handful gave a positive response, including one of the girls in the tree next to him. "They are different forms of the same school, they all use the same principle, but each work differently. This is how the school of entropy works. It changes the flow of mana, to affect the flow of events"
"Cursing is one of the most ancient magic arts, with records from before the rebirth, but like the whole school, it fell out of use, since it's power is purely destructive. Curses take long to cast, like a ritual, their effect is quite strong, but they activate on certain conditions, it may take years, centuries, or they may never go active."
"If it's not guaranteed to work, why use this kind of magic?" Asked a boy with blond hair sitting the highest on the ground.
"Well, there are many ways to make it work. Mostly curses serve to keep people from doing things you don't want, and so you warn them before the curse is activated. When a curse is used to harm, instead of prevent, then the caster usually uses the person's habits to trigger an eventual curse, using an event that is bound to happen."
"But of course this is not useful in combat" Ghola continued. "So we have hexes and jinxes. Both are extremely fast cast, low consuming, but also unpredictable. Hexes are mostly effects that leave you vulnerable, but contrary to other schools, they don't have a specific way of happening."
"Wait... what?" Interrupted a confused girl near his right. He took a moment to survey everyone's faces, making sure that they could follow his explanation, after all it was a weird information to give to 7 year old children. Then he began to draw again in the ground, this time using a prestidigitation spell to help the drawings move around as animated stick figures.
"Say your opponent is really fast, so you try to cast a hex to slow him down. With a time spell, some force, generated by the casting will reduce his speed for you, but with the hex something in the environment will do the job. It may be the roots of the bushes that stretch out to bind him, or maybe the ground explodes, sending a thick mud all over him, anything the world can do to make it happen. It would seem mostly like bad luck, and that is the whole principle of Entropy magic. It is not cast, leaves no traces, seems natural."
He dismissed the spell and the stick figures remained silent and static.
"Jinx is the most direct way to enact an Entropy spell. Jinxes, like hexes, make things go wrong for your opponent, but instead of applying vulnerabilities, it has short term effects that disrupt your enemy. Going from indirect damage, to fumbles, misses, slips and anything that might mean trouble to your opponent. Just don't expect anything specific, cause bending entropy to your will is much harder than making something happen, though the better you are, the easier it is to make the simple things go the way you want..."
One of the boys in the tree to his left laughed as bit. "Magic should be something you can rely on, it's a complex art that requires precision and timing, so why would anyone waste so much effort in something they are not sure they can count on?"
Ghola just grinned as he looked forward to the other kids. "No spell is 100% reliable, but Entropy
will try to make the effect happen, doesn't matter how, or why, just the outcome. Like this." He said snapping his fingers.
Both boys heard the distinct sound of wood shattering, they looked at each other, only one of them looked surprised as the branch beneath them broke and fell, taking the child down with it. The other, who until now remained silent, floated where the branch once was, ignoring the funny event and reclining once again against the tree.
..."
~ Taken from the Book of Origins ~
~ End of Part 33 ~

Blind Search
People don't believe me when I say that everyone has stats like any RPG in the world. The only difference is that we have a whole lot more special cases that can be considered that are often ignored.
The game treats two characters with the same strength as being able to life a stone with the same ability, regardless of their personal experience in lifting stones.
RPGs usually have two very confusing skills, that may seem to represent the same thing, but if one pays close attention they actually represent something very real.
Search and Spot, are usually mixed, and people often don't get the difference. Quite frankly I agree they seem to represent the same thing, someone trying to find something, but that is the pure definition of search. On the other hand spot is usually meant to represent people suddenly seeing something, without really searching for it.
These skills are associated with different status, intelligence for search, and wisdom for spot. Despite being another discussion whether we do have status like these ones, I agree with this association. When you are intelligent you use search patters to cover a better area more efficiently, of course, it's hard explain a link between wisdom and spot, but I believe wisdom reflects directly how you perceive the world.
Searching is usually going through a Where is Waldo? book and searching areas, rows, columns or any organized way. Spot is wandering your eyes aimlessly around and suddenly seeing Waldo behind the elephant. People are not aware how their lives are ruled buy skills and status they have and train.
It's very often to see people who have no ability whatsoever to search for things and people. The kind that wastes 5 minutes searching for the notebook that is on their lap, or searching for someone who is 5 meters straight in from of them. But these people when not paying attention they know where things are, it's just the difference between a really bad search skill and a good spot skill.
This is when you want someone to perceive something, you can only ask them if they have a good search. Imagine you want to make a joke, and ask for someone to tell you if they see anything wrong with something the see frequently, something you are sure they'll see the problem. But they try to find something they are not sure what is, and just ruin the whole search.
I've seen this happening many times, people each have different perceptions and not everything applies to everyone. The same goes about every status and skill.
I for one have a high spot, but a low search, not as low as my peers, I still can find a notebook one my lap.

