Eu me pergunto se é ruim imaginar aquilo que algo poderia ser.
Por um acaso é errado o pintor olhar pra tela em branco e pensar que poderia ser uma obra de arte?
Por um acaso o arquiteto naum deveria olhar para um espaço em branco e sonhar com a futura casa naquele lugar?
Eu acredito que as grandes coisas da humanidade, coisas essenciais que nem percebemos o quão importantes elas são, vieram das pessoas que imaginaram o melhor possivel.
Eu sei que isso gera uma possível decepção, mas não seria o mais correto arriscar pelos nossos sonhos?
Eu odeio ver potencial jogado fora!
Não sei se tem algum motivo pra isso, que seja destino na concepção de algumas pessoas, mas eu vim a conhecer muitas pessoas que possuem um potencial enorme para crescer na vida. Pessoas que um dia poderiam ser aclamadas como "heróis", pessoas que podem fazer a diferença na vida da maioria das pessoas, pessoas que não percebem que elas podem ser melhores...
claro, sou pego agora dizendo que EU sei qual é o conceito de melhor. Claro talvez isso seja apenas o meu ponto de vista, talvez essas pessoas não queiram ser melhores.
Odeio ver alguém que pode jogar um jogo tão bem parar por besteira.
Odeio que algumas pessoas acreditem serem incapazes de melhorar naquilo.
Pessoas podem até nascer com facilidade, mas isso não impede de alguém se tornar bom em algo diferente daquilo que tem facilidade.
Talvez eu seja o meu próprio exemplo, talvez por isso eu odeie tanto que os outros cometam esse erro.
Eu vi uma semente da mais bela árvore se distorcer em algo bem pior do que podia. E eu não pude fazer nada, ao menos minhas tentativas foram em vão.
Vi uma semente exótica se tornar naquilo que deveria.
Espero que um dia as pessoas tenham da minha amizade a vontade de melhorar, evoluir, e serem seres humanos melhores. Isso valeria grande parte dos meus esforços.
Melhorar, apenas um atalho para fazer aquilo que te faz feliz.
Desnecessário para aqueles que estão mergulhados em felicidade.
Odeio pessoas acomodadas!
Para aqueles que melhoraram das piores situações possíveis, e também das mais confortáveis, desejo pra vocês a felicidade suprema.

Why do I hear these noises, why I don't just ignore them?
I hear these voices, and I want it to stop. Stop the noise.
Noise...hummm
this which is nothing but the truth.
Why do I fear so much the truth?
People, usually my friends, often tell me the truth, most times I know it, but even so it hurts sometimes. I can't explain why, I just know the way some people tend to tell the truth is mostly hurtful.
I exist now only for a job that is no longer required. I am but a memory of what was once great, once needed. My purpose, my life, my fight now ends lost in time, because of lack of objectives, I now just roam...
I roam driven by anger,
My anger filled by my deception,
My deception powered by love,
Love replenished by time.
So in the end, in time being, I will keep on going, walking a road no one uses.
I have no purpose.
I am not of help.
I am a memory.
To be lost in time.
I bid farewell.
I shall leave to a place where time transends space. Where there is a tree so old, that no one remebers before her. So tall that no one could climb to the top. With so many leaves that I would give shadow to a whole town. But most importantly, in a place so quiet that even my thoughts would be silent. So then I can rest, under a Tree, at the top of a Hill, feeling the Wind, and away from life.
~ Maelstron, the Limit Breaker ~

Inspiration has left me, just like everything before.

"Retribution"
I wonder how many people in this world live by the retribution system.
"If someone does you a favor, if possible you should return it."
This system can be extended for every kind of situation.
If someone offer you something, sometime you should offer back.
If someone gave you a lift, you should try to return it someday.
If someone shared a secret, you also should share one.
Even in bad things.
If someone hurt you, you deserve to hurt one back.
But nice people try to avoid using this system for the bad side.
"If someone hurt you, try to forgive, and hope that your kindness is rewarded."
Many people respect that, but most try to take advantage of it.
On the other side there are those who avoid being included in this system. Those who do no like to have a debt of gratitude with others. These people are those who avoid accepting an offer, a favor, help or admitting they could use aid from another.
These people, of great pride, only result to others when they have no other solution or when they feel like they won't need to return the favor.
I may not be impartial this time, but I really feel troubled by people full of pride. I think they are hurting themselves and people who care for them.
But I guess it is better than being a mean, or a vindictive person.
But for all that matters, retribution is one way to help each other.
And good is made by those who help.

I was wondering.
In so many thoughts one was stronger than the others.
I was trying to enjoy being alone, away from people, with no work to do, just me and myself to relax.
But I felt uneasy. I miss having people around me.
In some way, their company is distracting, and even having trouble dealing with them is better because of their company.
It got me thinking if the feeling would be the same for them.
Do they like being alone or with friends?
That lead to the last wonder of my mind...
Am I a better company than nobody?
I would like to know what I should do to be a better company.

