I sometimes like to believe that dreams are a slight forecast of the future, even if sometimes you have a nightmare, or bad dream, you could always try to overcome it. But when you awake and remember the best of dream, you can´t resist the urge to want it to be true, after all, if in some way it come true, it can be a very happy fate.
Good dreams remember me of the things worth fighting for... friends, love... a good dream may revive all hope, hope you thought you had lost.
The future may be yet to be revealed, but I hope this dream to be a glimpse into it.

~ Inner Monologue ~
Oh, then tell me, have I not always treated you well?
I guess not. I´m sorry, I didn´t mean to.
If there is one sure thing is that I want you to be happy!
But I guess my way of showing it does not correspond to your expectations,that is, if you have any.
The way things are, I imagine you do not like me, maybe I just don´t add any good things to your life, after all, why would any one want to be with me?!
My biggest mistake was letting this feeling grow inside, now it is way out of proportion, I guess I should never have expected you to love me, or even think you would stand by my side, as a friend, a true friend.
Anyway, you don´t seem very concerned with this relations. I do understand your reasons, but for me this is just painful, I can´t live without you, but near you I get treated like someone bad. I know I don´t deserve your love, but I hoped I was wrong, or at least I could get your frienship.
I can´t take it anymore...
I need you...
I love you...
Without you,
I´d rather die.
For I feel like my soul is already dead...
~ End Monologue ~

Viver com essa sensação tem sido exaustivo, eu não sei mais oque fazer...
Tantas são as perguntas na mina cabeça que eu não consigo responder nenhuma.
Porque eu? Porque ela? Porque agora?
... nada tem muitos por quês, eu só percebi, os meus poderes voltaram e junto voltou a minha empatia. São tantas emoções ao mesmo tempo que eu não sei com vou aguentar.
Eu quero cair no chão sem forças mas não consigo, não sei oque há de errado.
Talvez seja carência, eu não sei, eu percebi essa semana muita merda. Percebi que eu não tenho mais aqueles que lutam do meu lado, percebi que no fundo ninguém se importa... falo essas coisas muito mais emocionalmente do que racionalmente. Queria não ter essa vontade absurda de chorar, queria que algo de bom acontecesse, sei lá
no fundo, acho que isso tudo deve ser... bem se for eu não tenho oque fazer é pegar ou largar, não há como mudar essa situação nem com a mais drástica das atitudes...
Queria, sei lá, fugir desse planeta com alguém que... ah desencana, esse alguém não existe, é apenas um delírio da minha imaginação...
Espero que isso passe com o tempo, ou por ele vou ser consumido.

~ The Adventurer Chronicle 9 ~
"...then a flash passed through, bringing me to my knees. They stoped by my side and asked both at the same time:
- What happened? Are you all right?
I tried to respond, but the feeling was almost paralizing, my hand holding my armor close to my chest, I just could keep staring at the ground beneath me, until some of my strength left took some words out my mouth, I barely could understand what I was saying, my mind couldn´t keep much track with all those sensations...
- Oh, this strange.... what is going on? This pain, this void... I can´t explain, I feel far from here. Something is wrong, my heart... can´t hold... why? what? who? far... pain... no, not... alone...
At the end of my words, I couldn´t hold my consciousness, I felt alone, unguarded, unprotected, empty...alone... and then I fell on the ground unconscious...
~ End of Part 9 ~

I feel now my past coming back,
Its echoes haunting my soul.
Now they have backup,
And I find myself alone.
I fear for my weakness,
I fear I don't feel well.
I fear I may not be strong enough,
I fear I may not survive.
In the end I don't think it is bad.
As for this time, I am really alone...

~ The Adventurer Chronicle 8/II ~
"...I was expecting to be unnoticed, but I wasn´t. The friends voice in the rain was quite supportive: - You know, no matter how long you stare at the moon, she will not like you more...
- I know, but maybe the moon will come to like me more.
- What, more?! As if you weren´t already overblessed by the "moon".
I smiled, altough i knew the conversation was going te get serious. He paused for a while, then said: - I know it´s hard all you have been through with Selina...sorry.
At the sound of her name my body flinched, flexing all my muscles. After a few seconds he continued: - But still, this new girl is going, it´s going to be a really a difficult relationship. She is not like the other girls we know.
- I know that very well, too well. I probably can´t do anything to get her to care for someone, or something, she just isn´t tunned with sentimental feelings. But you see she has a lot of potential?
- Yes, I do. I also noticed she is kind of a mix between Selina and Steff!
I gently smiled at the precise observation and elaborated: - Yeah, some of Steff´s sweet and innocent stile, with the mature detached independence from Selina. Man I miss her, I have to see her soon.
- Well if they didn´t lie to us, we should find her in two more days. Well I am getting tired, maybe you should get some rest too.
- I´m going to apreciate this view, one of the best Hecata has presented to me, and later I will go, thanks, you should be exausted after today, go on to bed.
- Yeah I will, good night.
Then he went back to sleep, while I stood there for some more time, until I got tired and finally went to bed."
~ End of Part 8 ~

