Hypocrisy
I know I like to argue, discuss about life, the universe, and everything.
I think that disagreeing with others may cause evolution, the exchange of knowledge, the learning new points of view. Of course one would have to be willing to learn for this to work.
After many exchanges in my life, I find most thoughts to be unsuprising. I may not ever agree with others point of view, (ok most of the time I don't agree), but at least I know when someone is glad with what they believe, so I respect their opinion, for it might be right, or for all that counts, right for them, even if wrong for me. There is little point to disturbing a system that is in peace, as long as that system doesn't conflict with mine, leave it to be happy.
So I may believe unnecessary to learn more points of view, at least not at this momment, it is not something fulfilling for me, and most importantly I feel complete with all the knowledge of my life, now I must go for something more important than perspectives.
I makes me feel strange, the fact that what I wish for, is completely different than what I pray for every night.
I feel a hypocrist with this. Praying for something that isn't really what I want. Not that I don't want my prayers to come true, I want them to come true, but I know that if they did, they wouldn't satisfy me, not enough, so would find something new to pray for.
I can't pray for my wish. Not because it is nearly impossible, or because it would umbalance the world, (not that there is anyone concerned for the balance of the world), I won't pray for it because I would feel less human, it would be less according to my code of honor, because I don't want to admit such level of selfishness.
I hope one day to wish for something more like my prayers.