~ The Adventurer Chronicle 17 ~
"...and as the silence entered the tenth minute I just had to get out of there.
- I am going to scout ahead, be right back.
- Wait, I am going with you, this place is dangerous. - said Cid speeding up.
Then we hasted in front of the group, with quick long jumps, until we were out of hearing range, and sight for that matter. Then I asked.
- Why the silence? I don't get it, did I do something wrong?
- Well... kind of. Don't you know what it is? It's like screaming in your face!
- What do you mean?
- You really have no clue about this. What happened is that you were unfair with her. You spend so much energy trying to help everyone that you don't see that you are not the only one making an effort. You expect everyone to do their best, but sometimes you fail to see that they are doing their best, sometimes even more. Maybe because you know most things before they happen, or because you mostly know what every one is feeling, maybe the things we do, like what she did, may seem expected, but you forget that she was trying her best, and not only was she doing so, but she was doing it because she loves you. She is trying her best to make you happy, so you won't have to suffer any more than you already have, but she can't do miracles, and everytime you push your own limites you tend to expect more from us, and I find it a little unfair with her. The thing you don't realize is the same thing you think we don't realize.
That was a clear vision of the picture, one I hate to admit, but nonetheless true. I was going to say something, not to defend myself, but to clarify somethings, but my attention was caught by..."
~ End of Part 17 ~

Saudades do passado,
dos tempos antigos,
de bardos amigos,
e javali assado.

Saudosos estes cantos
que eu nunca ouvi
desta epoca de santos
onde eu não vivi.

Compaixão pelas ruas
nas amizades eternas
as noites eram suas,
a conhecer as tavernas.

Quando necessário
a ajuda era certa,
fosse o templário,
ou a mada esperta.

Diziam de seus medos
aqueles que eram poucos
contava-se nos dedos
menos dos que eram loucos.

Se na vida de aventura
lhe faltasse felicidade
descobriria na amizade
uma estranha ternura.

Pra se viajar sem rumo
conhecer novos lugares
cada dia levado sem prumo
pela compania sobre mares.

Minha alma aqui transcende,
onde meu carinho reside,
onde ninguém me preside,
onde existe quem me entende.

Onde partilho de alegrias
participo de outras vidas
sem tristes despedidas
acompanhado nas noites frias.

Onde partilho as tristezas
no carinho de outros braços
fortalecendo antigos laços
com amizades como certezas.

Diferente de onde vivo
onde essa vida sedentária
representa um papel ativo
nas noites solitárias.

Espero um dia aqui achar
um bardo a me acompanhar
alguem sempre do meu lado
este sim seria um achado.

Algo vindo do meu passado ^^ :

"Num dia tempos atras,
conheci uma garota
bonita e marota,
legal e muito sagaz.

Ela era muito calma,
talvez até demais.
Sem avisar minha alma,
de seus talentos especiais.

Mas conforme convivemos,
me inebriei em sua beleza,
e quanto mais nos conhecemos
mais eu tinha certeza.

Mais e Mais eu pensava nela,
e numa noite ao relento,
que mesmo sem lua era bela.

Pois sua presença me encantava,
e após tanto tempo,
meu coração de amor gritava.

Por ela fui buscar,
na terra e no mar,
um ser magico e encantado.
Um unicórnio, talvez alado.

Procurei em fotos,
nos lugares altos,
também nos pontos baixos,
sendo fêmeas, sendo machos.

Isso que eu sinto,
é forte e verdadeiro.
Não escondo e não minto,
me faz tremer inteiro.

Tanta sorte, eu penso,
pelo dia que te conheci,
que cultivou amor intenso.

Que hoje eu declamo,
o que eu sinto por ti,
que eu realmente te amo."

Tempos bons...que o tempo não trará devolta.