~ The Adventurer Chronicle 8/I ~
"... it was raining, I was too worried by the events
of the last couple weeks. I got up, and walked towards
the edge of the cliff, it was one of the most perfect
views I had ever seen... the storm that was pouring
over us was coming in our direction, so down near the
horizon you could see the end of the storm giving way
to a clear dark sky, and below the great sea of
Yunsai, standing calm through the rain, touching the
moon that was far still in the horizon, dividing the
line of the sea from the sky...
I stood there sitting in the ground holding my knees,
and gazing thoughtfully in to the beautiful moon over
the rain. Some time must have passed, at least many
thoughts did, but nothing did actually resolve,
until..."
~ End of Part /I ~

Bem hoje eu estou descansando, machuquei ontem o pescoço me espreguiçando...acreditem....ridículo...
Amanhã é meu primeiro dia de aula do ano....espero que as coisa retornem ao normal logo. Bem daqui a pouco escrevo mais uma crônica, agora vou lá cuidar das coisas, já volto......

All this rage....I can´t control it. It´s too strong....or maybe I don´t want to control it. I see the storm building in the horizon, coming to me, the Thunders strike with the fury of my rage, the rain falls with the sadness of my heart.
My mind relax in the sight of such a great show, maybe I were to find my place inside this storm and far away from human lives...
as Darkness closes by, I don´t know if I am afraid or I am at peace....
Suddenly falling into Oblivion seems more interesting than journeying through the sands of tima.......

~ The Adventurer Chronicle 7 ~
"As I stood looking at the white pale face, with so many delicate features,I wondered what was her business with me. We stayed silent for some minutes, until her soft voice peacefully pronounced in a calming way: "I have observed you for a long time now, you have developped quite a lot, and yet you haven´t noticed me at all. Now your quest will end here, as it should have ended in the Vahastac Valley!"
With a feint to the left she twisted to deliver a fierce blow in a right swing of her Soul Shatter sword. The quick blow was only slow enough for me to arch my back away from the sword, just in time to see it cut the strap of my backpack. Just as I got back up, I saw her gracefully turn in a familiar pattern of moves to come with the fastest downward hack I had ever seen, and with my weight still umbalanced I could not dodge in time, I could only stand to feel the thins blade slash through my soul........."
~ End of Part 7 ~

Yeah I forgot to mention.....
MY POWERS ARE FINNALY BACK!!!!!!!!
After a long time in the area below the point of no power, I have been there recovering from some devastating blows, well either way Recently I have recovered enough to raise again and claim my power back.....
The back down is that I have felt some strange feelings recently, like something is REALLY wrong, and I haven´t been able to figure out what is wrong...but nonetheless I am happy to have my powers back...
Bye Bye now, see you all soon...

I has been long since I last posted... these vacations were really odd, though I had some great times, and some major disapointments. I did something crazy, expecting to generate happyness for others and my self, and the only result was me getting hurt.
I played a lot of Games, RPGs, went to the beach, studied, and some other minor stuff.
Hope I will beggin posting here more often....
Well I must be going now, I leave you with a thought...
"The battles you fight are only as wroth and noble as your reasons to fight it."
~ Sentat Orank, Dragon Master ~

Então, voltei de viagem...
já é ano novo, eu estava no Espírito Santo, na casa dos meus primos, visitei uma amiga no aniversário dela, foi legal...
Mas estou feliz de estar devolta, estou esperando meu pc novo, jogando bastante.
Mas sei la no fundo estou triste, saudades de umas pessoas...
Until next time

Muito tempo sem postar aqui, nem tenho oq dizer.....
passou um ano mais, vi coisas novas, conheci pessoas especiais, e vi que ainda existe esperança para outras pessoas....
Desci mais algumas vezes ao inferno, e estive por breves vezes no paraíso, aprendi a conviver mais com a dor, e a sempre ter esperança nas novas pessoas.
Confiança....algo difícil de se construir e fácil de quebrar, mais uma vez...
Mas dor é perceber, que tudo aquilo no qual sua alma se apoiava não passava de uma ilusão, uma manipulação da realidade, pura e simples mentira..... sentir seu corpo cair no ritmo de sua alma, esperando a morte que chegou antes à alma, do que ao corpo. No fundo, não há nada que posso me atingir, até que algo me torne atigível, e assim deixo de ser capaz daquilo que era, e luto finalmente pra ser capaz de fazer qualquer coisa...
Lutas intensas,
sempre imensas.
Pelo vivacidade,
que é sem piedade,
na vida eterna,
da morte interna.

May the sands of time heal it all, or take us to oblivion!

