A slowly walk out of Paradise
So, I am back. It's been a long time(yeah 6 months seems like forever in this condition). But slowly I have burning my own wounds, since they didn't heal on their own I had to do something to stop the blood loss. The way I found to fdo this was to give up on my natural instincts and forcedly distance myself from anyone who has hurt me. So now I am dedicating myself to studies, trying to go out less with most I know. I'll try to enjoy better my free time, more sleep, playing nice games and working on personal projects. I officially give up trying to talk with people, I won't worrie anymore, if they don't want to talk with me screw them. I'll be nicer to anyone who is nice to me, I am still the usually sweet guy I always was, I just won't waste it on people who don't want.
This weekend I went to the park with a friend of mine. We went rollerblading. It was really nice feeling the wind passing by, my friend holding my hand, people respecting our unprotected bags and a perfect weather for a day at the park. After some playing around we went to lunch and to rest a little, hot day, had to drink a lot to quench my thirst. We decide to walk around the lake in the clycling lane, and eventually sat near the lake to observe the ducks and gueese and similar birds swimmin in the lake. We talked a bit there, then went back to the front side of the lake, near the water fountain, they were turned off, but at least we got a great spot near this huge beautiful tree. It was nice day, she tried to prowl into my life and with noble intentions she tried to make me feeel better. We shared secrets, we heard each other's problems we fished solutions and opinions from our lives. Such a nice friend, I hope she liked the day as much as I did.
Guess some things in life are really just not meant to be, besides my best efforts I stand watching some friendships fade. The difference is that now I give up, I won't fight and hurt myself for something or someone not worth it, and lots of things I once thought worth taught me they are not worth. Someone has shown me that there are still nice people to fight for, so I'll focus on solving my problems and if I have the time, I'll try to improve some friendships.
Some things also end up affecting you by quantity, even hearing song a thousand times some sentences ended up hitting me much stronger now. And following their wise words I will go on forward. Here are some sentences from songs that affected me a lot in the last year.

"So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time"

"Only a warrior with a clear heart
could have the honour to be kissed by the sun
Yes, I'm that warrior I followed my way
led by the force of cosmic soul I can reach the sword"

"You can't be a hero
Hiding underneath your bed
Got to live the life
You create inside your head
So I opened the window
Caught the wind one night
Now I sail with the birds in their flight
If you're tired of everything
Come hitch a ride with me
You'll cry out in joy
When you realize you're free
It's a trip like no other
For your heart and mind
Leaving all but the future for behind"

"Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours. "

"So everything's not perfect
Don't matter 'cause you'll rework it
Nothing's holding you
Never stopping, never stopping, never stopping now"

"I wanna be cool, I also wanna be like him.
But that's not something,
I can do so easily,
This is not simply my way, my own style,
Gotta get a hold of my life.
...
If i just follow you,
I will never see the light,
Now's the time to find my way through this life,
Trying so hard to be strong."

"Moving over endless mountains oh so high
Walking to the light
Your heart will
See the path and you will find your way
Just wait and see"

"Holy flame burn again for eternity burn my heart to win."

"blind and dark along my way
I must go on wise and brave before a last hail"

"What the hell am I waiting here for,
expecting you to come and give away your life
Just for a moment of my time,"

"It doesn't matter now what happens,
I will never give up the fight.
Long as the voice inside drives me to run and fight,
It doesn't matter who is wrong or who is right."

"Trust your feelings, got to live and learn.
I know with some luck that I'll make it through,
Got no other options, only one thing to do!"

"Live and learn!
Hanging on the edge of tomorrow,
Live and learn!
From the works of yesterday."

"There's no time for me to mope and cry.
I've got to get started now.
Adventures are so much the meaning to life!"

I think that many things require different insights. Sometimes you have to realize that you're fighting a lost battle, so just give up, wander off a bit, discover new places, new people, new adveturs. Just stop fighting before you lose your sanity. I'm glad I was able to give up before I was too wounded to recover, I know the price was a very high one, but thanks to the king intentions of a friend I regained part of my hope. So I'll wander a little, trying to once again see the world with the eyes of a children, purify my heart and regain the lost innocence. I invite anyone interested to accompany me on this journey, I'll try to keep a log here of most interesting events, and in a near future I'll resume the adventurer chronicles, with new and exciting passages of the story yet to be written.
The winds are changing, they blow not against, nor in favor, they only refresh and inspire. The silent messages that roam through the air indicate the world is wainting to see what happens, and I know I'll be there when it does.
The sends of time are gone now, and time destroyed everything, but from the sands left behind I will rise, build a new empire, even if I have to bury all traces of the past, I hope I can salvage the best treasures of the anciente lives.
As Ixidor, The reality sculptor said: "My past holds only pain and loss. I will conquer it by creating the perfect future."
I hope you will be a part of it.
And I must thank someone, once more... thanks, you've done more than you imagine, and asked nothing in return but my smile, that is true friendship.