Vor sechs Monaten, mein Leben drastisch geändert. Meine Willensenergie wurde über seinen Begrenzungen hinaus geprüft. Jetzt glaube ich, daß ich, ich überlebte sehr harte Herausforderungen stärker wurde. Ich bedauere, ein besserer Freund sein nur nicht zu können.
Ich bete, daß die, die verdienen, ein glückliches Leben leben. Ich hoffe einen Tag, den ich weniger Schmerz und mehr Freude verursache. Verzeihen Sie mir, denn meine Sünde sollte jemand lieben. Und für diese Liebe, wünsche ich Sie glücklich.
Mai holt die Zukunft Leute zusammen mit ihrer zutreffenden Liebe, also hat jeder Frieden. Glückwünsche auf diesen sechs Monaten, hoffe ich, daß ich nicht eine große Belastung für niemand war.
~ Thomas, Sonne von Hecata ~

Hypocrisy
I know I like to argue, discuss about life, the universe, and everything.
I think that disagreeing with others may cause evolution, the exchange of knowledge, the learning new points of view. Of course one would have to be willing to learn for this to work.
After many exchanges in my life, I find most thoughts to be unsuprising. I may not ever agree with others point of view, (ok most of the time I don't agree), but at least I know when someone is glad with what they believe, so I respect their opinion, for it might be right, or for all that counts, right for them, even if wrong for me. There is little point to disturbing a system that is in peace, as long as that system doesn't conflict with mine, leave it to be happy.
So I may believe unnecessary to learn more points of view, at least not at this momment, it is not something fulfilling for me, and most importantly I feel complete with all the knowledge of my life, now I must go for something more important than perspectives.
I makes me feel strange, the fact that what I wish for, is completely different than what I pray for every night.
I feel a hypocrist with this. Praying for something that isn't really what I want. Not that I don't want my prayers to come true, I want them to come true, but I know that if they did, they wouldn't satisfy me, not enough, so would find something new to pray for.
I can't pray for my wish. Not because it is nearly impossible, or because it would umbalance the world, (not that there is anyone concerned for the balance of the world), I won't pray for it because I would feel less human, it would be less according to my code of honor, because I don't want to admit such level of selfishness.
I hope one day to wish for something more like my prayers.

A fantastic definiton...
I read this passage recently and I found it perfect, not by an elaborate description, but by the simplicity of the most perfectly wierd situation describable!
"It's the wild color scheme that freaks me," said Zaphod whose love affair with this ship had lasted almost three minutes into the flight. "Every time you try to operate one of these wierd black controls that are labeled in black on a black background, a little black light lights up black to let you know you've done it. What is this? Some kind of galatic hyperhearse?"
~ The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, Douglas Adams" ~

Bonds
I was thinking... I was dreaming... I was wondering...
I was trying to understand a part missing in me. Something that was fading as time passed.
Then as I was discussing with a friend when he said to me that it was somehow sad that he didn't know very well his own friends, the ones he spends most of his time with.
It got me thinking, his words. I say my friends are the most important people in my life, but it is wierd that I didn't know a friend of mine was going through an operation, I didn't know my friend's sister almost died, I don't know where one of my friends is or that I haven't heard any new from one of my dearest friends for the last month.
So what is wrong? Did I stop, at some point, trying to know people? Or is it just getting harder to know people? Maybe both... but either way, I have to say I do not like this situation...
I love to sit down with someone, on a peaceful place, and talk away. I know I have some trouble coming up with subjects to talk about, but that is something to be thought at the moment of the talk.
I fear people are having less time to spend with friends, so they don't spend time alone with a friend, instead they try to spend "friend time" with all friends, resulting on what my friend said.
I would really love if I could go out with one friend at a time for a change, but that only happens when it comes to having to do work in pairs. I hope I can change the situation, and enjoy long talks about life with my friends, I would like to know what is going on, if there is any trouble I can help with, if there is something we could do together to have fun.
Efectively, I would just like to create bonds to my friends.
"Friends come and go, but with the precious few you should hold on."
~ Baz Luhrmann - Sunscreen ~

