A Flashback
I hate this, once again I let my inner child take the chance... try once again to have some group fun. Why do I even bother? It is almost like I didn't knew what was going to happen.
I now stand, evading, there is something in front of me, something I don't want to look at, something I know what it is almost too well, something I ran away once after fighting to the ground. Now I have to find a way around it, or take a great turn a leave it behind once more. Before me is my past, it was more powerful than me before, and it will be again. After it is my future, or at least one future, to face my past in order to go to this future would take some major wounds, that could lead to a bad future.
You know, I feel sad, this is one of those things that shouldn't happen twice. But even when I try to avoid it, it comes after me, to break my spirit. Now in a relationship that is more complicated than I would imagine, with an old problem and fighting back the hope inside my heart, I can feel my sanity splitting. That feeling of let out, the feeling of confusion, love, friendships blinking, despair towards the college and at the same time the will to build some friendships, to persue a love I can't, to finish my RPG system and many ideas for my book sprouting everywhere. This from a mere glimpse at my past...
Once again I find my mind to be a whirlpool of thoughts, my body to be a vortex of clashing energies and my soul to be a boiling mixture of feelings.
I wish you would rise and take me away, make me laugh, put me on or lad and gently caress my hair saying that it will all be ok. I wish I could find a friendship solid enough for me to lean on. I wish to would stop, or at least my life... but nothing stops in this world.
I work softly behind every ones eye, I search for things that may bring happiness, and I succeed frequently. But I am yet to see something that will bring happiness to me.
May my name echoe in time, and lay beside yours.