Facing the Truth
6 years ago my life changed... drastically.
We look at our past, and remember events.
Since that day, so many things happened.
I've seen deep fears come true. I've seen the selfish side of humans.
I've seen how helpless I was, and in the process, how self absorbed I acted.
I know, when people are plunged into their worst nightmares, there's little they can do to act civil, and I see how poorly, despite my age, I reacted.
My actions had their ramifications, and consequences. I've lost important friends. I saw how fragile the bonds around me really were.
I learned how to turn despair into resolution, and took arms to fight for my own freedom. But I fought the wrong battle, I fought to free myself from the shackles of responsibility, instead, I should have fought for myself, for my humanity, for being a better person.
I've paid the price. With the road I choose, the power I used, there was a cost. As I knew, it was steep, but blinded I saw no other way.
I traveled. Far, close... to many places. I've seen beauties in my country that make me proud and humble to live in this planet. I've gone abroad, with friends, and for a slight moment, on my own.
I traveled with friends. And with family too. I've seen that different places, are not so different.
Neither are people.
I've had lots of fun. I had friends to keep my mind busy most of the time. I created stories, games, songs, adventures.
I've changed jobs a few times.
I moved to a new city. And met new and incredible people.
I was robbed... twice. But, despite the frustration and injustice. It is as insignificant as a grain of sand in the beach.
Countless movies.
I've got engaged in worlds that now I hold so dearly with me.
I've bought two videos game consoles.
I got to know a face of beauty and kindness. And even though, we are apart, she gave me a lot, and I am thankful and wish everyday for her happiness.
I've got to live some adventures.
Being at a distant view, I saw the changes in bonds around me. Bonds filling with tears. I saw unexpected bonds blooming incredibly.
I heard people telling to wait.
I heard people telling me to take action.
I learned that it's not about either one. MY life, is about reacting, doing the things needed when they are needed, and waiting when it's right.
I miss the life I had.
I miss what I was.
But it's not about what could have been, or what I should have done. It's about making my life the best it will allow me to achieve.
I won't forget that day. I think I can't. I'll take it with me to my grave, or to the crematory if anyone pays attention to my desires.
But six years latter, I realized something I've known for some time.
That day, that day of the year, contrary to the first few years, is no longer a part of my life.
Despite it being a reminder that I now don't even pay attention to, I does not affect me.
My life now is fully independent from that event.
Despite what I do feel now, despite the price I paid or the memories that will serve as lesson, I don't care about that particular event anymore.
My life has found a path with no intersections with that event.
Not that I'm celebrating of complaining.
It's about accepting.
It's about me fully understanding that my life has moved on. Full of troubles and sorrows. But glowing with friends and fun. Still with a lot of opportunities. I don't need to look to the doors that were closed, or the doors that opened. I just live in a knew situation, and I'm focused in dealing with it, and not the past that led me there.
We can't fight things stronger than us. But it is still our own story, and we can answer to the call of the wind, take the stage without questioning, and act the lead role of our lives.