~ The Adventurer Chronicle 12 ~
"... In the year I spent in the cross-sky 7 peaks, I once was in a long discussion with my master... He asked me a question: - There is only one situation where the war is lost, and there is no point in battling, do you know what is it?"
I tried to argue with him, for a long time I said, the war is over when your opponent is stronger I said, the war is over when you have no more strength to fight, the war is lost when you die... I now recognize that I said many things wrong...
When he came to me the day Iwas parting, he asked me if I discovered the answer. I said that there was no answer to that question, he looked at me and said after a few seconds: "You have a nice journey, but until you find the real answer to that question you won't be able to attain the true power of my teaching, maybe thatis the most importante thing I will ever teach you. Farewell."
And then I left, giving little thought to his words. Recently I began to think about all that I have been through. I overcame Death, fought much stronger enemies, found strength when I didn't imagine I had... I basically did the imporrsible in my life.
So I thought never the war would be lost... but now I finally understand when the war would be over......... when there is no more reason to fight."
~ End of Part 12 ~

~ The Adventurer Chronicle 11 ~
"... waited for the blood to stop flowing, as the wound in his arm started to heal. A few moments later, he stood up on his foot, shook off the blood and reajusted his cape as he walked away from his friends, who were now regrouping and taking care of their on wounds. They turned just in time to see him far away, walking in the ruined hall south of where they had just fought, they thought to call him back, but hesitated knowing their words would have no effect.
Driven in deep anger, he jumped over a fallen pilar, going deep into the dark hall, then holding his arms together up his face, he whispered in obvious anger some words then threw his arms open, then as the hall got darker and he walked on, a rift appeared in his way, and as he cross it he was no longer near his conrades.
A few steps brought him to a red carpet, leading into a open room, with a fireplace, walls full of books, look more like a library, he crossed the room, ignoring the looks of wonder in the faces of those who were reading until his arrival. As he reached the main door, about three meters from it, he turned right to face the green-brown wall, one of the only parts of the room without a book. With the wave of his hand shapping strange symbols, he watched as the wall shone were his fingers just were and opened into the ground revealing an equally large room which he charged in as if trying to reach someone before everyone could react. In quick speed he crossed part of the new room and shouted: "- You know I am the only one who knows how to kill you, you do not want me to do that and you know I will. Why did you break our bargain... and do not try to run, you know you can´t..."
The man in a dark green suit just as if by instinct, jumped away about 5 meters to grab the handrail of the second floor, just in time to avoid the grappling hand in his neck. He..."
~ End of Part 11 ~

I normally wouldn´t post anything like this but I feel the need to claim high and bold... from top of the mountain.... I am completely desperate!!!!

~ The Adventurer Chronicle 10 ~
"... then he dove in the deep lake, even though he would have no problem with air, going under alone having no exact idea where to find the three objects of our search, on a place surrounded by fierce water monters, with just his lance to protect him, that just didn´t seem like the best way to aproach the situation...
I laid down my hands on the surface trying to feel what was happening, but the waves of energy on the water were too uneven for me to get accuracy.
The valley kept the weather warm at all times, which made the dive a lot easier, the sun over the top of the mountain gave a path o light into the lake, maybe not enough to reach the bottom of it, but surely was helpful.
After about twenty-five minutes, the cold chill up my spine..."
~ End of Part 10 ~

How to tell some one you love that you really love her?
I feel the need to shout to the wind that I love her, but I can´t, I almost can´t tell my friends.
I wait day by day, effort by effort, favor by favor, for a smile, a look or some sweet word, I wait to her that I am not just anyone, that I am important, that I will not become a distant memory, that she needs me in her life. I know how bad is to expect to be needed, but I just want to make her happy, but I must admit that in the brute core, I want her to like me, to feel better by my side, to feel safe with me.
If she would just care a little bit more, things wouldn´t be so hard...

~ A Prayer ~
May my mind be crystal clear,
always ready, with no fear.
May my body be strong as stone,
of fiery flesh and impervious bone.
May my soul be pure and innocent,
bright before the dark so imminent.
May my road be clean and swift,
as passing through the cloud´s rift.
May my heart never fail,
as I search far for her trail.
May my love reman in memory,
even divided by a wall of ivory.
May this fight not end in vain,
so my soul can endure this pain.
May my fight be worth the while,
for all is worth to see her smile.
~ Entry in the "Book of Tales" ~

~ Void ~
"...I could feel the energy flow, somehow all energy around was being pulled toward de center of the mountain, I knew I shouldn´t go on, but something familiar was drawing me there.
The wind stopped for a moment and gave way to the sensation of being in the void, some steps farther I found this hole in the wall, it was pulling everything there, so I tried to stand my groung while I observed that strange phenomenom. For a while I could see the light vanishing inside, time seemed instable, like tima could not pass around there.
I could feel my merory´s cleaning up, toughts, worries, feelings all slipped from me into the rift. For almost all the time I felt home, my mind was clear, and the void inside me felt like many times before. It was hard to understand, or even explain, but I knew I felt connected with the void outside me.
Some time later, I could feel my very existance being taken from me... I hesitated, i wanted to go all in, be lost in tima and space, so my mind and heart would finally rest forever. Then I broke my toughts and went back, when I got far enough I realized the only thing that was completely uneffected by the void was one, and only one, memory...yours...
Though it felt good to be unworried, I felt lonely without you, now more than ever. I set out to find another way in life, to search for you, for a way to be with you. I thought that maybe some day in the future when is were to die, this could be a way..."
~ Part of the Lost Diary ~

I sometimes like to believe that dreams are a slight forecast of the future, even if sometimes you have a nightmare, or bad dream, you could always try to overcome it. But when you awake and remember the best of dream, you can´t resist the urge to want it to be true, after all, if in some way it come true, it can be a very happy fate.
Good dreams remember me of the things worth fighting for... friends, love... a good dream may revive all hope, hope you thought you had lost.
The future may be yet to be revealed, but I hope this dream to be a glimpse into it.

