The new year.
365 days we go through every year (give or take)
As you go old, each day/week/month seems to go by faster.
And with time passing faster, changes come every more often.
We may fight it, but we can't change it. We can barely avoid some of the worst changes.
It seems like yesterday. I had a terrible accident.
It's been 4 months.
I also changed jobs.
And with the new job, I'm going to another city.
I started wearing glasses.
It has been too much.
I took a time off, going to my aunt's country house. It was nice. But not perfect.
This new year has not started well.
And as dealing with some people has become a sad reminder of a past that shall be my future, and my parents have been demanding a lot from me, I feel really tired.
I want to get away.
I want to break free from my past.
Sometimes I think the only way I have to regain the lost part of my soul is to get away from everything from my past. Start fresh from scratch.
Of course, it would be a great sacrifice, one that I technically don't want to do, after all there is too much to lose, and no guarantee that something will be gained.
But I'm more than tired of walking alone. Of feeling inferior to others, because I don't excel at anything.
Most importantly, I miss that feeling of having someone to waste time with, someone that I don't want to do anything, just be together and waste time.
I'll miss those long talks on the bed/sofa and the random bursts of music that bonds. And I'll forever be grateful for that marvelous song you introduced me to.
But I must go. I've been slowly becoming evil, exactly the sort of person I dislike. The one that needs attention, that thinks of the reward of being nice to someone else. I hate wanting someone that goes through some effort for me. I probably hate this more because no one...
Maybe someday I'll go back to being a person dedicated to make others smile, just happy to see them smile.
To bad I'll never gain that smile back.
Either way, I'm trying to put the last of my strengths to becoming the best at my job.
I'll try to post more when I'm settled with internet at my new home.
And hopefully I'll get to live alone for time enough to relax.