Sanity
I miss my old friendships,
I miss having someone to talk to,
I miss having hope,
I miss that thrill of a new game,
I miss dreaming that someone will someday surprise me with a nice day,
I miss sleeping without waking up every hour.
I can't take this anymore, I am completely tired, exhausted. All the troubles I have been through, and every discussion with others, all the stress studying, and no fun for me, no reward in the end, only pain and stress. And all that I have waited for is no happening. It will be a much more boring vacation than I expected.
It seems as people work against me. Everything I plan, want to do or invite anyone to join me, is a failure. People ignore, plan things over to do what they want, or simply don't show up. I wonder what has happened in my life to be in this point.
The only things that work in my life are when I try to do something for others, to make others happy. Yes I easy can get things from around the world if it means giving a nice present to someone. But every action to get something I want badly fail miserably.
As my hope and sanity crumbles with exhaustion, I believe once again that I was born to make other people happy, and that I was cursed never to be truly happy.
Sorry, I can't take any more problems.
Sorry, it's just the end of a bad day, maybe I'll be better tomorrow.