Pensamentos...
Depois de um longo dia, entre cenas estranhas, filmes gostosos, filmes tristes, conquistas pessoais, confissões desmedidas, silêncio, lágrimas, músicas, risadas, animações, testes, estudos, lembranças e muitos pensamentos, eu termino o dia pensando tantas coisas que eu quero mais é dormir. Penso em como as pessoas agem.
Aqui eu vou apenas ficar com uma referência, que no meio da confusão da minha mente poucas idéias fazem algum sentido, porém esses sentimentos representam uma parte de mim ainda imutável.
Uma parte daquilo que eu sinto está representado numa música, que não só por seu significado lírico, mas também por eventos de minha, ela representa algo especial.
Essa música, cujo nome eu não revelarei, tem em seu começo um pequeno comentário:
"Não alimente os sibers"
Imagino que algumas pessoas até saibam de que música se trata. Ela me fez compania em muitas noites regadas a sentimentos. Pra mim ele representa muita coisa doque eu estou sentindo.

Eu pretendia escrever uma coisa diferente aqui hoje.
No meio de todas as minhas lágrimas, eu resolvo mudar isso.
Eu queria prestar duas homenagens aqui.
A primera é para o escritor Douglas Adams.
Ao ler seus livros vejo um jeito gosto de falar da realidade, explicar coisas que não necessitam explicação, mas são explicadas pra trazer humor para o mundo.
Meus parabéns, suas histórias são dignas de entrar pra história do mundo, e serem lembradas e contadas até o fim dos tempos.
A segunda é para Daniel Wallace o escritor de "Big Fish", que mostra oque é tentar trazer alegria pra vida das outras pessoas. Adaptado por John August o filme é fantástico, um conto gostoso, pra revelar a bondade das pessoas que tentam trazer um brilho novo pra vida, mostrar um jeito gostoso de contar as coisas para que os seus ouvintes sorriam mais.
A vida não passa de muitos fatos, e em sua maioria não é interessante. Mas sempre existe um outro jeito do olhar pra coisas, porque a vida naum precisa ser algo simples, pode muito bem ser uma história fantástica.
Eu muito quis, eu ainda quero, que minha vida fosse assim, mais uma história a ser contada doque os simples fatos que a formam.
Eu queria homenagear as pessoas que se esforçam pra tornar a vida das outras pessoas uma vida mais alegre. Aqueles que não esperam nada em troca, mas mesmo assim fazem as pessoas sorrirem, dos jeitos mais bobos, ou mais elaborados, seja contando histórias, seja comprando flores, ouvindo as dores dos outros ou mesmo maquinando sem que os outros saibam, pra que no fim as pessoas estejam sorrindo. Eu admiro essas pessoas, queria ter o dom de trazer alegria pra vida dos outros, queria que meus pais soubessem que eu amo e admiro eles, que meus irmãos são especiais pra mim, queria dizer pras pessoas que já me deram um ouvido que elas não sabem as alegrias que elas me trouxeram, queria que meus amigos soubessem que a compania deles foi oque tornou possível eu estar aqui escrevendo isso, queria que minhas amigas recebessem em dobro todo o carinho que elas dedicaram a mim, queria poder fazer essas pessoas felizes porque elas merecem e muito ser felizes.
Um dia gostaria de escrever como esses dois autores, tocar a vida de outras pessoas, como eles tocaram a minha.

One More Time

You gave me sweet things and flowers
You gave me a sky so blue
You gave me a rock to lean on
And I gave myself to you

We wander through each other's secrets
We traded an honored word
We shared a solemn promise
But like the raven's cry, it must be heard

Please don't take away your love dear
One mistake is not a crime
Let's start again, my love is yours dear
Your love is mine
One more time, one more time

You tell me a cold wind's a'comin'
A chill that turns a heart to stone
And your eyes say it's time to move on
Down a road you'd rather walk alone

Now pride is a raging river
You could fell the tallest tree
When some need the wings of forgiveness
And tame the stormy seas

Please don't take away your love dear
One mistake is not a crime
Let's start again, my love is yours dear
Your love is mine
One more time, one more time

