I am now beginning to see that the world may be fair after all...
After years and years believing that life was unfair, I have como to think it may be fair in subtle ways. That we may deserve our pain and suffering, for many actions done wrong, that we think as normal or as right.

So many times I wished for a better life, thinking I did not deserve so much pain and suffering, but recently I have done an act vile, cruel, just plain bad, and yet I did not realize its cruelty until it was already done. I now keep asking myself if I have done wrong before and see so many errors that I have como to think I might actually deserve the most fierce and strong pain that there is...............

Now I face a new level of pain. Somewhat deeper than before. You now that sensation of I don't deserve this pain, and teh sensation of knowing you done something wrong. The mix of those two feelings, has created a deep regret for my past and made me accept the old pain, maiking room for new ones.

I know I've done many stupid things in the past, many wrong things...but what I have realized now is by far much more painful than other mistakes I have done. To hurt, cause pain or suffering to someone you love is the greatest mistake I could ever do, but this was not the first time but I hope it to be the last. Maybe by now, by all I have done, I may have lost her trust, and in part her frindship, I just hope to have time to save something more precious than my life...

Well there is not much left, I could ask everyone I have done wrong for forgiveness, but I wouldn't make things right...I just wish there were a way to undo my wrongs or at least make up for them!!!

Então, agora eu estou de férias...
por enquento estou entediado, mas daqui a pouco arrnajo algo pra fazer
devo logo continuar as cronicas...
ate lá me aguardem...