"The Summon"
I know I have failed to attend a friend in need.
Though I never failed to come to you.
In my life I wished to be always there when you needed.
I would like you to be there for me.
Be there when I am happy, because you are a part of me.
Be there when I am sad, because I like your company.
Be there when I call, because no one else will be.
Be there now, because you should be in my destiny.
This time I only whisper,
soon I will shout your name.
If you can, come, I promise I´ll try to make you happy.
And if you make me happy again, I will sing melodies of life,
just to make you smile.
And if you sing to me, I will place my eyes on you, to admire your voice.
I miss you by my side.
Life is so dull, you were a star shinning over the dark clouds.
May you light the lives of other people, just remember me once in a while...

"Window"
'In the search for peace, you visit many places, and get to know new people...
Then you come to this quiet place, where you stand looking over the window as outside there is nothing but rain.
But then you see, over the soothing sound of the rain on the ground, you see a pure and brute soul. Like the children that plays in the rain, happy with no reason.
You wonder if what you see is real, why would it be outside in the rain, with its gentle glow, is light triumphs over the dark clouds in the sky.
It was not there a momment ago, or maybe you just didn't pay attention.
You contemplate that image, wondering if the quiet peace would be disturbed by this new force.
Aprozing the window you can see more clearly. The image triggers memories, most of them good, but these memories steal you away from the quiet peace.
As you refocus, you realize that the glow is near your window, staring right into you eyes. As you look in awe at it, you imagine if you should say something, or if it gets what is in your mind. You ask your self how does this soul survive in the world, and how long will it stay like that before it vanishes in the dark.
You want to go out and reach for it, but you know you would cause more pain in doing so, than you would bring happiness.
You draw a spiral in the window with your finger, and from outside your finger is followed by a glowing trace, over your drawing.
The glowing shape burns in your soul as you fade into the dark, to be lost in Oblivion, but know that the spiral in the window will remais there forever as the symbol of the purest soul roaming this world.
And every one that looks into the shape can feel the peace left by her heart, and wonders if it will ever be another spiral.'
~ To you if you were to have this glow, your peace cannot be replaced, and it will be missed... ~

I once swore to fight for justice, friendship and love.
I always thought that I would have the energy to keep on fighting.
Keep on fighting...
No matter what obstacle you overcome, there will always be Still More Fighting.
So renewal of energy is very important.
To lack a source of energy is hard path to follow, but not one you could choose.
So if in need of a source, and your options have ended, you can always look back.
And ask yourself why...
Why an all Nine Hells?
Why did you even start fighting?
And if you remember...
And if you look around you...
Then maybe... just maybe...
You will see, closer than you think, the reasons you once had to fight.
And if your heart was true, and remained uncorrupted.
You will raise again to fight.
So now I would like to renew my old vows.
For those who fight the same fight as me...
For those whose kindness brought happiness to many lives...
For those who suffered in silence for the sake of others...
For those whose will and determination serve as inspirations to others...
For some people to whom I own my life...
For Sakura...
For Rosette..
For Tia...
May you serve as inspiration to me, as I once again raise to fight.
I swear to keep fighting for Friendship, Justice and Love!

Lost...
What is this feeling?
My mind must not be here. I know it because I have no idea of how I feel!
This must be anger. Or deception. Mostly oblivion.
Why do I feel like this?
I am so confused...
I need to rest. I need good companie.
I wish for peace.
I just can hope that the sound of the rain outside the house, brings me a good night rest, and calms my spirit.

Déja Vu
This expression that describes something so strange and yet there is no better way to describe it.
As I came to the highest point of the cliff, I find myself with this strange sensation. Like I have been here before.
This wind that calls me. This call I hear, is also one I fear, and hope to be the last, as I´ve heard it in the past.
This is like the same wind that blew through me so many years ago. Even if the place is different, and the reazon it calls is another, the melody in the wind is the same.
The wind brings to my memory the hopes I once had, reminds me of the important things. Why I fight.....
this fragments of my memory makes me want to rise in flames and fight like my love depended on it, fight with life and death by my side.
Fragments of soul, they carry an enormous power to restore will. But as fragments they are not complete, they lack one thing. This thing that I had with me the last time... this did not come back with the wind.
This, and only this... the difference between the past and the present, is somehow the most important thing. I miss it dearly, and hope every day that I will regain this thing.
Life is fight... but every fight has to have a purpose.

~ The Adventurer Chronicle 16 ~
"...so my master started to explain about the way´s to evolve. He said that most people only evolve when needed, but they did evolve quite fast, of course on the downside they didn't always evolve enough to overcome their challenge. Some people search for challenges to overcome and become stronger little by little. There is a really good point of this way of evolving, because the challenge is only momentary, which means that when you overcome it you will be stronger and with no challenge. That is why there are many people who constantly train in this world. There is one way similar to that but with a very big downside, that is when you have a constant problem which you can't overcome, you can only survive it's tests. That way, if you survive, you get stronger each time you pass another test, and evolve actually fast, but there is one problem with that one, as because you are constantly under a challenge, most of your energy is focused into it, leaving little energy for the rest of your life. If you do not overcome sometime your challenge you are never going to be stronger, at least not relatively. So the option..."
~ End of Part 16 ~

I came to a point in my life.
Here where I stand now makes me see so many things.
I see names, I see messages, I see probabilities, but I miss seeing possibilities.
I fear for my friendships...
I am confused, I do not know what to do, who to talk, what battles to fight.
I want to tell some people that they are hurting me.
I want to ask them to be my friends and try to help me.
But the more I see the things surrounding me, the more I fear to make a move.
I just want to leave this message to say that I love my friends, and I hope not to see any of them fade away in my life with no reason...
I hope we can leave in peace.
Until Time gives me time.