Dearly Beloved
Time passed lazily as the sun began to hide behind the mountains.
People occupied the hills nearby, close to the forest, where the leaves displayed a spectacular variety of colors. They danced with the wind, waving goodbye to everyone who left.
Some leaves fell from time to time, only to be carried away through the hills, deftly dodging the small hands of the kids trying to catch them. Laughter filled the air, filling the silent afternoon, occasionally accompanied by the sounds of the whispering wind and rustling leaves.
Near a tree, on the highest hill around, a couple sat on a green silky sheet, far from other sounds. They were there for hours, they hadn't spoken a single word in three hours. They played with a ball she brought, they gave each other food, observed and touched the foliage and even did some tricks with it... all without a word.
He sat with his back to the sun, contemplating her. Admiring every smile, how her lips stretched to a thin pink symmetric shape. The sun reflected off her eyes, changing them to a lighter color which changed within minutes as the sun got closer to the horizon. He lied on his side, one hand holding his head, and the other caressing her left hand.
She leaned against the tree, and stared downhill towards the forest, uninterested in all human activity far from her, noticing every color of the leaves, the constantly changing color of the sun, and the wind in her hair. The wind played with her hair, parting it sideways around the tree, and it felt good on her skin.
For almost an hour they stayed like this, silent, just relaxing, smiling. He felt a muscle shift quickly in her hand, which brought his focus back to reality, his eyes scanned her face, the smile still there, her eyes still fixed on the horizon, but a single solitary tear escaped her right eye. He calmly set up, took the tear from her cheek with the free hand.
He then sat by her side, supported by the tree, and holding her hand, fingers intertwined. All she did was a soft comfortable blink, kept looking to the end of the valley, and tilted her head to rest upon his shoulder.
They waited like that until night fell, and silent filled the absence of others.

Between clouds and lights.
It had been a while since I took a plane. With this recent trip to Las Vegas I think I had enough plane for some time. But the first time as an adult I had some interesting sights while airborne.
Clouds do form the most interesting shapes, but it's not about the shapes... it's interesting when you wake up, the first part of the morning, and the sun light just brightens all the clouds. You peek outside the window, an endless ocean of puff of clouds each one like the next, all pure white. Some time latter the empty sky gave way to the endless ocean. I've seen many cloud formation very pretty while in the sky. Only when coming back home that the clouds just seemed like a continuous stream of smoke.
Most interesting was to travel by night close to the ground. There are just the mos amazing light formations in the cities.
When you notice that block with lights in patterns it is just amazing. There were blocks close to home that I didn't imagine had lights so symmetrical. Funny to see different cities the way their main lights are distributed. Forms like crosses, squares and arcs were pretty common.
Being someone who deals with computers a lot, I couldn't help noticing that far from above the lights reminded me of mother boards. It was funny to enjoy the lights.
I missed traveling a lot. I think I missed more the change of pace. Seeing another country, living a different life style for a few weeks. I'm glad to be back in many ways. And now I know there are some amazing sights right of the takeoff.

Tending to the neglected.
Well, its not the lack of inspiration, but the lack of time that keeps me from posting here.
I'm keeping here for the important events happening, but eventually, after all this commotion passes, I'll resume my normal life, and eventual posting here.
I honestly would love to be able to make my life out of writing here and my book, but I see no income down that road, so I have a normal job, which I like, but isn't as satisfying as it could be.
In the mean time I'll be taking my vacation now. I'm going to Las Vegas for two weeks with a couple of friends.
I hope my english is up to the challenge.
Maybe I'll put up some pictures here.