You say that nothing is forever
Like the tide that comes in but doesn't stay
But our journey has taken up our lifetime
And what you give you just can't take away

I can't take away my love dear
One mistake is not a crime
Let's start again, my love is yours dear
Your love is mine
One more time, one more time

Change
It is a well known fact that humans are one of the most adaptive beings.
And as such, I have changed lots of concepts in my life during the last 8 years.
I remember that as a child I used to think that love was something weird, that kissing was a bizar thing to do. At the time I was confortable to say that I would never marry nor have kids. I made no acctual distinction between girls and boys. That would sound strange if I weren't 7 years old.
Latter I came to discover why people were so concerned with this love thing, even if it were a really strange situation, I felt that heart-pounding sensation, that unreasonable adrenaline rushing in my body, that second stretched through time as if it were an hour.
It was a new thing, interesting but not yet really needed, so my mind focused on this thing about existencialism, to come to a conclusion of that what a longed for. In the next few years I came fond of a of a more complex relationship, one of mutual caring. This feeling of being taken care, or watching over for someone's happyness, I felt peace in the arms of some girls. This also was new.
After some many different experiences I face now the greatest change in my life, as a human I am expected to change, but I never wanted to come to this situation. Now I lack a piece of my soul, this love thing that I still don't really know what is, I once thought it was useless, unimportant, now I find it strong enough to render me weak and sad, with no strengh to raise and fight.
Today I still think that I will not marry or have children, but now it is not because I want that way, it is more of a fear, a sight of the future, but I think I will have no choice in this matter.
I have this void, I fear it will never be filled, and the pain my soul bears is greater taen I could ever have expected, now I am nothing but a child crying from its fears.
I don't want to die without ever being loved back,
I don't want to die alone,
I don't want to die...

Trust
As the only living beings who claim that has a highly developed society, trust should be something very important to human kind.
As humans insist to show, there are too much people who can't be trusted, people who will betray you for the most idiotic reasons, people who will backstab any friend for personal benefit, people who will blackmail family to get power or money, and people who will simply take joy out of others misery.
Because humans have low rate of being dependable, it is often to hear someone say things like this, "Don't trust anyone!", and also find those who assume that everyone they meet is a bad(not trustable) person.
I still believe thet this is one of the worst problems in our society. Having no one to trust makes life much harder than it ever should be. I am one of those who believe that most people can be trusted to a certain point, and that people should not be pre-judged.
But maybe I am wrong. Maybe there is no one I can really count on, no one will hear my pain and treat me well, no one that would take an effort for other people and no one innocent enough to trust me.
I perfer to believe that there are people out there that can be trusted, and those people work in silence to make their friends' life better, and that is the only reason why our society structure doesn't fall apart, that there is some hope in human kind.
I hope I can find a trusting peace in someones arms.