~ The Adventurer Chronicle 6 ~
Just some words, from an old friend of mine....
"May time pass, and it´s sands heal all problems, or make us fall into Oblivion."
-Gadel, Time Master.
~ End of Part 6 ~

People may think I am pessimist,
People are always disappointed with things...
I avoid that by expecting no more than fairness.
And even when the world may seem most unfair,
Someone comes into your life and make it all,
seem worth and fair.......
Be patient, the most important people in your life,
will appear when you least expect to make you feel better...
May all gods bless you with all the luck you need.....
~ Maelstron ~

So most people are familiar with the Snowball theory, but most people do not realize, that this theory is quite present in our lives.....
You should try to notice, that when, something good happens, many other good things follow, right after. Same goes to bad things, they mostly tend to get worse and worse.
It is really hard when that happens, because it becomes quite hard to stop the efect, because bad things can be so stressful, and it can dry you energies so fast, you won't even notice until you are too weak to try and stop the Snowball efect...
So be careful when something bad happens and try to avoid other bad things in a row, this advice might be valueable some day, to someone, at least I hope...........

Aeee faz tempo que naum ponho nada entaum fica com essa musica muito loka....

"Lord of battle I pray on bended knee conquest by the rising sun
I’ll wait for thy command with flame and blood at hand
Glory and a broken sword.

I’m the master of the world I have no fear of man or beast
Born inside the soul of the world
Riding hard breaking bone with steel and stone
Eternal might I was born to wield.

Let us drink to the battles we’ve lived and we’ve fought
Celebrate the pain and havoc we have wrought
Great heroes charge into the fight
From the north to the south in the black of night

The clash of honor calls to stand when others fall
Gods of war feel the power of my sword

Drink to the battles we’ve lived and we’ve fought
Celebrate the pain and havoc we have wrought
Great heroes charge into the fight
From the north to the south in the black of night

Fierce is my blade fierce is my hate born to die in battle
I laugh at my fate
Now pay in blood when your blood has been spilled
You’re never forgiven death is fulfilled !

The clash of honor calls to stand when others fall
Gods of war feel the power of my sword

The clash of honor calls
I will stand when others fall
Open magic doors
They will know the power of my sword

There is blood in my hands there is blood in my eyes
With blood in my voice I scream as you die
Thirsting for vengeance and mounds of the slain
Shaking the forest onto the plain

Fierce is my blade fierce is my hate born to die in battle
I laugh at my fate
Now pay in blood when your blood has been spilled
You’re never forgiven death is fulfilled !

The clash of honor calls to stand when others fall
Gods of war feel the power of my sword"

Depois de um tempo sem postar nada como buscar inspiracao em uma grande música...
Existem tantas das quais eu tiro palavras de sabedoria...
"
Oh yeah!
Alright!
Well, I don't show off, don't criticise,
I'm just living by my own feelings.
And I won't give in, won't compromise,
'Cause I only have a steadfast heart of gold.
I don't know why I can't leave, though it might be tough,
But I ain't out of control just living by my word.
Don't ask me why, I don't need a reason,
I got my way, my own way.
It doesn't matter now what happens,
I will never give up the fight.
Long as the voice inside drives me to run and fight,
It doesn't matter who is wrong or who is right.
Well, I don't look back, I don't need to,
Time won't wait, and I got so much to do,
Where do I stop, now it's all a blur, it's so unclear,
Well, I don't know, but I can't be wrong.
It doesn't matter now what happens,
I will never give up the fight,
Long as the voice inside drives me to run and fight,
Put all the bets on the one you think is right!
(INSTRUMENTAL)
Oh, it doesn't matter now what happens,
I will never give up the fight.
Long as the voice inside drives me to run and fight,
It doesn't matter who is wrong and who is right.
Nooo, no, no, no
It doesn't matter!
"

I am now beginning to see that the world may be fair after all...
After years and years believing that life was unfair, I have como to think it may be fair in subtle ways. That we may deserve our pain and suffering, for many actions done wrong, that we think as normal or as right.

So many times I wished for a better life, thinking I did not deserve so much pain and suffering, but recently I have done an act vile, cruel, just plain bad, and yet I did not realize its cruelty until it was already done. I now keep asking myself if I have done wrong before and see so many errors that I have como to think I might actually deserve the most fierce and strong pain that there is...............

Now I face a new level of pain. Somewhat deeper than before. You now that sensation of I don't deserve this pain, and teh sensation of knowing you done something wrong. The mix of those two feelings, has created a deep regret for my past and made me accept the old pain, maiking room for new ones.

I know I've done many stupid things in the past, many wrong things...but what I have realized now is by far much more painful than other mistakes I have done. To hurt, cause pain or suffering to someone you love is the greatest mistake I could ever do, but this was not the first time but I hope it to be the last. Maybe by now, by all I have done, I may have lost her trust, and in part her frindship, I just hope to have time to save something more precious than my life...

Well there is not much left, I could ask everyone I have done wrong for forgiveness, but I wouldn't make things right...I just wish there were a way to undo my wrongs or at least make up for them!!!