It is impressive how even little things, if in great numbers, can afect you as much as the Big Bad Thing.
I came to an dead end once again. I lost all my power and can no longer take it. Being with them has become too much exausting.
So I didn´t go today to college in order to rest my soul. Even if being alone won´t help, it still beats having to see them glued to each other every second.
Please, if any Guardian is hearing me, please give me power, give me peace, at least give me something so I can have a normal life.........

I feel so alone...
Searching through the dark I find my close friends not close enough or just not helpful. I am sorry if I fail with my obligations as a friend.
If I had any Strength left I would help every one.
But I loosing a friend and seeing my life colapse around me is taking a toll much greater then expected.
I miss doing fun stuff with you. I miss going to the movies with you. I miss playing games with you.
I just hope to have a chance to be a part of your life again.
I will try to find strength in my friends, in my studies. But you could help so much and you have no idea...

~ The Adventurer Chronicle 15 ~
"...she looked into my eyes and asked:
- Why are you here?
- I came here because I want you by my side.
after a gentle smile she spoke again.
- You look troubled, is there something wrong?
- As you must know by now, the world is in grave danger.
- Yes I know...
- So I set out on a journey to save the world. But after all I have seen, after the enemys I´ve faced, I now find this task impossible for me to do.
- Then why are you here, I is not like I can save the world in you place.
- I came here because I feel in the middle of a storm, and I need somewhere I can rest and calm myself. I need to recover my faith in me, in the world. So I came here to be by your side, to see your smile. You can´t imagine how good it feels to stand by your side and feel this peace. And last I came here to se if you would like to go with me to save the world, so that I will have peace wherever I go.
her eyes were shinning as if she had tears in her eyes. Then she came near to me placed her arms around my body and held me strong near to her in the warmest hug she had ever given me. The relief that came over me almost put my soul to sleep as if she was in so much peace she could finally rest. After some time like this she start to whisper into my ears..."
~ End of Part 15 ~

Ok... vou apenas justificar por que eu não tenho postado aqui mais...
Eu não ando bem. Não aguento mais a dor. Tanta coisa acumulada...
Se eu encontrar um momento de paz, um esboço de carinho ou um toque de amor eu volto a postar aqui...
até a próxima.
Thomas

~ The Adventurer Chronicle 14 ~
"...after some time I began to wonder if there was a point to persue a goal you can't reach.
I asked myself if I should keep fighting even knowing that there was no way I could win, or better, I would need a real miracle to win. There was nothing I could do to make a difference, so why should I keep killing my soul in vain. I wandered for days without aim, just going where the wind blew me. Until I ended up discovering that the real purpose of this fight was not for me to win, it was just to make the world different, so that someone who can win would actually step up for the fight. So I kept fighting until now, only hoping that I could change the outcome of the war even if I do not win.
I never cared much about getting myself killed. But now I just fear that I could die with never feeling..."
~ End of Part 14 ~

I must say.... happiness is a really strange thing...
I was feeling normal, almost happy with no reason...
I was even trying to help a friend...
But why? Why this sudden change of mood? Is it just jealousy?
No it can´t be... jealousy does not hurt like this...
Envy? Maybe...
But I actually imagine this is the pain of loosing a friend. I feel stolen, abandoned... oh Hell.
I am lost...

It is impressive...
I always said that Time if too much could destroy anything.
After seeing a massacre I thought that my heart would be so deeply wounded that all the love I had would have vanished.
But now I know.
Even after all I have passed I still have old feelings left. They weren´t destroyed, though they were really weakened, they still exist..... and that calms me....
There may be hope in the horizon.... maybe not in the future, but in the past...

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
I have been to many places, I have seen a great deal of suffering, I have heard of people killing themselves just because of little things.
But in all my life I have never seen anyone be so tormented by a pain like I am.
Why can´t I have just a little bit of peace? Why the pain goes on? Is this the feeling of loosing your soul, or just the feeling of loosing someone too important?
This is a battle I fear I cannot win... so what option do I have?
I have to wait, even if I don´t want to. I just hope my life changes quickly.
To all of those who survived true pain and now are happy, I hope I become one of you.
To all who never felt true pain, I hope that none of you ever feel this.
And to all who have a friend in true pain, for all sixteen gods, help your friends! I don´t know how you should do that, but this is a battle most can´t survive without friends, so please be the friends they need and give them a better day, a better life.
If I had a wish, I would probably wish that my friends would never have to undergo such pain, that they should have a happy life. I just fear that I won´t be there when they are happy.
To the next generation of fighters I would like to share my wisdom, and for now goes just an advice... make your friends happy. They deserve...
The chilly winds of the south caves of the Ninth Circle of Hell are calling me...
Farewell... happiness to all who deserve....