A Dream
She which plagues my dreams, comes and goes as she pleases.
I may never get to really know her, but just thinking of her makes me smile.
She is the negative and the positive united in perfect harmony.
She never worries about unimportant things, and she will never stress about something important, she will always make you believe that everything will work out just perfect.
She will go out even if you don't want to get out, but she will smile at you when she invites you, and before you know it will be too late to refuse, and she will show you a good time you weren't expecting.
She will always know many things you don't, but you will know things she does not, and she will believe every word you say to her.
She may be very mature, she will take care of so many things you will not be able to keep track, and even so she will come quietly near you, look into your eyes with those gleaming eyes, and say: "I am cold, give me a hug!", and you will get a bigger chair so she can sit with you until she sleeps in your arms with the same peace of a baby.
She will come when you least expect and slap you butt, say you are getting fat, just to see the look on your face, and she will never do that again, but she will to something different and strange when you least expect.
Even if you won't go with her to all the places, she will always be there with you when you need, when you just want to share a moment with her and specially when you weren't expecting she will show up with a picnic basket and follow you around.
She will be interested in what you do, like a curious child, even if she doesn't like what you do.
You will spend so much time together, you will never miss her, or need to call each other, and no matter what, you know you will see her again.
You will see that even if you manage to spend twelve hours with her without any actual conversation, she will drag you away from the mob, even if that means she will yell at your boss, just to talk to you when you are in the need to talk.
You will never worry about her while she is happy, but the moment she stops smiling you will know, even if you are miles apart.
She will come to you to pour her heart, but you will never hear her say anything bad from anyone.
She will never complain about her hair or how she is fifteen grams over weight, but one day she will storm out yelling at everyone just because someone ate the last cookie, you will remember taking that cookie as she stomps on the ground and looks at you with the only fury in her eyes, and then she will just smile and say:"Oh well, I am going to buy some more cookies, do you want something?", and smile and leave just as if nothing ever happened.
She will never be demanding, she won't cry because her clothes are different shades of pink, because there is no milk in the fridge or because she just didn't get what she wants, but she will always have strong opinions. She will do what makes her happy at the moment, she will wear pink because she wants, even if going to a law school. She won't do anything she dislikes just because someone says it is better.
She will sometimes disagree with you, but if you don't end up agreeing with her or vice-versa, she will smile and respect you wishes and opinions, she will help you even if she thinks it is wrong, and will always hope that makes you happy, because at least that will make everything worth and meaningful.
You will see her smiling with no reason, just to discover that she saw a dog chasing a butterfly.
By her side you will learn that everything and everyone has a good side. She will try to see all points of view, she will agree with the one that makes her feel better, but she will never fail to understand your side, respect it and support you however she can.
She will stop staring at an outdoor, and tell you what that reminds her, or some curious fact about her life or that outdoor.
She will hold your hand, drag you to the beach, she will introduce you to so many people you will lose count, but even is she know half of the world, she will give you all her attention.
She is so independent, so self-sufficient, she will never need someone by her side, but she will always want you by her side every time possible, just because she enjoys your company. If you offer help she will accept even if she needs no help, even if it is the only excuse for you to be together at that moment.
You will play games and roll through the grass, time will fly but you will always feel like it was worth to spend every second with her.
She will know all your friends, they will get along very well. You will know her friends, and you will like them. But no matter what, you will always know that what you have is more special than you could have wished for.
Your heart will find a heavenly peace when you are near her, even if she is not talking to you. You will feel like a better person because how she looks at you.
She will make you blush in public every time possible, and smile at you while doing so, and you will blush proudly because that smile is for you.
You will try to make her happy every second possible, and you will know she deserves, she will never ask of you anything more because of this, and even if you screw up big time and end up hurting her, she will just smile and say it is ok, she will tell you she knows you didn't mean to hurt her, and you will feel sorry because you were bad enough to hurt that smile.
She will bring your life to a complete chaos and disorder, but you would never have had a happier life other way, and in the end you will see that chaos resulting in a way better than you would have expected.
You will be thankful for having her in your life, and she will be simply happy because you are happy.
You will grab her off the ground and take her to places that you never taken anyone else, and she will say, while gazing at the beautiful place, that you should have brought her there before, so you could have spent more time there together.
She will never leave you.
She will be at your wedding.
You will be at hers.
And when you have any doubt you will remember that everything you have to endure, each deception, each pain and each energy spent for others is worth because at the end of the day you have someone that most people won't have.
She will make it all worth.
And you will be happy.
As she will to.
I just wish I knew her real name...^^