~ Inner Monologue ~
Oh, then tell me, have I not always treated you well?
I guess not. I´m sorry, I didn´t mean to.
If there is one sure thing is that I want you to be happy!
But I guess my way of showing it does not correspond to your expectations,that is, if you have any.
The way things are, I imagine you do not like me, maybe I just don´t add any good things to your life, after all, why would any one want to be with me?!
My biggest mistake was letting this feeling grow inside, now it is way out of proportion, I guess I should never have expected you to love me, or even think you would stand by my side, as a friend, a true friend.
Anyway, you don´t seem very concerned with this relations. I do understand your reasons, but for me this is just painful, I can´t live without you, but near you I get treated like someone bad. I know I don´t deserve your love, but I hoped I was wrong, or at least I could get your frienship.
I can´t take it anymore...
I need you...
I love you...
Without you,
I´d rather die.
For I feel like my soul is already dead...
~ End Monologue ~

Viver com essa sensação tem sido exaustivo, eu não sei mais oque fazer...
Tantas são as perguntas na mina cabeça que eu não consigo responder nenhuma.
Porque eu? Porque ela? Porque agora?
... nada tem muitos por quês, eu só percebi, os meus poderes voltaram e junto voltou a minha empatia. São tantas emoções ao mesmo tempo que eu não sei com vou aguentar.
Eu quero cair no chão sem forças mas não consigo, não sei oque há de errado.
Talvez seja carência, eu não sei, eu percebi essa semana muita merda. Percebi que eu não tenho mais aqueles que lutam do meu lado, percebi que no fundo ninguém se importa... falo essas coisas muito mais emocionalmente do que racionalmente. Queria não ter essa vontade absurda de chorar, queria que algo de bom acontecesse, sei lá
no fundo, acho que isso tudo deve ser... bem se for eu não tenho oque fazer é pegar ou largar, não há como mudar essa situação nem com a mais drástica das atitudes...
Queria, sei lá, fugir desse planeta com alguém que... ah desencana, esse alguém não existe, é apenas um delírio da minha imaginação...
Espero que isso passe com o tempo, ou por ele vou ser consumido.

~ The Adventurer Chronicle 9 ~
"...then a flash passed through, bringing me to my knees. They stoped by my side and asked both at the same time:
- What happened? Are you all right?
I tried to respond, but the feeling was almost paralizing, my hand holding my armor close to my chest, I just could keep staring at the ground beneath me, until some of my strength left took some words out my mouth, I barely could understand what I was saying, my mind couldn´t keep much track with all those sensations...
- Oh, this strange.... what is going on? This pain, this void... I can´t explain, I feel far from here. Something is wrong, my heart... can´t hold... why? what? who? far... pain... no, not... alone...
At the end of my words, I couldn´t hold my consciousness, I felt alone, unguarded, unprotected, empty...alone... and then I fell on the ground unconscious...
~ End of Part 9 ~

I feel now my past coming back,
Its echoes haunting my soul.
Now they have backup,
And I find myself alone.
I fear for my weakness,
I fear I don't feel well.
I fear I may not be strong enough,
I fear I may not survive.
In the end I don't think it is bad.
As for this time, I am really alone...

~ The Adventurer Chronicle 8/II ~
"...I was expecting to be unnoticed, but I wasn´t. The friends voice in the rain was quite supportive: - You know, no matter how long you stare at the moon, she will not like you more...
- I know, but maybe the moon will come to like me more.
- What, more?! As if you weren´t already overblessed by the "moon".
I smiled, altough i knew the conversation was going te get serious. He paused for a while, then said: - I know it´s hard all you have been through with Selina...sorry.
At the sound of her name my body flinched, flexing all my muscles. After a few seconds he continued: - But still, this new girl is going, it´s going to be a really a difficult relationship. She is not like the other girls we know.
- I know that very well, too well. I probably can´t do anything to get her to care for someone, or something, she just isn´t tunned with sentimental feelings. But you see she has a lot of potential?
- Yes, I do. I also noticed she is kind of a mix between Selina and Steff!
I gently smiled at the precise observation and elaborated: - Yeah, some of Steff´s sweet and innocent stile, with the mature detached independence from Selina. Man I miss her, I have to see her soon.
- Well if they didn´t lie to us, we should find her in two more days. Well I am getting tired, maybe you should get some rest too.
- I´m going to apreciate this view, one of the best Hecata has presented to me, and later I will go, thanks, you should be exausted after today, go on to bed.
- Yeah I will, good night.
Then he went back to sleep, while I stood there for some more time, until I got tired and finally went to bed."
~ End of Part 8 ~