Status Attraction
People, all, have attributes that are better developed than others.
Some are wiser, or more intelligent or even stronger.
In general, each one has a main status that dictates importance. And we mostly search for someone who has a higher score in our main status.
Why is this?
We usually excel in what we consider to be best, it is unusual to find someone who is such a devotee of intelligence saying that people should be strong and not intelligent. And when we try to find someone to like, we want this person to be the best available, the best for US.
As an example. Take this social girl, all focused on looks and charisma. Usually in this example the girl would never be seen with someone who is a social outcast. To her, not being social is worse thing you can do as being.
As with me, even thought I have a history of defending well balanced status, I have a primary status in this life. I have a very nice wisdom score. I do have also a good intelligence, and reasonable dexterity, but all else are below average. To me, someone who is not intelligent, is someone hard to live with, and someone without wisdom and common sense in unbearable.
There is a reason why most time people marry someone from work, or an old friend. It is because through time, only those you respect are worth your effort, and those are the ones with your preferred status.

The End of Luck
Since I was a child, I've considered myself to be lucky.
I don't know where it came from.
Maybe it was the games that I won, or maybe the way I roll dice.
Along with this, there was the legend, of those who were much more luckier, when around me, at the same time making me unlucky.
But I've been playing and saying that I have a basic bonus to all that is based on random chance.
Now, in the face of the recent events I can't say this anymore.
Since the year began, I've lost nearly all games I played, lost most opportunities to play the games that I wanted, had two orders stuck in customs, with a highly abusive tax over them (these were all of the games I ordered for me, those I got for others did not stop at customs), and of course, my car was stolen.
Only two weeks into the year, and I just know it will suck.
And now I'm in a new city, with a new job, that does not pay too much. And everything is just going to be hard.
I keep saying to myself, "I used to be a fighter.". I did. I tried not to let these kind of things get to me. But life took its toll.
In short, I have no fucking idea where it went, but I definitely have no more luck, not even to take a bus to a movie on time.

Change of Subject...
I was gonna say something different today, seeing that I was having some good time at work, but as usual, life makes a sudden change of subject.

Then I shall only say.

My car was stolen. Two days into work. Less than 15 days in my hands of the last 5 months, including the day I got it, and the accident.

The new year.
365 days we go through every year (give or take)
As you go old, each day/week/month seems to go by faster.
And with time passing faster, changes come every more often.
We may fight it, but we can't change it. We can barely avoid some of the worst changes.
It seems like yesterday. I had a terrible accident.
It's been 4 months.
I also changed jobs.
And with the new job, I'm going to another city.
I started wearing glasses.
It has been too much.
I took a time off, going to my aunt's country house. It was nice. But not perfect.
This new year has not started well.
And as dealing with some people has become a sad reminder of a past that shall be my future, and my parents have been demanding a lot from me, I feel really tired.
I want to get away.
I want to break free from my past.
Sometimes I think the only way I have to regain the lost part of my soul is to get away from everything from my past. Start fresh from scratch.
Of course, it would be a great sacrifice, one that I technically don't want to do, after all there is too much to lose, and no guarantee that something will be gained.
But I'm more than tired of walking alone. Of feeling inferior to others, because I don't excel at anything.
Most importantly, I miss that feeling of having someone to waste time with, someone that I don't want to do anything, just be together and waste time.
I'll miss those long talks on the bed/sofa and the random bursts of music that bonds. And I'll forever be grateful for that marvelous song you introduced me to.
But I must go. I've been slowly becoming evil, exactly the sort of person I dislike. The one that needs attention, that thinks of the reward of being nice to someone else. I hate wanting someone that goes through some effort for me. I probably hate this more because no one...
Maybe someday I'll go back to being a person dedicated to make others smile, just happy to see them smile.
To bad I'll never gain that smile back.
Either way, I'm trying to put the last of my strengths to becoming the best at my job.
I'll try to post more when I'm settled with internet at my new home.
And hopefully I'll get to live alone for time enough to relax.