See ya on the other side.

Tattoo
Just to update here with something.
I made a tattoo this weekend. And with it I wish to set apart the past from the future, leaving behind many memories and griefs, and renew the hopes of a great future.
All in all, for anyone who cares, it does hurt, what would you expect from being pierced 100 times per second?! But it is not that bad, it takes some self control, and of course good company helps, but when you come to it, it will already be over. And it is really nice to a symbol of your own. If any of you wish to make a tattoo, do it, don't take too long, and most importantly do something that means a lot to you and will forever be a part of you.

Book 2
As the story of book 1 requires lots of attention, but my mind has led me to thinking of the story of the second book. I'm proud to present my site and the publishing of the first page of my new book.
Mission Earth
I'll put a link on the side bar for anyone interested in keeping track of the story through here, though I believe it would be easier to use the RSS in the other site.

Maelstron.

~ The Adventurer Chronicle 32 ~
"He was not shy, nor antisocial, but his nature led him to be one with the most individual attitude.
During recess he usually searched for a spot to be alone, but as kids social nature goes, it didn't take long for someone to find him and they go off do something more fun.
It was a sunny day, perhaps too sunny for him, so this time he went to a place where he could rest in a comforting shadow with a cool breeze.
On top of the main building there is a tree, or at least the leaves growing out of the roof. The huge tree cast a shadow in the morning over the training grounds, and in the afternoon at the play area.
At noon the light got very intense. Both areas got hot.
Too bright he thought. But at least in the shade of the tree, up high over the building there was a fresh wind, and all he had to do was to avoid being seen on the way up there. Very easy for him.
And so he sat on one branch, paying little attention to the kids down there.
Down in the play area kids went on their own business, playing, training, talking. Those were peaceful times, so most gossip went about who had a relationship with whom.
Groups gathered based on interests. Groups size varied on the friendliness of it's members.
One group was considerably larger than the rest, containing about 14 kids, 8 girls and 6 boys. They all chatted and laughed. Their topic was mostly the odd things their teachers did last week to teach them. One boy told the story was about Leinil, the water elemental teacher, who in attempt to teach them how to lower the temperature of the water snuck with the class to the pools, and froze it all over, but the interesting part was that Heralti had been sneaking around in the pools, practicing her invisibility spell, and when she entered she hid underwater invisible, so she was completely frozen by the teacher's spell. Took them about 2 minutes of class before they realized there was someone under there when the spell faded.
A girl, apparently one of the most friendly of the group, was just barely paying attention to the story. She heard every word, and commented when fit, but her gaze floated around the courtyard, she felt something carry her attention away, she scanned everyone, looking for something interesting. They all seemed to be having fun. She wanted to talk to them, but they were not what seemed so interesting.
Near the end of the story she noted a strange figure in the distance, under the shade of a tree. Barely perceptible.
Without saying anything she just got up and left running, crossing through the group. They all stared at her, a confused look in their faces. Boy finished the story despite her absence.
She had to get up there, but she could not be seen. Easier thought than done she thought.
Stealth was not her specialty, but she was fast and light enough to run without drawing too much attention. She sprinted quickly through the school, going up the 4 floors up to the roof. There the door was locked. How did he get past this door she wondered.
She didn't like doing this, but hey, it was fun. She charged up a little electricity in the lock of the door, causing tumblers to bound around until after sometime they fell into place and the lock turned. She got to the other side, not bothering to close the door, and walked calmly up to the boy resting in the tree.
She didn't need to ask, she understood why he was her, the place felt nice, and was really beautiful.
He didn't need to open his eyes, he knew she was there, but he opened his eyes to see who she was. Who was this person interested in coming all the way here, breaking some rules, just to talk to him, he imagined.
The girl was about his height, had a red hair, with black eyes. She had a really captivating smile.
- Nice place you got here. - she said.
He smiled.
- Come, have a seat and relax a bit, you could take a time off all that crowd.
She giggled.
- Nice to meet you, the name is..."
~ End of Part 32 ~