I have been thinking...
How far are we from the Ideal Plane?
As is known by most that every reference you use is just a way to call something from the Ideal World that does not existe here, but it represents a concept we all understand. (Like the basic example of the chair, the one you imagine is diferent than mine, but has the same concept as mine.)
I said today, "It's strange how things never go by the idealistic way.", that sentence got me thinking about the ideal results of an effort. I never had an Ideal Result, but I think I have seen others have Ideal Results, I may be wrong, but assuming I am right this time, I started to believe that we are not far from obtaining Ideal Results.
So what is keeping most people to reach those results?
I could only imagine people are just not trying to reach out so far, it would require more work than they want. People are actually willing to sacrifice a better result out of being laizy!!!
As I said before, people are just too confortable the way they live because it is easier to live with what you have than what you REALLY want. (Those iginorant bastards.) But fair is fair, if they want that way good for them, bad for those who want the best... as we know the result of many many little flaws can escalonate into a catastrophe.
It's frustating to know that to reach a nice result I will have to work because people are once again too much self centered to help, or give support.
Even if I am complaining, I have to recognize that each person has it's own problems, and mayba they can't help, so it is unfair to expect that every has to help. But I will admit that I know a fair amount of people who are really(or so they say) happy! My dilemma stands, should I leave and let them be happy and risk my whole life in one twist to the future, or should I fight for an Ideal Result that may change many lives?
I do belive that ignorance is a blessing, but until what point should I let others, specially my friends be blinded that way?
I just hope I can find a way to enlighten everyone without making anyone less happy, and find that way soon.

Eu volto minha mente para o passado, após ver alguns textos, lembrar de algumas falas, e observar o rumo atual do meu espírito...
Sinto saudades daquelas épocas que eu passava um tempo gostoso conversando com as minhas amigas. Olhando bem... eu nunca passei muito tempo conversando com as pessoas, pelo menos não como eu gostaria. Tive meus dias que eu carrego na memória onde eu passei toda a tarde, ou toda a noite conversando. Mas a época boa se foi, aqueles que estavam sempre do meu lado agora se preocupam demais com coisas pessoais. Eu me sinto cada vez mais afastado daquilo que eu queria, abrindo mão de um lado, de outro, e adaptando o resto aos estados emocionais.
Me falta conversas pessoais, sem tempo pra parar ou pessoas pra interromper.
Me falta... tanta coisa, coisas derivadas de uma mesma coisa. Cada um ve as coisas que falta na sua vida, seja motivação, objetivo, amor, amigos, família. Considero no entanto injusto que algumas pessoas reclamem, consideraria injusto eu reclamar não fosse o meu ponto de vista, tem pessoas que se dizem ter tudo de importante, dizem estar plenamente felizes, e justo pessoas assim são as que tendem mais a só ligar pro mundo delas. Como as pessoas podem se auto centrar tanto?
Claro, de um ponto de vista eu devo ser o auto centrado, fico aqui reclamando porque eu não tenho aquilo que eu quero. O que me consola é que eu estou sempre preocupado com o bem estar dos outros.
Talvez tenha chegado a hora de eu me calar. Minha voz expressa apenas dor, não trago assim coisas boas para os outros, melhor então que se faça o silêncio. Não sei quando vou postar aqui denovo.
Se no mundo eu me calar será que alguem perceberia, deixar que os outros levem a vida como eles quiserem, um dia espero poder realizar alguma vontade minha, nem que seja descansar em paz pra sempre...

