The Sound

I hate it!
Every single thing...
I don't remember anymore if it was always like this.
Maybe it has been too long.
Maybe I always did hate it.
At first it might have sounded like a better solution.
Could have been just a delusional thought.
I was just trying to avoid worse fates.
I had seen what happened without them.
Maybe a long one could help control the fringe cases.
But my ability to access my surroundings only got worse with time.
One more just for precaution.
One more to save other from myself.....
one more to save me from others?
I don't know what I was thinking.
When I realized the situation had gotten out of hand, I had lost sight of any control.
Blind.... sharing this space with that sound.
Maybe I could take some time to recover here.
I should be safe....
ha!....
Hard to imagine I ever had the heart to chose a different path.
Don't think I could have fought through the potential pain.
Then again, never had I imagined things would change like this.
So many restraints.
Growing stronger in time.
Tighter in regret.
Shorter in fear.
Don't think I can break free.
But I keep trying.
And the sound indicates every shake.
Every clank reverberating with the fears meant to keep me in place.
This dark place, forgotten.
My only company these chains that I've created.
Now more mature than my capacity to remove them.
I hate the sound they make.
Every movement a constant remainder of the narrow path to thread.
Yet.....
I fear much more what the silence has to offer.