Eu me pergunto se é ruim imaginar aquilo que algo poderia ser.
Por um acaso é errado o pintor olhar pra tela em branco e pensar que poderia ser uma obra de arte?
Por um acaso o arquiteto naum deveria olhar para um espaço em branco e sonhar com a futura casa naquele lugar?
Eu acredito que as grandes coisas da humanidade, coisas essenciais que nem percebemos o quão importantes elas são, vieram das pessoas que imaginaram o melhor possivel.
Eu sei que isso gera uma possível decepção, mas não seria o mais correto arriscar pelos nossos sonhos?
Eu odeio ver potencial jogado fora!
Não sei se tem algum motivo pra isso, que seja destino na concepção de algumas pessoas, mas eu vim a conhecer muitas pessoas que possuem um potencial enorme para crescer na vida. Pessoas que um dia poderiam ser aclamadas como "heróis", pessoas que podem fazer a diferença na vida da maioria das pessoas, pessoas que não percebem que elas podem ser melhores...
claro, sou pego agora dizendo que EU sei qual é o conceito de melhor. Claro talvez isso seja apenas o meu ponto de vista, talvez essas pessoas não queiram ser melhores.
Odeio ver alguém que pode jogar um jogo tão bem parar por besteira.
Odeio que algumas pessoas acreditem serem incapazes de melhorar naquilo.
Pessoas podem até nascer com facilidade, mas isso não impede de alguém se tornar bom em algo diferente daquilo que tem facilidade.
Talvez eu seja o meu próprio exemplo, talvez por isso eu odeie tanto que os outros cometam esse erro.
Eu vi uma semente da mais bela árvore se distorcer em algo bem pior do que podia. E eu não pude fazer nada, ao menos minhas tentativas foram em vão.
Vi uma semente exótica se tornar naquilo que deveria.
Espero que um dia as pessoas tenham da minha amizade a vontade de melhorar, evoluir, e serem seres humanos melhores. Isso valeria grande parte dos meus esforços.
Melhorar, apenas um atalho para fazer aquilo que te faz feliz.
Desnecessário para aqueles que estão mergulhados em felicidade.
Odeio pessoas acomodadas!
Para aqueles que melhoraram das piores situações possíveis, e também das mais confortáveis, desejo pra vocês a felicidade suprema.

Why do I hear these noises, why I don't just ignore them?
I hear these voices, and I want it to stop. Stop the noise.
Noise...hummm
this which is nothing but the truth.
Why do I fear so much the truth?
People, usually my friends, often tell me the truth, most times I know it, but even so it hurts sometimes. I can't explain why, I just know the way some people tend to tell the truth is mostly hurtful.
I exist now only for a job that is no longer required. I am but a memory of what was once great, once needed. My purpose, my life, my fight now ends lost in time, because of lack of objectives, I now just roam...
I roam driven by anger,
My anger filled by my deception,
My deception powered by love,
Love replenished by time.
So in the end, in time being, I will keep on going, walking a road no one uses.
I have no purpose.
I am not of help.
I am a memory.
To be lost in time.
I bid farewell.
I shall leave to a place where time transends space. Where there is a tree so old, that no one remebers before her. So tall that no one could climb to the top. With so many leaves that I would give shadow to a whole town. But most importantly, in a place so quiet that even my thoughts would be silent. So then I can rest, under a Tree, at the top of a Hill, feeling the Wind, and away from life.
~ Maelstron, the Limit Breaker ~

Inspiration has left me, just like everything before.

"Retribution"
I wonder how many people in this world live by the retribution system.
"If someone does you a favor, if possible you should return it."
This system can be extended for every kind of situation.
If someone offer you something, sometime you should offer back.
If someone gave you a lift, you should try to return it someday.
If someone shared a secret, you also should share one.
Even in bad things.
If someone hurt you, you deserve to hurt one back.
But nice people try to avoid using this system for the bad side.
"If someone hurt you, try to forgive, and hope that your kindness is rewarded."
Many people respect that, but most try to take advantage of it.
On the other side there are those who avoid being included in this system. Those who do no like to have a debt of gratitude with others. These people are those who avoid accepting an offer, a favor, help or admitting they could use aid from another.
These people, of great pride, only result to others when they have no other solution or when they feel like they won't need to return the favor.
I may not be impartial this time, but I really feel troubled by people full of pride. I think they are hurting themselves and people who care for them.
But I guess it is better than being a mean, or a vindictive person.
But for all that matters, retribution is one way to help each other.
And good is made by those who help.

I was wondering.
In so many thoughts one was stronger than the others.
I was trying to enjoy being alone, away from people, with no work to do, just me and myself to relax.
But I felt uneasy. I miss having people around me.
In some way, their company is distracting, and even having trouble dealing with them is better because of their company.
It got me thinking if the feeling would be the same for them.
Do they like being alone or with friends?
That lead to the last wonder of my mind...
Am I a better company than nobody?
I would like to know what I should do to be a better company.